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January (!!!) Chat Thread - Page 3

post #41 of 208
DH and I have generally been sleeping together. He had a cold for a week that I didn't want to get so I slept on the couch then. I contemplated sleeping separately last night. I'm still pretty upset about our talk and don't really want to be around him. But I slept with him anyway. Sex OTOH is a joke and I don't for see it happening for many months.

My throat was really dry back when DS and I were passing colds back and forth, but it's been OK lately thank goodness. It would be so painful in the mornings.

And yes, please just complain iowaorganic. We're huge and sleep deprived and trying to keep up with lives that haven't slowed down. And pregnancy makes little things into huge things. That's just the truth.
post #42 of 208

@pamelaRRRR - I have used the nasal strips on occasion and they have helped me...if they stay stuck. I used them some when I had a head/chest cold for about 2 weeks. I have allergies year-round, but I'm sure it would be tougher to deal with being this far along in pregnancy during the spring.

 

 

Ditto to the lack of sleep! The tough part, as others said, is that I'm tired but cannot get to sleep when I do lie down. One night this past week, I was up every 30-60 minutes. Gah! I have dark circles under my eyes, stopped work this past week (I'm a homebirth midwife assistant), was told to just rest and not even cook my own meals. But, that's virtually impossible with a husband who needs to work and it's just the 2 of us in the household right now. Today I told my husband/partner that I felt like it was a matter of survival of the fittest, regarding us sitting around and taking it easy, doing less and waiting for baby. His response: "You have to realize these are our last moments of peace." Thanks, dear.

post #43 of 208

I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one complaining. LOL I lifted my 4 year old on NYE & put my back out severely, so I've been flat out ever since. My timing sucks! My MIL has been a tower of strength, helping to care for DD & keep things running, plus organising help to start getting ready for the move since I now can't do a blasted thing, plus helping me to the toilet a few times a day while hubby is at work. He is currently working 12 hour shifts which is a bit rough on all of us. Our chiro very kindly agreed to come out & treat me (as it's so severe) yesterday, he thinks I have injured a disk. Another bill we don't need but I really need to improve before doing things like having a spinal & a newborn. I badly do not want to be under general anesthetic while having my baby!  My mum arrives tomorrow and I am just so thankful she is coming. 10 more days until we meet "Bugsy"! 

post #44 of 208
pineapple?
Just wondering if anyone has previously or are trying the eating pineapple "trick" to soften uterus and induce labour naturally..I've tried almost everything in the book to "help a easier labour"
Now I just want to hold my little girl and be a mummy ...
Anyone had any experiance or luck with pineapple smile.gif
Xx
post #45 of 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by yummymummybump View Post

pineapple?
Just wondering if anyone has previously or are trying the eating pineapple "trick" to soften uterus and induce labour naturally..I've tried almost everything in the book to "help a easier labour"
Now I just want to hold my little girl and be a mummy ...
Anyone had any experiance or luck with pineapple smile.gif
Xx

Experience- yes.  Luck?  No.  Lol.  When I was sooo overdue with DD2 a year and a half ago I was at the grocery and there were pineapples on sale for like $1 each.  I bought 7.  Apparently it takes something like 20 million pineapples to do anything to help labor and not just make you sick :).  I had sores in my mouth from eating so much of it and the burn the rest of the way through.  The first one was extremely tasty though.  

 

However- that said.  I was reading in Sally Fallons'  baby book tonight that vitamin C cravings in the last month are really to build oxytocin levels for birth- so I would think that pineapple would fall into that beautifully as long as you don't expect a miracle!  

 

BTW- over the years I have tried absolutely everything except castor oil.  Babies come are on their own schedule and there isn't much we can do about it other than go with what the baby wants or send an eviction notice (which I did do once via induction and that was just as horrid).  

post #46 of 208
My sympathy to all who are struggling with pain/not sleeping/spousal lack of sympathy.... there's been more than all that than I would like this pregnancy!

