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When are you telling others?

post #1 of 48
Thread Starter 

I've had a couple *early* losses but I'm bursting at the seems. I've told a few online friends but that's it, well and DH :)

I have some friends in real life that would be supportive through another m/c that I've been thinking about telling but then the fun of a big reveal is awesome too!

I'm a "fluffy" mama so I'm hopeful that I can hide it (and I would be able to from all the family if we didn't just have a family member move close to us and like to see us on a regular basis) save for a few friends that would notice right away if I was wearing mat pants. Which is becoming more and more likely as I seem to have enough non noticeable bloat going on that wearing my current jeans for too long is uncomfortable. Said family member would notice right away if I was wearing mat pants. And it's COLD :cold where we live so the comfy pants are not always an option! And this family member does not know about our past losses nor would we want them to know about future ones.

Hopefully we can make it until we go on a trip with my parents at the end of Feb! I'll be over the first trimester and we are going to "the happiest place on earth" so I was hoping I could tell them someway then! Airplanes and Elevators make me not feel the greatest and I have some health issues so if I still have MS then (haven't gotten it yet but most likely will) I can *hopefully* pass it off as one of those. Although I think my mom has been waiting/hoping for an announcement for a while now, she doesn't know we're trying but she knows I want more and my two are getting older.

post #2 of 48

SO and I found out on Christmas Eve when I took a hpt.  We ended up telling his parents, sister, and niece on Christmas.  His mom was talking about going out and finding new stocking holders and since they are cheap right now we decided to tell them so they could get a stocking and a holder for cheap.  I have told my best friend because we are close and I don't like keeping things from her.  I will tell my daughter next week when she gets home from her dad's.  I will most likely have to tell my family shortly after that even though I would prefer to wait.  I don't want to tell my daughter that she has to keep it a secret.  I don't know when or if I will make any announcements on Facebook.

post #3 of 48
I'm waiting awhile this time to tell most people. I told two close friends since I had only told them a week prior that we were TTC and that I would know by Christmas. wink1.gif This is our fifth. I had a loss between our third and fourth and had to rescind my announcement on facebook (8 weeks). Never again. I did announce the fourth fairly early, but only because we had an US with a heartbeat at 7 weeks. I am so nervous this time that things won't work out and I hate to deal with any negative responses since we have so many children, especially if it doesn't pan out. I don't want to see a doctor my first trimester. I don't want to know the sex. And I'm considering UC. But I'm not sure if I have it in me to survive all of this not-knowing. shrug.gif
post #4 of 48
We told everyone over Christmas, just because I typically love my cocktails and I can only claim dehydration from jet lag for so long! wink1.gif I prefer to wait until 12 weeks but 6 weeks it is this time!
post #5 of 48

If this baby sticks, I will probably wait till at least 10 weeks… Valentine's Day might be nice :-)

post #6 of 48
If we don't have too much trouble I hope to let people know in March. We may tell the family for Valentine's Day but since my last pregnancy ended at 15 weeks right after we told everyone I'm a little gun shy.
post #7 of 48

Tips for waiting? I have a really hard time waiting to tell others. Especially people close to me. I want to start celebrating this baby .... but it's so early and I'm still protecting myself because I'm scared to start spotting... everytime I go to the bathroom, I'm holding my breath. 


I've told my best friend (I'd want her to know if I had another miscarriage anyway..). 

post #8 of 48
Thread Starter 
No clue. I want to tell a few friends too, who have always been told ASAP and have been through my previous m/c's with me.. But something keeps stoping me every time I consider telling them greensad.gif I too look for spoofing every time. And I've had some white tissue/cervical mucus a couple times come out and that was worrisome... I think I might tell them all in a couple weeks as my latest m/c was around 6.5/7 weeks and I'm having enough symptoms that make this feel real.

Everyone else I'm ok waiting with lol with my mom it's always better to completely shock and surprise her. And my Inlaws have never been excited about any of our pregnancies, even though I thought they would be with the last. They manage to over step every time and their "support" comes across in rude comments. So it's easy to wait on them wink1.gif
post #9 of 48
Why does the white discharge scare you? Isn't it just the mucous plug forming?
post #10 of 48

I'm probably waiting until 10+ weeks. I feel like miscarriage chances are so high. I might give in and make a valentine-themed announcement for distant family... What are the other holiday options? April Fool's Day or the Spring Equinox? Maybe Spring would work. I might tell a friend or two and maybe my grown daughter who lives out of state and wouldn't spread the word pretty soon.

