MM - you sure have a lot of moving parts in your life! I admire your flexibility. DH and I having 15 years of doing everything our own way has really taken it's toll on my "roll-with-it" skills. I've got to get that back...
When we were first engaged, we moved to Los Angeles where DH's family is from (he got a job promotion that took us there). We lived in an interesting arrangement at his grandma's house. She had 2 houses on one large lot, connected by a breezeway. She lived alone in the smaller house (1bed, 1 bath, kitchen, living, everything a normal house has) and we lived in the big house (3 bed, 2 bath, etc) with his sister, her boyfriend (now husband) and also his divorced mother. We all paid rent to grandma.
DH had grown up in that house, but it had always been more like a big family apartment than a home where everybody lived together and interacted meaningfully. Everyone came and went with no regard to others, no meals were ever shared (nobody really cooked except me), groceries were separate, it was a keep-to-yourself setup. Such a strange way to grow up... I'm glad I saw it or it would be hard to believe.
Anyways, living with his family in that strange arrangement was so incredibly challenging at times. I had the nuclear family tight-knit picture-perfect upbringing, so it was a radical departure to see how detached they all were. Literally, even as kids, things like celebrating Christmas (getting a tree) were optional... if they happened to get around to it. Zero traditions, zero expectations.
It seems, though, like you are really incorporating your BIL/SIL/DN into your home and lives. How do you mesh all that? Your daughters and niece are probably having a good time with it, but I do wonder about the BIL/SIL especially since they were displaced from their home and an independent lifestyle. Sometimes living with another female can be a tough one too.
When we lived at my dad's last year (we were there to take care of him... cancer) my sister moved in too. We were only together there for a few months but she drove us bat sh** crazy. The most passive aggressive person ever - now THAT was a challenge.
I sincerely hope your situation is coming together nicely and that it leads to good ends (BIL job, off alcohol, etc). Kudos to you for giving so much!
On a separate note, the vomiting has arrived eh? Bummer. That must be a rough one. I'm luckily at zero on that score so far, although the nausea is fairly constant (unless I'm eating). Speaking of... it's snack time.