As for natural methods of ripening/induction, for my last pregnancy I used a number of "preparatory" herbs, including (very, very small doses of) blue cohosh, motherwort and.... uhm... there were a few others, I can't remember now! My husband actually did most of the research and just starting putting a few drops in my water and I kind of freaked out when he told me it was blue cohosh, but I've since done the research myself and come to understand the various effects of different doses and timings. We only used it in the last week before my due date. And lo and behold, DD was born on her due date... but really, who knows.... :-)

This time is another story it seems. Although I have been doing UP/planning for UC, things are getting a little scary and I'm beginning heavy-duty herbal preparation for possible induction in a couple days. I noticed my amniotic fluid levels had dropped a bit over the last couple weeks (without any noticeable leakage) and frankly have just had this sense that the baby "wants out" over that time period, if that makes any sense.... the movements just feel less "playful" or "stretching" and more "I need to find the exit from here, and soon!" That combined with a rather belated response from the perinatologist I consulted with a month ago about a non-related issue (OY, people, there is a deadline here and you need to answer calls!) had persuaded me to get a complete ultrasound, which was yesterday. Well, my fluid levels were lower than even I realized and the placental function seems to be dropping, and the doctor basically came in and told me she strongly recommended I proceed directly to L&D for immediate induction. (Uhm, really?! With my three year old in tow and, like, don't even go home and get a bag or call my husband first?!)

Thankfully I have a good friend who is an OB and I called her immediately for her opinion... and she reassured me that although these were not good findings, there's a decent body of research showing both that fluid levels can be brought up in a matter of hours with massive hydration efforts and that induction at this stage of pregnancy does not necessarily improve outcomes. I was also offered a non-stress test (with the doctor warning me that if there were a lot of decels they would recommend immediate c-section, did I really want to do this? And I was like... well, shouldn't we know about it if there are? And it doesn't obligate me to go straight to a c-section even if there are, but if there aren't, wouldn't that be good? Not liking this lady!) which I decided to do, and I was happy to see that this looked good still... good variability, no decels... of course the doc who wanted to induce me immediately didn't seem to think this was anything to be happy about (gee, was she hoping to find more problems??) and was very curt when I told her I was going to go home and drink a bunch and rest and do some research (oh, and talk to my husband!).

Anyway, spent a few hours thinking/researching and at this point am pushing fluids and rest (except, uhm, fluids mean I have to pee, and peeing means I can't sleep.... but at least my feet are up!) and planning to go back for a repeat ultrasound to check fluid levels and non-stress test Monday morning. I feel comfortable with this right now, and can check the baby's heart rate myself periodically with my stethoscope. Oh, and as mentioned above, pushing some herbs to soften my cervix (blue and black cohosh, motherwort, evening primrose oil both internally and topically) because there is the possibility that Monday morning I will learn that I have not succeeded in bringing up my fluid levels and/or placental function has dropped more, at which point I would probably let them begin intervening.... and I would like to be as ready as possible for that.

Still undecided about what I would do if I go into labor before Monday, as there is a lot more stress on the baby/cord from contractions without adequate fluid cushioning it... might opt for hospital delivery or even just go and let them monitor baby for a while and possibly come home again if it seems to be tolerating labor well. Might just have to be a gut instinct thing if it comes to it... I've felt like this baby was going to come quickly for months now, and can't quite imagine driving to the hospital in labor let alone home again! But we will do what we have to do to take care of this little one... just wish it was easier to figure out what the best choices were sometimes...
post #47 of 208
Thread Starter 
🙏🙏🙏🙏 thinking about you both lily & Kitty!!!
post #48 of 208
Thread Starter 
39 weeks today aka "term" so am really really really hoping this emo n crappy way I am suddenly feeling ramps into something real! In the bathroom every 20 min, headache, mild cramps/backache going on and crying. Feeling so emo.
Uncomfortable in every seated or laying down position and standing gives me spearing crotch pains...whee!
Pisces Moon is phasing in as we speak and that would be awesome to share w my daughter as I have a Pisces moon...hear that baby? 😘
post #49 of 208

As for induction methods- I successfully induced myself (or hey, maybe it was all one big coincidence and I was going to have her that day anyway!) using methods described in Susun S. Weed's book Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year. (Specifically, I used the blue and black cohosh method 3 days after my EDD.) Although, the thing is, I would not recommend it. My DD was born "sunny side up"/occiput posterior, and I am pretty sure she engaged in my pelvis that way because my body wasn't quite ready to go into labor. It was intense, probably similar to using pitocin, and the back labor was pretty terrible. Labor also fizzled out once I arrived at the hospital and was no longer taking the concoction, so they broke my bag of waters and had me climb stairs for a few hours to get labor going again.