post #11 of 48
Originally Posted by littlest birds View Post

I'm probably waiting until 10+ weeks. I feel like miscarriage chances are so high. I might give in and make a valentine-themed announcement for distant family... What are the other holiday options? April Fool's Day or the Spring Equinox? Maybe Spring would work. I might tell a friend or two and maybe my grown daughter who lives out of state and wouldn't spread the word pretty soon.
Ooh. I like the idea of Spring for announcing. There's always Groundhog's Day lol.gif My birthday is in early March so I was thinking about maybe announcing then. People can't be upset on my birthday, right (fifth child)? You could also just use your own special date, like the end of the first trimester. I've never done a special announcement (other than showing my mom an ultrasound) and I was thinking about doing it this time around. I think we'll buy or make big brother/sister shirts or even just their birth order and take pictures to frame and give to my parents. I'm still not sure yet.
post #12 of 48
I've already told a few people who I am close to and asked them to keep it quiet. I just don't want to make a big announcement in case we loose this one and I have to tell all the well wishers that I have miscarried.
post #13 of 48

I've told one girlfriend, cause she's expecting too (#2), and we're excited to go thru a pregnancy together!  I plan on waiting until after the 10 week mark just to be safe.  Although, my mil is coming out for a week in a few days, and I'm not sure we'll be able to keep it from her!  DD1 knows, cause she saw us congratulating each other, and DD2 is just super perceptive, so she's doing a ton of reflecting on the birth of her baby bro!  It's pretty cute!  My family will have the same reaction as always...'Oh boy" real sarcastic like, so waiting to tell them won't be a prob!  My husbands family will be over the moon :)  I'd love to do a sweet Valentine's e-card announcement.  I've never done one before, but sent ultrasound photos with the last one.

post #14 of 48
We haven't told anyone yet, and I think that's what is keeping but from feeling "real". Granted we've known less than a week so far, but I am really torn. Part of me feels like I want to have some time to treasure the news, keep it to myself and let it soak in. I'm also a tiny bit nervous this time that something might go wrong (I've never had a pregnancy in my 30s). The other part of me is dying to tell and so excited for everyone's reactions. I think that telling others and having them share this joyful feeling is what makes the reality of it all sink in.
So I don't know what to do :/?!
post #15 of 48
Thread Starter 
I hear you mygreenestgrass!!! I have to catch myself constantly from saying stuff about it!

It's getting really bad because we have so much coming up that will be affected by it and so I'm planning around it but can't exactly tell anyone why... Big one... We're going away to "the happiest place on earth" with my parents and I plan to tell them then, but they are paying for the trip and Dad wants me to figure out what parks and tickets we should get. Well I feel comfortable riding some of the "expectant mothers should not ride" rides at DL where as I don't at Knott's or Universal. Plus there only about 7 at DL that have that deceleration where as there are 30 out of 41 at Knott's and I think all at Universal has it. Including the "Backlot Tour"... So safe to say, I'd rather do extra days at DL and so I'm really having to watch myself when it comes to explaining why I think certain places are better than others to my dad when it is really just a simple "these are better because I'm pregnant" explanation lol

Today I looked like death while out for breakfast. I needed the food/protein but felt horrible and people kept looking at my like I had the plauge... No you aren't going toget what I have... It's not contagious... It's just the 9 month flu...
post #16 of 48

"The Spencer Family is growing by 2 feet in 2014!" (How I announced on social media this morning)

I'm 7.5 weeks. I feel it's early but we also "had" to tell people over the holidays and I don't want other friends I would normally tell feeling left out. Plus, someone mentioned it this morning on facebook and I needed to rush!

post #17 of 48

We told everyone  this week.  I guess it's early, I'm only about 5 weeks along but last time we waited to tell, and it was the first time we had waited but i ended up miscarrying, so I wound up announcing the pregnancy with the miscarriage.  I suppose, for me, a miscarriage isn't something I can keep quiet and I would hate to have to do it that way again.  Part of me really wants to keep it a secret for a while, but I'm too scared of miscarrying and needing that support iwthout having let people know that I was even pregnant first.  It was just so hard to be prepared to announce a pregnancy, then go to the doctor, hvae no heartbeat and wind up announcing a miscarriage instead.

post #18 of 48

@WendyJo  OMG that it awesome!!!!!


I'm still brainstorming Valentine themed announcements...something about 'hearts expanding to make more room'...idk.    Ideas?

post #19 of 48
@wendyjo love it!
post #20 of 48
Cute wendyjo!
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