Did you try quite sometime before realizing that you were facing infertility issues? Did you/Do you feel infertile?
I think am struggling with the idea of infertility, what my definition is of fertility, and how I process it.
I only recently learned that I have PCOS but I can't say that I feel infertile. With the exception of period having been MIA for almost 3 months now, I feel practically fine. I contacted my doc because my husband and I have been trying for more than 6 months with no luck (we have a 5 year old son) and I wanted to make sure all was well.
We never did the unsucessful TTC thing. My periods started late at 15 and were never regular. I am still shocked I didn't get diagnosed in high school when my period lasted for a whole month with severe bleeding. Went to the doctor and there solution was always birth control. They never helped me. When I was older and they stopped completely they still didn't care because I didn't want to get pregnant yet. I knew I wasn't ovulating so when we wanted to get pregnant we went right in to the doctor for infertility treatment. There was no way I was going to try at something I knew I wasn't going to be successful at. Still frustrated that they blow women off unless they want to get pregnant.
Well.... I guess I knew I was infertile long before TTC. I got married at 18 and I watched many of my girlfriends throughout our 20s get pregnant by accident. I wasn't more or less careful than they were with birth control. I never once was pregnant. I went for 3 years without using any birth control at all before TTC, I guess we were not trying/not preventing. My periods are like clockwork. When we finally started TTC after 11 years of marriage, I suspected difficulty early but first I went and did acupuncture and the natural route for almost 2 years. The acupuncturist told me my cycles were perfect and she just needed to strengthen blood flow. I went gluten/sugar/dairy free for an extended amount of time. I had all the blood tests done and ultrasounds of my ovaries - everything looked perfect. After trying for 2 years this way, finally I went to the RE. My tubes were both blocked. I had a laproscopy done to investigate. They found the muscles on my fallopian tubes don't do the work needed to push the eggs through, they are also underformed - the thinnest the doc ever saw. The blockages in my tubes were just caused by mucus that could not be moved through either. My doc cleared my tubes - I basically had an intense roto rooter session while having laproscopy. They cleared them and then did a saline HSG to continue to keep them clear for a few months while I tried to TTC. They also found issues with my cervix which is basically shaped like a switchback which is why for all my years I have had strange period issues. In the end, my issues were not at all hormonal - all physical. IVF is not even an option because with my crazy cervix and terrible tubes, no one wanted to give me good success rates. I saw several REs and they all gave me the grimmest of prognosis. I am now happily adopting.
So yes, I tried for a while, was in denial and then moved on. Now, I know some women cannot happily move on to adoption but for me, it was just the right thing. I will always be "infertile" though. I carry the title proudly now as I feel that so many women are afraid to talk about it.
I knew infertility was a strong possibility long before meeting my dh or getting married. I've had irregular periods my whole life, also got completely blown off by doctors like a previous poster. Through charting, I discovered I wasn't ovulating regularly when I was about 24. I was officially diagnosed with PCOS at 26, about a month before I got married. We did a round of fertility treatments just under a year after getting married because I hadn't ovulated that whole time. The treatment failed (though SIL did get pregnant with twins right around that time... talk about irony...), and we went on to conceive on our own about 6 months later. We also conceived on our own in August, but I miscarried in September. Even though I can clearly get pregnant on my own, making me much luckier in some ways than many in this forum, I still consider myself infertile, and have since long before hitting the "1 year of unsuccessful trying" mark set by many medical professionals. Someone once linked to a great article on "emotional infertility", which really hit home for me. I'll have to see if I can find it. Some days I do better than others, but even having had my son, I still have a lot of unresolved emotions about my fertility and my not-properly-functioning body. The miscarriage definitely did not help that.
Even if you are diagnosed as "infertile", it is NOT necessary to internalize/accept that label. Yes, you should accept the physical/medical reality of the fact that conception may be difficult or impossible on your own (or even with help), but you don't have to be emotionally branded by it, or give up all hope, or hate yourself. Whatever feelings you have, be they positive, negative, or confused, are perfectly okay. If you feel in a place to choose to reject the negativity, I highly recommend it. I do not like the negativity infertility has brought into my life. But I'm not yet in a place to challenge that. If I'd had a magic crystal ball so I could know then what I know then, I would have tried to be more positive/optimistic.