I've been looking into buying the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, but some of the reviews on the website made me second guess myself so I started looking into the Happiest Baby on the Block. Are either of those any good? Which is better? My main concerns with Jude right now are that he cries all night and sleeps all day, and I want to get him on a more regular sleeping schedule for both of us. And daddy. I could really use some suggestions! Preferably something that I could buy on NOOK, but if it's amazing recommend it even if I can't.
I have a one month old, what books must I read?
I never read Secrets of a Baby Whisperer, but I flipped through it one time and caught a couple of things that I really disagreed with. (For example, she discouraged extended breastfeeding by saying it moms were doing it for themselves and not the babies.)
I have heard "Happiest Baby on the Block" is excellent, but haven't read it myself.
For sleep issues, I usually recommend "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It's a great, gentle book. You could also check out any of Dr. Sears' books, like "The Baby Book" (overall general baby care book, addresses sleep issues) or specifically "The Baby Sleep Book" which goes more in depth.
But be gentle with yourself - your baby is very young still, and you are all still getting used to this new normal. Don't get too hung up on schedules and whatnot. Are you cosleeping? That might help with some of the night wakings.
If that's working well for your family, that's great! I had my DD1 in our room but on her own separate sleeping surface because that's how I felt the most comfortable at the time.
If it's not working for you, then both Dr. Sears and Elizabeth Pantley have chapters in their books about safe bedsharing. Actually, if you are cosleeping safely, then your risk of SIDS goes down because you are more in tune with your baby. I'm not saying you *need* to if your current setup is working, but I just wanted to mention that it's a valid option.
I don't tell my pediatrician that we cosleep.
I enjoyed The Happiest Baby on the Block but there is some controversy because of swaddling, and the issue with swaddling, at least as it is done in some countries, interfering with the babies cues for breastfeeding. I heard the author speak at a LLL conference, and he showed videos, and those were pretty amazing. I did try some of his techniques right away with my second child, who as born at home, but then seemed to have a rather fussy period right after birth. Her first few days of life seemed hard, and then she became a little slug of a baby who slept all the time.
Sucking is one of the 5 S's which is the one you always end up doing, but the two that I used in combination with each other to good effect was shaking and shhhhing. Shaking might actually be called swaying, I think, since shake sounds violent, and true shaking is not recommended. This is more like jiggling, and some use rocking, but I did more jiggling, with my baby lying on her side, gently jiggling her shoulder while producing a white noise Shhhhh sound. In the early days right after birth, I would use this to calm her when she was upset and couldn't seem to nurse effectively. I also used the sling a lot, and I tend to rock and bounce naturally anyway (I rock when I'm sitting in chairs), and she became a really sound sleeper, probably a little too sound for my comfort, but that might have just been her personality.
I agree with twentysixcats, your baby is very young and there isn't a whole lot you can do at this point except wait for him to mature. "This too shall pass" became my mantra at this age. At 4 months, my baby's sleeping got much better. That was after months of gradual progress. He started out going to sleep at 11pm and it slowly started getting earlier until he was going to bed around 7 at 12 weeks or so. Wearing him worked well to help him sleep also. At this stage, the big thing is teaching them the difference between daytime and nighttime. Make daytime exciting and lively, and make nighttime boring with low lights, low noise etc. so baby gets the message.