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Tired Stressed New Mama Needs Gentle Caring Holistic Advice and Support

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

Hello dear sweet Mamas...

I'm feeling very tired with 2 painful canker sores on my tongue and I can barely eat, talk, swallow, or drink, I mean, I can do those things, but with much effort.  I really need supportive caring kind friends right now.  Is there a forum dedicated to raising a child, specifically a toddler in a holistic balanced manner or is a good percentage of the dear sweet Mamas here holistic-minded, anti-big pharma, anti-vaccines, etc?  I ask this because I'm going crazy with my teething little 1, who is now 21 months.  Wow, so exhausting...I mean, I love him dearly, he's my beautiful wonderful sweet adorable baby boy, but he screams like a banshee and I just want to cry, cover my ears, and hide under the covers.  


I'm treating his teething with Hyland's teething tablets, I put the gel on the nipple of his bottle, I put some organic chamomile essential oil on a qtip and try to get some onto his gums and I apply some to the outside of his cheek, which he likes...he's so very cute...he tries to grab the qtip and when I put the qtip in his mouth, he bites on it very hard...I have several teething toys I give him...I need to remember to freeze them, but there are moments when he has a fit, screams and cries, and shakes his head and the moment I hand them to him or put them in his pack and play bed, he immediately, throws them with all his might outside, and I have to take cover because I never know where he's going to throw them.  I put the tablets in his mouth and I don't even try to massage them into his gums because he'll bite my finger, which he's done too many times and ouchie, it was very painful...yikes...he's got teeth.  Is this what other Mamas do?


I also give him a little chamomile tea to soothe him and help him sleep and I need to buy more wash cloths and freeze them, but I need to know...what else do you use, dear sweet Mamas, that help your little 1s?  I even distract him and tickle him and play with him, which he likes, but it doesn't last long.  He seems to be becoming more willful and stronger and it seems that he's reached another milestone, but not sure which...I'd give anything to resume breastfeeding him again and it's a very long painful story as to why I'm not able to...but I'm seeking help from a local LLL leader or lactation specialist...I've read that the teething can last easily into age 3...is this true and Mamas...what do you do when your dear sweet little Angel Cherub screams like a banshee and you're ready to run to the moon?  


He's soothed by his bottle with non-dairy milk in it and a little chamomile tea in it.  It's the sudden nerve-shredding screams that really make me cry...oh and his amber necklace, which he wears on his ankle under his flannel onesie...I need to cleanse it under a Full Moon...but I've read about Mamas who swear by it...and I'm wondering...would he be much worse if he wasn't wearing it?  I'm certainly not doubting its effectiveness...I'm very much a believer, but there are times when I'm wondering if it's working...but maybe he would be much worse?  Do you Mamas ever put Hyland's gel on your nipples or another natural soothing gel to protect your nipples from your baby's teeth?  I read on Kelly Mom that breastfeeding can be done even when your baby has a mouth full of teeth and I need to know how this is possible.  I really need a vacation or at least, a restful break.  Thank you for listening.  I appreciate all the caring kind support I receive.

post #2 of 7
Hugs to you! I have a screamer too and It's so hard! My LO's have all been early teethers so far who were done by 21 mon. But I remember once when I was staying with my parents, my DD having a terrible night of screaming due to teething as a young toddler. I went to their freezer in the middle of the night to see what I could find and the most suitable thing I could offer her was a frozen french fry. It worked wonders and completely calmed her.
post #3 of 7

First of all, keep telling yourself over and over and over, that this will pass.  This mantra has gotten me through some very rough moments.  Now, in regards to the breast feeding.  I too had a very hard time establishing breast feeding.  It was because my lo was in NICU for a week and was too sick to try.  It took me a month (which I know isn't long in the scheme of things, but it was awful).  Well, my lo is now 13 months and we have EBF since she latched on and nursed at one month.  THEN, we hit a rough spot about a month ago when she hit another round of teething (she already had four at the time), and she bit me.  A lot.   Hard.   She even drew blood several times.   I wanted to die.   I was crushed, but I did not want to give up BF, so I did a TON of reading and research.  In the end the only thing that worked was to calmly say, "No bite", remove my nipple, and with hold the breast for a few minutes.  After a little over a week she understood "no bite" and we have been bite free.  It was very hard.  I was in tears and thought I was doomed.  Here are some links that helped me, and if your doctor can prescribe you Newman's Nipple Ointment its amazing (I mean the natural stuff was NOT cutting it) ..



Brightest Blessings to you, THIS WILL PASS <3

(btw, I write this to you through burning sleep deprived eyes as we navigate yet another sleep regression...this will pass, this will pass, this will pass...)

post #4 of 7
My first went through an awful biting phase as well. I eventually used the same approach as garden dweller and it did work! But it was soo hard to stay calm and not yell because it hurt so much. My 2nd would tend to bite just as he was drifting off to sleep, so I would have my finger readly y and learned to delatch at the rght moment.

Is biting the trouble you were having with BFing? Aside from biting, a full set of teeth shouldn't affect BFing if latch is correct. My youngest is only 7 mon and has all his front teeth.