 

I have been eating a normal amount of pineapple, eating the 6 dates daily, have been having sex most days, and am drinking several mugs of red raspberry leaf tea per day, but that is as far as I am taking things into my own hands!

 

In other news- DD is home! There were several flights delays and she didn't even arrive until after 1 a.m. this morning, and I was contracting a lot at the airport. Still hoping my body will hold off several days to a week, if not more! I actually was so crazy about nesting and cleaning yesterday that I completed most of my to-do list in 6 hours, that I thought would take a week!

 

As for relationships with the husband- I am finding the opposite as some of you...I feel like I have some weird hero worship thing with the man lately. He could really do no wrong in my eyes. I think perhaps it is the difference between him and my DD's father, who was downright awful and not at all supportive. (He was also clueless and 23- to his credit, he has an almost 2 year old daughter now that I hear he is a great father to.) Regardless, I am glad for the cheery outlook towards DH. Our relationship is not always so lovely...we definitely have had our ups and downs, and I definitely have had periods of feeling major frustration with him. Hoping this bliss feeling lasts through labor!

 

Thinking of all of you! I am excited to hear about more LO arrivals!

post #50 of 208

It is so exciting, seeing these babies start to arrive! I feel like we are cheering eachother in through the finish line of a very long marathon. :D

post #51 of 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebekah7 View Post
 

@pamelaRRRR - I have used the nasal strips on occasion and they have helped me...if they stay stuck. I used them some when I had a head/chest cold for about 2 weeks. I have allergies year-round, but I'm sure it would be tougher to deal with being this far along in pregnancy during the spring.

 

 

Ditto to the lack of sleep! The tough part, as others said, is that I'm tired but cannot get to sleep when I do lie down. One night this past week, I was up every 30-60 minutes. Gah! I have dark circles under my eyes, stopped work this past week (I'm a homebirth midwife assistant), was told to just rest and not even cook my own meals. But, that's virtually impossible with a husband who needs to work and it's just the 2 of us in the household right now. Today I told my husband/partner that I felt like it was a matter of survival of the fittest, regarding us sitting around and taking it easy, doing less and waiting for baby. His response: "You have to realize these are our last moments of peace." Thanks, dear.


Yeah, last night I was up about every hour, I think. I have nights like that at least a couple times a week. Twice in the last month I've had a "good night," which means only waking up once--miracles. But more often than not, lately, it seems like I'm only napping at night--definitely not quality rest. Mind running on overdrive, weird dreams, waking up congested/snoring...the torture is, DD has been on a great sleep kick where she doesn't holler for us until after 8, but I'm still waking up early.

 

As for induction, I did hear about the date study but forgot about it for now. Last time w/DD my body showed no signs of going into labor any time soon. My doctor partially stripped membranes and DH and i had sex that night--went into labor the next day--but of course that's totally anecdotal. That was 2 days before due date. This time I don't know if I'm just more aware of my body or if more seems to be happening up front--I'm noticing increased discharge, some cramping, lots of braxton hicks and more pressure from baby's head. But I'm still not even 38 weeks so just trying not to get too excited.

 

Things are good between me and DH--I love him so much and he is so supportive--though I wish he showed a little more sensitivity to how physically restricted I"m feeling lately. We are supposed to have friends over for dinner tonight and the wife offered to cook, but DH was still like "OMG you have to figure out what you're going to make! We're the hosts! We can't let her do all the cooking!" (he doesn't cook) and I was so annoyed--it's like, I'm 9 months pregnant and she's OFFERING--DON"T PRESSURE ME! I'll feel good if I throw together a salad. It was so irritating.

