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How Do I handle kindergarten bus incident? - Page 3

post #41 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmum35 View Post
 

Thanks.. that really made me feel better.  It hasn't been brought up again, and things have been ok on bus for past few days so hopefully its forgotten. I can't even remember how I had replied to that when he said I must have told someone, so maybe I was jumping to conclusion. He might have figured it out but maybe I didn't say.. lots of good advice here, thank you!

chances are it was all you (and that's OK :wink) but you can (if it comes up again) remind him that other too can say things about his behavior - other children can be frightened and tell their teacher or parents, etc. about it - some might not know it's play and can interpret it totally differently!

post #42 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
 

 

Your description is pretty much my daughter's exact experience on the bus.  When it comes down to one kid's word against the other, the kid who is smart enough to cry first and act hurt is probably not going to get in trouble.  I had a similar situation on the bus when I was a kid and I was the one who got in trouble.  My seatmate would demand my homework every morning.  I would say no, she would cry that I was mean, I would get in trouble for being mean.  No one investigated further because adults who deal with a load of kids in a day are really not that interested. It's easiest to just punish someone and move on.

I would be appalled if that happened at our school. In your situation, couldn't you have explained your version of what happened?

post #43 of 44

It certainly didn't feel that way at the time.  Frankly, it was the 70s and not many people cared about children and our feelings.  I can remember some things said to me, an overall quiet, well-behaved student, and I'd be LIVID if someone talked to my child that way. 

 

But the point is, if a kid learns to pick out students who are easily flustered or don't like to break rules and make scenes, they can pretty much do what they want.  As it stands, my own daughter has a reputation with adults who know her as very truthful and strictly (I think the word "neurotically" has come up a few times) worried about fairness - to herself and others.  At this point in the year, if the same thing happened, the bus driver would believe her.  The girl's mom has been really helpful, too. 

 

It's easy to say stand up for yourself, tell someone!  Tell that kid NO and walk away - but often the people you need to tell are busy (driving the bus) or uninterested (line cutting and shoving isn't such a big deal when that kid over there is having a full blown melt down and spitting), the kid doesn't CARE if you say no, and your exits are blocked.  That's what parents are for.

 

Also some kids are just kind of mean when left to their own devices.  They need an adult to step in and put a stop to it because they either are unwilling or unable to stop themselves.

 

I am making her school sound awful when it's really pretty great.  For the most part, they stay on top of things but we had a huge influx of kids in the past few years and class size is up.  The school is full. Sometimes things that don't seem like a big deal from an adult perspective are just kind of swept along and sometimes I need to write a teacher and say hey, this is happening, we need some help here - and they help the kids work it out.  It's not perfect but it's so much better than the lord of the flies approach my own elementary school allowed (private Christian school, at that).

post #44 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
 

 Sometimes things that don't seem like a big deal from an adult perspective are just kind of swept along and sometimes I need to write a teacher and say hey, this is happening, we need some help here - and they help the kids work it out.  It's not perfect but it's so much better than the lord of the flies approach my own elementary school allowed (private Christian school, at that).

Yes, i agree. Its my job first and foremost to look out for my kid.

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