bedroom cleaning day SUCKS

[mamaduck]

Maybe twice a year I spend a couple hours "organizing" in the kid's bedrooms. I do spend 5 min. or so in there each day (with them) just trying to maintain it, but inevitably their rooms become over-run with trinkets and junk and papers and stuff, and eventually I can't even safely manuever the vacuum cleaner in their rooms and I just have to set aside time to do spring cleaning.

Today was that day. And it sucked big time.

There is just no way to accomplish a basic room cleaning without ending our day with everyone in tears. Neither of them is capable of dealing with it independently. Its much too overwhelming. If I give them control and just "assist" then nothing much really gets done because goodness knows we can't throw *anything* away (not even the cardboard *packaging* from the toys they got at Christmas!!!) and most of the time they don't even want things moved around, they don't want old toys to be consolidated or packed up to make room for newer ones. The just don't want things tampered with period, and the process becomes gruelling. On the other hand, if I tackle the job alone (even with permission) they walk in after I'm finished and burst into sobs and tears because its "different." My younger son especially, becomes undone when there are even small changes around the house.

I dunno. I'm just worn out and frustrated. Its done, the rooms are cleaner and saner. I know from experience that once they get used to things, they will rediscover the toys and games I've unearthed and organized in a constructive way, and they will be happy.... but right now, nobody is happy, and its been a gruelling day. Can anyone relate?

[Irishmommy]

I can only sort of relate. I do that kind of thing alone, it's a lot easier, both in speed and in dumping of stuff!!

But it's done now, you can relax.

[Aura_Kitten]

whoa.

nope. we're kind of just all cluttery packrats here (the only exception to this being my garden), although we *are* currently undertaking a major, uh, revision of the entire home. before the baby comes (OMG 10 weeks! ) we're going to move everything from the master bedroom out and turn it into the kids' room... then make the smaller bedroom into an office, and have our bed (futon), bassinet / car bed, and changing table in the living room.

which, obviously, entails a great deal of cleaning.

my son is excellent about putting away his toys in his toy boxes, but we've never gone through and actually sorted through his toys and gotten rid of any... 1) because we figured we'd be having another baby, 2) he plays with everything still, and 3) because i just don't have the heart.

i can understand the frustration and feeling of being overwhelmed by stuff that needs to get done. s

[mamaduck]

FYI, we didn't/wouldn't get rid of actual good toys. They *do* clean up their toys. Its just like party favor trinkets (crap) and art projects that have seen better days. That kind of junk just takes over, and if I don't know what to do with it, I can't really expect them to know what to do with it, so it piles up on their desks and in their closets until it takes over!

And I covertly put an entire 30 gal. bag packed full of stuffed animals they never touch in the attic!!! It was about 1/8th of the stuffed animals they have -- the portion of them they don't seem to care about. I'll give it a couple weeks to see if they notice, before I take them from the attick and drop them at goodwill.

[mamacrab]

Mamaduck, here's my thought- doing it WITH the kids makes you all unhappy and ending up in tears. DOing it WITHOUT them is upsetting too, but much more briefly. So, I would do it alone. It may seem disrespectful, but if it has to be done, the 2nd way really is the least upsetting for everyone.

[srain]

It depends on the kids' personalities, but my almost-4-year-old is old enough to understand the need for weeding (even though he doesn't like it). What we've done is put a bunch of clutter in a box, tell him "whatever you can fit on this shelf can stay," and let him replace what he reasonably can. We don't love the appearance of the results, but it's respectful and helps solve the problem. (We pack away the extras in boxes, rather than discarding it, which helps too.)

Reducing clutter before it comes in may help. I know folks who don't let their kids bring anything home without trading it for something of equal-size that's already there.

We've reduced artwork clutter by taking pictures of it before folding it away. (We'll often actually mail it to a relative to make it easier for him to pass it on- telling the relative they can recycle it immediately. )

Would more shelves/ drawers help? seems like your biggest issue is stuff on the floor- if more storage is provided off the floor, that could help solve the problem.

[moondiapers]

I do one bedroom about once a week. So each room gets done every other weekend. Party favors go in the trash after 2 or 3 days, packaging from gifts never even makes it into their rooms. It's gets recycled with the gift wrap. It's just always been that way and my kids don't even seem to notice.

-Heather

[mamaduck]

I have a budding artist though, who pulls things out of the trash he believes might someday be useful for a "project." Heh.

[momto l&a]

For my oldest I have found it easier for me to clean her room when dh has taken them somewhere. She comes back and notices it all nice and clean and
that really makes her happy. She doesn’t seem to notice all that missing, which really shocks me as she is so observant.


My dd takes all sorts of papers out of the trash for her paperwork she loves to do. I know by watching her, what’s pieces are her favorites and don’t throw them out but put them in her paper drawer.

