Hello Mothering.com community,
I am new to the site and was really hoping to get some different perspective from you all. I have 2 children 2 and 5.
A little background...Shortly after the birth of my youngest daughter I found out that my husband at the time was having an affair with the Director of the Daycare facility where we brought our children, lets call her Tausha. We are now divorced and the children's father and I share 50/50 custody. Tausha also got a divorce and shares custody of her three children and lives with my former spouse. I could write a book about the in's and out's of that whole experience but that is not why I am reaching out to you today.
About 4 months ago when my youngest had barely turned 2 I noticed that she started calling Tausha "Mom". I brought it up to my former spouse and Tausha and their response was we are going to allow her to call Tausha what ever she wants. I was incredibly hurt at first but then I pulled my big girl panties up and moved forward. Now about four months later I have tried to explain to my youngest that she has one Mom which is "me" and let's call Tausha Mama T. She caught on and it lasted for a bit but since its not supported at the other home it didn't last. About 2 weeks ago I took my two girls to a school concert for my oldest daughter. While in the stands my youngest daughter saw her step-sister and with a raised voice said, "Where's my Mama? Where's my Mama?" It was uncomfortable because she was in my arms and I am sure the other parents around me didn't know what to think. I brought it up to my former spouse and Tausha yesterday. I suggested we adopt the Mama T so that she will not be so confused. Tausha told me "We tell her she has 2 Mamas." In which I came back with, "She has one Mama." Shortly after my former spouse called me on the phone, chewed me out and told me what a horrible person I was and how our daughter should call Tausha what ever she wants. I told him that she is so young she needs her parents to guide her. Last week my daughter called my boyfriend of 9 months "Daddy" and we corrected her.
I am starting this post to vent as well as learn from your experiences. I would appreciate your thoughts...