Another issue can be nursing strikes. Two of my LO's have gone through it during teething. The only time they would nurse was in the middle of the night while mostly asleep. Of course that can affect supply.

Good luck to you! Remember this difficult time will pass
post #5 of 7

My 2yo DD is cutting molars, one down 3 to go, and she's a miserable teether.  Without the amber necklace, holy hell I don't think I could take it!  It's just enough to take the edge off and reduce screaming and wailing to whimpering and whining. The hyland tabs help her a bit too. She hasn't been bad this week, but I also use essential oils and have been looking as using diluted clove EO on her gums for the numbing effect, so maybe that's an option for you.

post #6 of 7

Hugs to you!  Yes, teething is AWFUL!!!!!  Awful, awful, awful!   Really, it seems like such a cruel joke on babies...

I'm in the thick of it with my second child, and I'm a bit terrified this time because this kid is not the sort who goes for pacifiers/teething toys/fingers/distractions/anything.  Nope, with him, it's the boob, or nothing.  So tons of screaming/fussing/crying/drooling when that's not available.  (At least his older brother liked a pacifier, so he just chewed, chewed, chewed on that thing.)  If you've found something that works, even a little, that's awesome.  I use Hylands/Camilia mostly, and that seems to help somewhat.  Chamomile is good for helping them relax in the evening, when the irritability has built up a majestic crescendo, so they will eventually be able to wind down and go to sleep at night. 


As for the screamy stuff, ahhh yes, it's a phase.  I bought some noise cancelling headphones because I'm super sensitive to noise...my stress level went way down after that!   

post #7 of 7
Thread Starter 

Hi dear sweet Mamas,

Just your kind caring sweet gentle replies comfort me a bit and help me feel supported and less alone.  To answer a couple questions a few of the replies contained, yes, I am believing more and more that breastfeeding a mouth full of teeth is indeed possible and it comforts me to know that it is indeed possible...I'll need to wait until after the crazy Full Moon because my lo was born under a Full Moon and like clockwork, he is majorly influenced and goes completely crazy and his teething is majorly magnified during the lunar cycle...my DH and I talked about it and I thought about it and I decided that what I'm going to do is put some Baby Orajel Naturals teething gel on my nipples and hopefully that will help numb the pain from my baby's teeth and instead of pumping, I"ll give him my breasts...it's a very painful long story and every time I have to relive it, I cry and feel very depressed about it, but the idiot psycho hospital where I gave birth and delivered my lo was full of asinine stupid incompetent perfume stinkers who nearly killed me with their atrocious overpowering essence of death scent from their detergent, perfume, and I was extremely sleep deprived and they were very negligent and as a result, the breastfeeding was an uphill struggle.  


I'm in the process of writing a book about my painful journey experience and I promised myself that if I decide to have another child, hospitals do not exist in my world unless it's a life threatening emergency and because I'm very healthy and a wise Mama...there is no need for stupid hospitals...it's midwife, doula, home birth, or birthing center only!  Nothing was ever wrong with my breasts and they've always been full of wonderful breast milk but the stupid arrogant docs and staff insisted on trying to make me look like a freak rather than accept responsibility of their incompetence...I was trespassed on, violated, and reported to a child protection agency by a home visiting r.n. who was psycho and she made false claims that I was abusive and negligent and as a result...I was forced to temporarily move into the apartment of estranged relatives and I lost my privacy...I was still bfing somewhat, but my lo started teething and started squirming and toddling and went on strike and I felt very depressed every day and I lost my confidence and mental strength as a wise Mommy and self-doubt creeped in and my DH and I found another place to live and by then the teething was getting worse and worse and the bond between my baby and me was feeling weaker and I felt very discouraged...so I had no choice but to pump...we figured out that the psycho was unhappy with her divorce and her child and she fell in love with my baby and in her twisted way, secretly wanted to steal him from us...my dear sweet beloved Mother who was my best friend recently died this past Summer and that added to my grief and anguish heartbreak and my writing is what kept me going day to day...I've also been procrastinating about seeking a lawyer for what the hospital did to me...but I'm going to do it next week...there is more to share, but it's a long story and it's very painful to talk about it...it's been several months since I was able to breastfeed and now that he's a willful squirmy toddler, I'm not sure how to approach the bfing...it's not like I can hold him and cradle him like I did when he was much littler...he moves around a lot...wow, this whole situation has really depressed me and I'm having a very difficult time and it's taken much emotional and mental strength to take it 1 day a time and keep my head above water...my question is, once I'm able to get the latch right, how do I stick my breast in his mouth?  


He crawls some, but he walks a lot and runs and he squirms a lot and when I try to hold him, he looks all over the place and squirms and fusses and fights me and pushes me away...*sigh* thankfully, I did breastfeed him quite a bit and we have enjoyed a lovely sweet special bond connection and we still do, but it's changed and it's different and I don't know how to handle or cope with it.  Granted, my supply did diminish, which is also depressing me, but I'm taking supplements and hydrating and I'm a very healthy eater so there is still hope, but I don't know what to do and I really wish I could meet with someone, a friend, a consultant, someone to guide me and help me through this...I'd be so very happy and grateful to breastfeed him at least once twice or 3 times...I feel very lonely and I really need a kind caring friend...

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