 

We have only DTD twice since September. I feel kind of bad because I know we won't feel like it again for a while after the baby's born but I just haven't had much drive. The last time was a couple weeks ago and it was nice, but I got a massive leg cramp in the middle of orgasm--pregnancy problems. SOrry if that's TMI. And because it had been awhile there was some uncomfortable chafing and irritation that lasted like a week--oy. So I just don't know.


Edited by Blanca78 - 1/4/14 at 9:57am
post #52 of 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by iowaorganic View Post
 

Can I pout?  Just a little?  I can't sleep.  Baby keeps going posterior (it has been moved about 7 times so far and just keeps going back to posterior....) and is in my ribs.  They ache so bad that I wake up and cry.  There isn't really anything that I have found that helps other than just to get up.  So last night I had 2 hours of sleep.  I was so cranky and sore and tired that I finally just had a good cry and then went to the chiro which helped everything else.  Then food and then a 2 hour nap in which everyone decided was a great time to call/text.  Then supper and now the rib burn is back  greensad.gif  Maybe tonight I will just sit upright and watch movies....  I can't recline at all.  DH told me that the baby must be getting close with how cranky I have been lol.  Lets hope so.  

 

 

 

eta a little more.  My sister just got engaged at Christmas- their wedding is going to be in June most likely.  She invited me to go dress shopping in Des Moines on January 18th.  I want to go so bad.  But that is 100 miles away (normally not a big deal for me) but I can't take a newborn (assuming I have the baby by then) that far by myself.  When DD2 was a couple weeks old I took all 5 to see my grandpa in the hospital which was 120 miles away.  The trip took 5 freaking hours and there were plenty of tears shed by everyone.  So I know this is stupid to cry over.  But I am bummed regardless.  It is also the same day as my cousin's baby shower which is 200 miles away.  She worked on getting pregnant for 10 years and I really want to go to that too.  But obviously that is only worse.  It just sucks....  So I am pouting.  And then to find a decent dress for my sister's wedding... ugh.  One that is appropriate for a 33 yo mom of 6 who is breastfeeding and doesn't look amish or slutty.  Ugh.  maybe she should elope to save me of that torture lol.  Cause apparently it is all about me....  pathetic.  People have real problems.


Hey IowaOrganic--I used to live in Des Moines! (DH is from there). I don't blame you for being bummed out. I find it hard enough to travel with one--I can't imagine with five. But yeah, January 18th--probably not a good time to commit to a 100 mile trip, especially with this super wintery weather everyone's having. Is there any way to go later in the spring? Maybe just you and the baby? I don't blame you for feeling upset, but at the same time I think your sister's a little nuts for inviting you on something like that so close to your due date. If she doesn't have kids it probably just didn't occur to her that that would put you in a tough situation.

post #53 of 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neaera View Post
...As for relationships with the husband- I am finding the opposite as some of you...I feel like I have some weird hero worship thing with the man lately. He could really do no wrong in my eyes. I think perhaps it is the difference between him and my DD's father, who was downright awful and not at all supportive. (He was also clueless and 23- to his credit, he has an almost 2 year old daughter now that I hear he is a great father to.) Regardless, I am glad for the cheery outlook towards DH. Our relationship is not always so lovely...we definitely have had our ups and downs, and I definitely have had periods of feeling major frustration with him. Hoping this bliss feeling lasts through labor!...

 

 

It's interesting: I have sort or the same twinkle in my eye. My husband will just be sitting in the living room, and I feel like I fall in love with him all over again. :) It's like I'm gaga, a little teen. He's so charming to look at, seems more-so than ever.

 

Complete overshare ahead!

 

