or Connect
Mothering › Groups › February 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › Scared of Hospitals and CPS threat

Scared of Hospitals and CPS threat

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

Hey fellow due daters :) I am 33 weeks pregnant and still have no idea how I am giving birth. I was attending regular prenatal checkups with a local practitioner. During my prenatal care, I confessed that I had taken illegal substances before I knew I was pregnant. I wanted to be honest with the doctors so that they could look for any potential damage I may have caused. I had just quit smoking marijuana when they first tested my urine. Little did I know, they tested my urine again only 14 days later. I was not yet clear of pot from my system. They told me that CPS will be contacted and that my baby will be tested for drugs when he is born.

 

While doing research, I heard that if they test his meconium(?) it could show marijuana in his system from about five months pregnant. I quit smoking pot at about five or six months pregnant. I was pretty far into my pregnancy when I found out.

 

I am very skeptical of hospitals, almost to the point of fear, so I do plan on having a homebirth. Unfortunately my insurance will not cover a midwife, and I cannot afford one by myself. My only option is to either risk hospital interference and CPS involvement in my life or an unassisted homebirth. I suppose I'm a crazy skeptic... but I do not trust hospitals or the CPS. While they may have good intentions, the CPS has ruined so many lives and families. I'm not sure if that's a risk I want to take.

 

This is my first child. I don't know what to do or what other options I am not aware of. Does anybody have any advice?

post #2 of 13

Even with an unassisted home birth, you are already on their radar.  Doing that will just give them more cause to worry about your judgement.  Honestly, speaking from quite a bit of experience with CPS, I really think you will be fine.  It takes REALLY extreme circumstances for them to remove a child from his/her home.  You were honest.  You have stopped the concerning behavior.  Yes, you hear horror stories, but I really really think what you are looking at is nothing more than continued testing and home visits for a while.  As long as you don't start using again, you will be fine.

post #3 of 13

You can contact an attorney and probably should. I am under threat from CPS visiting me as well but that is because I am refusing any and all newborn vax and eye drops and such. I have a letter drafted from my atorney that unless they have a warrant from the police they can make an appointment with my attorney and I will not speak with them. I have had horrible experiences in Tx with CPS thinking they are parenting Gods and I refuse to be bullied by them. Your only hope at this time is that you get an attorney on your side to advise you of your rights immediately.

post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 

Would moving to a different state help my situation any? We have been talking about moving for a while... now might be the time?

post #5 of 13

Again I am familiar with CPS laws in Texas after extensive reading and meeting with attorneys. Every state will be different so again I suggest an attorney.

post #6 of 13
Moving might help. We have had to deal with them in two (far away) states. I'm not sure they communicate much with one another, or maybe they really are just that reluctant to take action. Anyway, I again would not freak out too much. In our house, beause of my husband's ex, we are very used to talking with CPS, police, etc. Last time an officer showed up we were just, "oh hi, we know why you are here. Come on in. What are the details this time." They really are not out to get people, and believe that keeping the child in the home is best- to a fault. My step kids continue to be severely emotionally abused by their mom, and CPS is involved, but still won't send them to live with us, where everyone has admitted the kids are safe and happy.

You could always call them up anonymously and ask about your situation, or "your friend." Remember, they are severely overloaded, and are focusig on the kids who's parents are shoving cocaine up their nose and putting out cigarettes on their faces. Also, they really are generally good people who are trying to do what is best for children. It may not always be what we would do, but they aren't "out to take everyone's kids." They just want to make sure your baby is safe.
post #7 of 13

@mattie426 I am glad where you are you have had positive interaction however that was not the case. I was investigated because I was breastfeeding past a year... Yep those were the details of the case and yes it took 90 days and endless phone calls notes from doctors and bullshit to close the case it was invasive horrible and more over a freaking waste of tax payer dollars. I refuse to deal with any government entity that would investigate a mother for breastfeeding

post #8 of 13
That's crazy! It must vary depending on where you live. Around here breastfeeding is a lot more normalized than other parts of the country. Heck, our major city even allows women to just go topless if they want.

OP- maybe ask around in your area about people's experiences.
post #9 of 13

Ya CPS is very dependent on the area. In ours they side eye anyone who is doing the AP or natural parenting thing. Hence why I urged OP to contact an attorney!

post #10 of 13
Interesting, it's the opposite here. You can get reported by a stranger for raising your voice. DH was once investigated for an offhand remark about duct taping SD to her carseat. The kind of thing people say as a joke when they are frustrated. Didn't help that his ex had/has made nearly constant false reports of abuse, and that was a when she was just getting going with the pattern. Could have been her who called, idk. Do you think it is a difference in the depatments, a difference in what people report (they can't ignore reports), or a combination?
post #11 of 13

State law has a lot to do with what meets the "level" of reporting. However things like "neglect" are not clearly defined by any department that way they can use that to investigate anyone at any time it expands their reach. They are good in my area however about repeated false reporting. The worker confided in me that they track the phone number and record every call even if it is anonymous. So if someone keeps getting reported on like say in a custody disbute they will run the tapes and see if there is pattern and they will actually prosecute. I found out who reported on me and I knew she planned to do it again with another false report I told her I would take her to civil court for not only my own lost time but for libel as well. My civil case could then be used to prosecute her criminally. Miraculously she shut the F up and stopped filing false reports. In my area they are required to investigate any and all claims of abuse even if they can't substantiate a child actually dwells with or resides with the accused party. In my family violence and social work courses in school 75% of reported cases are of this nature just BS someone just getting back at someone else. Its sad because some of the CPS workers may actually have had time to look in to serious cases if they werent so tied up with BS cases.

post #12 of 13
Definitely call a lawyer right away.

Moving states might help.

There is no way in hell I'd assume all will be fine if you smile and cooperate. I work in this area and have seen too many ridiculous cases where babies are removed or families disturbed by highly intrusive social working. There is no way I'd cross my fingers and hope for the best.

If you're moving anyway why not go a not further to Amsterdam? Doubt they'd have a problem with your pot use there.

You are learning the hard way that becoming a mother drastically reduces your right to privacy. From now on dont say sh*t to any officials unless you are fully prepared to deal with the consequences.

So sorry you have to go through this.

Talk to a lawyer!!
post #13 of 13

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have read many studies about marijuana being safe in pregnancy, so please don't beat yourself up about that part...though CPS would disagree with the findings I'm sure...

 

Are you positive home birth with a midwife is out of the question? Have you spoken to any local midwives about your situation? I ask because I am dirt poor and used my last retirement account to pay for my midwife (mine isn't covered either). If I didn't have that option, I would have asked her if I could pay her with my tax return (though it would have been late). You might be surprised--a midwife might offer a sliding scale or a payment plan that could work for you. I would be cautious with a hospital, just because they are already on high alert.

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: February 2014 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › February 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › Scared of Hospitals and CPS threat