In 2012 fall, my Stbx moved out. We have a 4DD
This person changed sexuality preference and joined dating sites immediately, moved in with some friends and I'm told became a heavy drug user.
We had a tough time at first. My stbx has been on numerous heavy duty medications since moving in with parents in spring of 2013 and has been seeing a therapist and psychiatrist who I'm told said this person has anxiety, depression, and PTSD from our marriage.
Things were going ok for the most part until thanksgiving when my stbx began "cutting" prior to my daughter and I arriving for dinner. Which prompted a 5 day psych ward visit voluntarily based on psychiatrists recommendation. Now I'm told I'm going to be accused of being responsible for all this - the drug use, cutting, and all other behaviors. There is no history of abuse, tro, physical, nothing other than what I'm told by my stbx and the parents.
I have 4 days a week with my DD. I'm an excellent parent. I'm not sure other than some emails written in anger but void of threats that could be used and my stbx parents who will say anything to validate the EA accusations. I can't imagine that someone self mutilating could be blamed on someone else. Or that PTSD is an excuse for this. We tried online parenting but my stbx stopped, I've been co parenting for the better part of 10 months with my Dd grandparents mostly because my stbx was too medicated to actually do it.
Now I'm moving for full custody (originally we had joint) until my stbx can pass a drug test and a letter saying my stbx is safe to be alone with my DD. this person has had quite a few relationships, endless dating, going out, and I've got evidence to that which to me doesn't seem like severe depression.
I've been late on some bills and like I said things were no fun for the first couple of months but the last 7 months have been OK.
Does anyone have any experience with emotional abuse accusations in custody court? I have continued to make it important to foster my DD relationship with both her parents. I'm guessing custody is about who is the better parent and my stbx wi psychiatric issues, a part time job, living with parents, and unable at times to even drive my Dd to school might speak to that? Isn't custody about parenting? If things were so bad and I was such a monster why would they agree to share time together during events and holidays? They said because I insisted on it.
Strategically it doesn't make sense to me to go to court and say you're emotionally unbalanced because of your spouse and then suggest you should have custody. I don't know, it's become toxic though. Their pitch is that I'm controlling and a bully. Meanwhile I continue to speak positively to my DD about her other parent even though she feels very much abandoned by that person in many ways and I had to struggle through bringing her over to their house this summer because my DD didn't want to go, but I insisted spending time with her whole family was important.
There has been a lot of time given up by my stbx for one thing or another: being sick, psych ward, trips out of town, or just passing on an event that was important to my child and so opted to have me bring my DD over after event even though it was on my stbx parenting time which I thought was nice
Any thoughts or opinions?