Buttttttt...we are having some hurdles. Things were going along smoothly up until about 30 weeks. And then there was an incident that led to emotional and physical disconnect, and the sweet tender moments and encouraging words from him are fewer and far between. It has shaken up our marriage. I am so very thankful that we both have agreed to go to couples therapy almost weekly over these past few months. But it really has shaken me a bit and taken a toll on me. I crave physical comfort: a hug, kiss, shoulder or back rub, cuddling when we head to bed. "Little" things." And those are slowly coming back into our relationship, though most of the time, I have to ask for them. Often times, I get turned down on the rubs/massages. I think the impact of us having this baby -- our first and one that he was ready for before I was ready -- and being newlyweds (got pregnant just a few months after getting married December 2012, though we had been together for many years prior) is hitting him harder than anticipated. Though I am regularly at births and attend them as my livelihood, we took a CBE class together, to learn and grow as a couple, to help him learn how he will be able to support me. I've questioned with this partial emotional and physical disconnect if I will have the support I need from him during labor. I've told him I want him there, I need him there, and one cannot just go from not touching their wife to full on massaging and rubbing and pressing on parts and places to relieve labor discomfort. You can't flip a switch like that. We are working on rebuilding the trust and honesty between us. I just never thought my 3rd trimester would be anything but completely filled with joy and excitement. Not f$%*(&ing marriage counseling.

And then I wonder how/if the birth of our baby will shift things. I mean, of course things will be changing. But is he still going to want to move out when our lease is up? Will he still go to therapy as a couple? Is he going to feel connected to our baby? Will I have the postpartum support I need? Will he feel differently about me, his wife, and working to strengthen our marriage and foundation as a new little family of 3?

 

Okay. Enough of making myself feel vulnerable. But, I guess that's why boards like this are here - to share and vent and express ourselves. Thanks for your "ears." :) Trying to keep looking toward the positive here.

post #54 of 208

rebekah, I worry about some of those things too. DH is not the sort to show physical affection easily, we snuggle but he isn't big on the back rubs or casual touches/hugging - it's that British stoicism at play I think?? Anyway, our birth class was helpful for him and me to get some ideas and practice some things that might come in handy but it's definitely something I worry about.  He is really eager to help and support, but so unsure of how to do it. I really hope that our doula will be helpful with that aspect of things.

 

I also really worry about what things will be like in our relationship after the baby is here. He doesn't do well without a routine and with uncertainty - and that is what those newborn weeks are filled with!!  We have been doing a lot of talking about what to expect and how to set things up in a way that will help him feel some stability and structure. But I am trying to build my own support network (postpartum doula, friends, MIL) in a way that will hopefully help me have resources available without making him feel like I don't trust that he will be there for us.  I also really want to support him to make sure he is getting what he needs to be present and bond with the baby too.

post #55 of 208
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyofjudah View Post

Still undecided about what I would do if I go into labor before Monday, as there is a lot more stress on the baby/cord from contractions without adequate fluid cushioning it... might opt for hospital delivery or even just go and let them monitor baby for a while and possibly come home again if it seems to be tolerating labor well. Might just have to be a gut instinct thing if it comes to it... I've felt like this baby was going to come quickly for months now, and can't quite imagine driving to the hospital in labor let alone home again! But we will do what we have to do to take care of this little one... just wish it was easier to figure out what the best choices were sometimes...

I have been thinking about you today. How are you feeling? I think that your concerns about adequate fluid/ cord are very valid and that you are wise to seek some "professional" help with monitoring. :Hug 

post #56 of 208
Thanks for the thoughts cparkly... isn't it wonderful, as others keep saying, that we have this little community to share our fears and frustrations and joys and questions and.... everything.

I've been feeling pretty good today, just resting and drinking as much as possible while doing a bit more research on what the next steps might be. Not feeling like I'm going to go into labor on my own in the next day - the cohoshes and primrose oil seem to perhaps be making things a bit softer down there, but no increase in contractions. (Husband wants to have wild sex all night, haha! Oh, and offered to get me some "organic porcine prostaglandins" from the farm if I preferred.... LOL, but you all know that's actually how they derive the pharmaceutical ones? From pig semen! [He does not actually seem to have a plan for catching said pig semen had I wanted to take him up on the offer!]) Anyway, no labor tonight or tomorrow is okay, because I was so ambivalent about going into labor at this point before another check on fluid levels and placental function. My fluid levels seem to my hands like they might be just a tad better, but it's hard to tell and probably still low... we'll find out Monday morning, and I guess I'll be bringing my bag to that appointment because if the numbers are worse, I'll probably let them induce me.