I made the mistake once on having her help me clean out her room : wont be doing that for awhile!


I let them play with whatever they want but when they loose interest out it goes. We have had gift bags last along time around here :LOL

[Monica]

"I have a budding artist though, who pulls things out of the trash he believes might someday be useful for a "project." Heh."


ha ha ha mamaduck! I have the same problem myself. I save everything I think might be an art project someday. I was really upset when dh made me throw away 20 tp rolls I had been saving before we moved. Anyway, dh solved the problem. (at least he thinks he did ) His solution was to buy me 4 plastic totes at Target, whatever fits in them, I can keep. When they are full, I have to throw something out if I want to add something. Maybe this would work in your house. Though I find myself, deciding it is craft time when I can't fit any more into my totes. I guess the good thing is my kids don't seem to notice when art goes missing. Usually goes from display, to hiding on the top shelf of my closet. If no one asks for it and it is not something I am going to save for their scrapbooks, after a few weeks I get rid of it. junk toys, I just gather up as I see them left lying around and throw them all in a box high on a shelf in my utility room. No one has ever asked for them and they will all go to goodwill or yard sale someday.

[sunnmama]

Well, I recommend a bribe :LOL
Something pretty amazing happened here yesterday. I was preparing for our yard-sale this weekend, and tackling dd's room (with her with me....). I really want to get rid of "junky" toys/stuffed animals, but am willing to replace some with better quality toys. So I broke out the Magic Cabin catalog, sat down next to dd, and said "pick something". She chose a $60 mermaid doll--that will probably be our total profits for the whole sale, but I don't care! You should of seen the huge pile of things she chose to sell to pay for the mermaid!!!!! Those items are out of her room, and she is completely comfortable with the change. She is also preparing to check the mail daily for her mermaid.

Now--her reaction on Saturday when her precious items are set out for sale will be another challenge, but I am hoping that dh just keeps her super busy and distracted (I won't be home). Everything that does not sell goes straight to the thrift!

[MamaMonica]

I have a budding artist, too. Talk about trashing a room! I was like that as a kid and drove my mother nuts- she was constantly throwing my rock collection out, too- and now I'm in the same position and I can't take the mess.

Fortunately dd doesn't miss a lot if I "shovel" it up when she's out- it is mostly art projects. I sometimes wonder if non-artistic kids make less mess.

[FullCream]

I have a pack-rat/magpie for a daughter. She LOVES collecting stuff: feathers, leaves, seeds and nuts, buttons, ribbons, bits of grass, fluff, plastic bread ties, rocks, sand, shells...All of which would be fine if she showed a little discernment in her collecting. But she doesn't - she just collects stuff even if it's damaged, dirty or otherwise nasty looking. She's also artistic and collects little bits of paper etc for later. The fact that she was the only grandchild for so long hasn't helped the clutter - she's got so many toys. And they're good toys and she plays with them all. But gee wizz. It's so hard to keep her room tidy. And she's very resistant to getting rid of anything (including packaging!). I sympathise. Deeply.

[Sofiamomma]

Uh huh! Been there, done that! And I thought I had it all figured out, too. Her birthday is a few days before Christmas, so every December we do "out with old to make room for the new." She liked the idea of giving things to people who do not have as much as we do. Then she turned seven. . . . Seriously, though she had a *much* harder time this past year. Crying and crying. She finally picked *one* toy, this ancient stuffed, threadbare frog she *never* played with! I had it in a bag to go to SA, and a few days later she was crying and crying and asking for it back. I told her it was in the car and I'd get it later. Well, a few months later I figured she'd forgotten about it, so I dropped it off. That *same* day she asked for it again! I still haven't told her the poor froggie's fate!

I have been able to pawn a lot of the art off on a friend who is an elementary school art teacher. She likes getting the ideas and Sophia is very proud to contribute! I told my friend it was okay if they don't find their way back here. Bwa ha ha ha!

But guess what?! Just last night she voluntarily recycled a rather large (think recycled pizza boxes, and paper towel tubes) art project that was taking too much room on her desk.

She is a collector. I limit her rock collection to the prettiest ones. The other ones have to go outside to help "decorate the garden." My brother bought her some pretty glass vases to display her rocks and seashells in. They sit nicely on her bookshelf and that has really helped. She also has lots of containers to put things in. And I have some Rubbermaid totes to keep special things in. I've also framed some artwork and I think that helps. I'm betting you already do that, though.

We do daily maintenance, too. That makes a huge difference. I have pretty good luck getting rid of the crap surreptitiously, but it is the big stuff that needs winnowing that I have the most trouble with. So, I sympathize with you!

I love the idea of choosing something from a catalog to buy with garage sale money!! I will try that!