I have an 8 year daughter who is now a 3rd grader and she is my only child. She is not a fast learner as I would hope she’d be, nevertheless; she is very smart, incredibly creative, and funny. She started daycare at a Christian school and went up to kindergarten and she was doing great.
Her first and second year at a public school were not excellent, but her report card were good and never had any issues with her teachers. I volunteered often in her class room and she really enjoyed having me there. Now, 3rd grade is different! I’ve been getting this “missing or late assignments” from her teacher and after 5 she gets a citation. After bringing it up to my daughter’s attention she started say she was not smart enough. I asked her what was going on at school that she is getting the missing/late assignments. I know she turns in her homework, but then I found out that when the teacher gives the class some type of assignment she is not completing it. I emailed her teacher to see what I could do to help my daughter. Since my daughter is from a different district, my concern is that her “interdistrict” transfer would be denied the following academic year to give priority to the district children.
I meet with the teacher who told me everything that was wrong with my daughter, she was short of calling her “stupid.” I was speechless and felt I had failed my daughter as her parent. After telling me that most of the time my daughter is in “lala land” she suggested I get her tested for ADD. I was shocked, speechless, and angry, but I remained quiet as I don't want to harm my child. I then made an appointment with her pediatrician who was observing her and told me she seemed like a normal child, but her school Psychologist would need to assess her. The other day without warning I got a letter from the school Psychologist stating she went to my daughter’s class to observe her behavior and sent me a letter with her observations. Her observations did not seem out of the ordinary and she didn’t say she needed some type of intervention. She only suggested that I show the letter to her pediatrician.
I consulted a friend of mine who has a Masters in Child Development and is working as a teacher’s aide at a public school and I think I felt even worst after what she told me. She said that teachers don’t care and all they care is to bring up the numbers for their district and that my daughter was probably not making her look good. She said my daughter V is just a number to her and means nothing to her so, yes she wants to make sure your daughter gets tested so she can be on medication. She also told me that my wanting to know what was going on with my daughter at school might have put the teacher on check or she felt questioned by me and that she might take it out on my daughter. I am disheartened and I don’t want to label my daughter and have that follow her the rest of her life, and I refuse to medicate her.
Every morning I tell her how much I lover, how proud I am of her and that I love her just the way she is. She always give me a big smile and tells me that same words to me. Not sure what to do at this point, but to keep positively reinforcing my daughter making sure she completes her work.