I'm glad I'm at least able to take a bit of time to adjust to the idea of a hospital birth and even induction - not something I ever wanted, but it's starting to look like it might be the best plan. And I have some time to do some positive thinking about induction, that my first labor went well, I've been doing what I can to soften my cervix, my odds should be favorable. Bracing myself to defend my choices as needed but hoping it won't be a problem. (I still want to catch my own baby, don't want the cord cut or any routine newborn stuff, etc...) Kind of funny that I used to teach childbirth education and help people formulate birth plans, but now that I'm faced with drawing up my own it seems so hard! Like, there are a lot of things I feel strongly about, but I don't want to piss everyone off and make them think I'm a difficult patient because I really do value the expertise we would be there for...
post #57 of 208
Lilyofjudah, I don't know where you live but here those things are standard - letting you or dh catch the baby, delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin contact and nursing, etc. Hopefully your hospital is similar? Good luck! I am so glad you are able to get the monitoring you need to feel comfortable with your delivery,
post #58 of 208
Lily, I've been thinking of you too. I'm sorry I wasn't abl to check in sooner. Are you doing self checks or did they check your cervix on Friday? Do you think an induction would be successful?

I'm glad that even though it's a far cry from a UC that you've been able to make peace with the idea. I think that's often the most important part of having a positive experience. And I wanted to second polyhymnia's experience so far. My hospital is very hands-off and natural birth friendly. They would encourage all of the newborn procedures but otherwise everything you listed is par for the course. And had I declined hep b last time I know they wouldn't have given me a hard time. So hopefully you will have a positive experience whether at home or in hospital.

Everyone else who posted today who is having a rough time physically or emotionally or otherwise, I'm thinking of you too. Hopefully I'll have more time to post tomorrow. Peaceful nights everyone.
post #59 of 208

Lily - Haven't read every one else's response (yet but please increase protein coupled with the hydration and some salt to make use of the fluid you are putting in. A labor type aid drink wouldn't be a bad idea at this point with the combo of salt, sugar and minerals.

 

With my first LO I was told I had low fluid a few times and one of the midwife articles that I pulled u talked about the importance of ramping up the protein to help with the levels.

 

I'm sorry for all the stress going on.

 

Edited to add one of the things I had read:  http://www.ribirth.net/docs/Amniotic%20Fluid%20Levels.pdf

 

Of course you do need to go with your gut. If the baby / your body is telling you that it's time that is very important. I just wanted to share my experience.


Edited by Catwmandu - 1/5/14 at 2:37am
post #60 of 208
Thanks again for all the support everyone... It's reassuring to keep hearing that hospitals are likely to honor our wishes - I've just heard too many horror stories that stuck with me, combined with my previous experience working with pregnant teens (but, they often didn't have any interest in any of these things, so didn't ask for them, also a different part of the country).

I'm focusing on keeping a positive attitude toward the possibility of induction, but honestly I don't know just how likely it would be to succeed... I think odds are my body would do fine (based on previous vaginal birth, soft if not dilated cervix (based on self check, I asked about a Bishop score and they weren't interested in evaluating it - grrrr), and being very close to my "due date") but concerned that the artificial stimulation of labor might be harder on a baby that may already be somewhat stressed, leading to a greater likelihood of a cesaerean. Which oddly enough, is yet another factor that actually makes me consider induction sooner rather than later, because if my fluid levels don't go up (it was really down there, AFI of 3.5 with only 2 out of 4 pockets measurable) and the placental function drops further, that progression means even more stress for baby than there would have been a couple days ago...... sigh. Obviously no one knows what the outcome is going to be for any one baby in particular, but I'm reassured that the research (thanks for the link catwmandu!) shows I'm making a reasonable decision to wait and recheck after hydrating. Still frustrated that this option was so disparaged at this particular hospital - I do have a few to choose from here, but this is where I've been going for my endocrinology care and they therefore have all my records and other doctors that know me... and actually a pretty good reputation in comparison to the other options. But the doctor's attitude was just so... "You're 39 weeks, there's no reason to stay pregnant any longer!" And yet, when I asked what the actual numbers were for the supposed increase in stillbirth she kept throwing at me, she couldn't come up with them, just reiterating that she strongly recommended induction. I'll hope for someone else on Monday...
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