I've been with him for a year now. We don't live together yet but see each other twice a week with all of the kids together. He has 2 daughters ages 7 and 4. I have 4 children, ages 10, 8, 4, and 2.
My children are generally well-behaved. They are not perfect, they do misbehave sometimes but nothing problematic and they are extremely well behaved when in other people's houses.
My boyfriend's children are destructive and violet with potty mouths and bad attitudes. Because I love him and we are in a long-term relationship with hopes of living together or marrying someday I have accepted them and loved them. I thought that the behavior would change, but it hasn't and we've been together over a year.
This behavior has been there since the beginning and I don't know how to change it. I am afraid for my children. On Christmas Eve we were at a party with their family and his daughter hit my 10 year old, then pushed her onto the floor and kicked her in the face. It was horrible and traumatic for my 8 year old who saw it happen and was in tears. I was livid and heart broken for my daughter, and took them home immediately.
His 4 year old is no better. She has pushed, pinched, bitten and hit my kids numerous times. She and her sister destroy my children's toys from time to time.
I have approached my boyfriend with my concerns about their behavior but he became immediately defensive and criticized my children. I pointed out that my children may not be perfect but they are not violent and don't destroy other people's property. He calmed down and said he would work on it but didn't know how to change their behavior. He obviously hasn't been disciplining them much, which he admits, and actually his ex has a huge problem with their behavior as I do and is trying to get me to urge him to do something about it (he is with them for most of the time).
I just don't know what to do. I MUST protect my children. How can I do this and still have a relationship with him? He is the sweetest man I have ever met. He's shy and adorable, loving, honest, genuine...well I could go on because I love him to pieces but you get the idea.
Please help :'(