Originally Posted by sassyfirechick
Where is she getting this from - is there someone at school saying these things? Someone at home (probably not but you never know)? Does she feel out of control somewhere else in her life and is taking it out on others? Might be worth addressing or having a heart to heart about why she feels the need to lash out and make others feel bad because generally it's a reflections of something in our own lives.
I'm pretty sure it's from school. I coach a lot of the kids, and am pretty active with community stuff, so I get to watch them in their element, so to speak. And although they're only ten, the pre-teen attitude is REALLY kicking in for a lot of them. I'm shocked, sometimes, at the stuff these kid say to each other. I guess I should count myself lucky that she doesn't seem to be swearing...yet? I listen to the kids next door (their son is the same age as my daughter) and the things that he says to his mother. Wow. So I suppose technically she IS hearing it at home, echoing from the house next door? =/
We implemented the Convert Negative to Positive technique this week, and it has been an interesting experiment. I thought that making them say 10 nice/good/positive things might be a little overwhelming at first, while they got used to it. So if they make a negative comment (towards someone else, or about themselves) I make them say five positive things. My son seems to want to shoot out one super negative thing at the end, to be silly, so I make him say five more nice things. =P Haha. It has been fun, and has really lightened the mood when my daughter is in one of her growly states of mind. =P
And in the spirit of being fair, the kids call us out if we make a negative statement about something, as well, and we have to shoot out five nice things.
I just happened to attend a speech on optimism last night, and the speaker was talking about how optimism is learned, and that pessimism and negativity are habits that just need to be broken. So this technique really seems to mesh well with the things he was saying. I had to laugh, because he was talking about how if you're angry/upset, and force yourself to "fake" a smile, it sends a message to your brain that you are happy and will change your mood. I remember explaining this to my daughter only a couple of months ago when she was in one of these moods, and she totally thought I was making it up! I should have brought her with me, last night. =P