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Is this a normal request from midwives? - Page 2

post #21 of 32
Yep. My midwife wants me to stay home and recover for first 10-14 days. Nothing strenuous - no stairs even. I am birthing in the sitting room outside our bedroom. I've got a mini kitchen set up (fridge/microwave/kettle) with food and tea to eat pp so I don't need to leave the floor. Midwife will do home visits to check on baby and I.
post #22 of 32

our midwives recommended it too. They also did home visits for the first two weeks, and didn't hand over care to our GP until six weeks.

post #23 of 32

Echoing what the others said, yes recommendations for as much rest as possible is a stardard of midwifery care and they should be doing several postpartum and newborn checks on you and babe. However, if you want to establish care with your child's doctor, certainly feel free to do that whenever you are ready.


With an OB they don't do any care for the baby once birth happens so it is expected that you will need to follow up right away with a doc. Our family doc told me 2 weeks was a good time with my last one, but I ended up going after two days because she had some slight jaundice and was not peeing. (ETA: She was my only planned hospital birth baby so no midwifery care.)

post #24 of 32

With my first I was able to take it easy for a while, but I haven't been able to with my next two because I had to care for the others (and my spacings were 23 months and 23 months so I still had needy toddlers when I delivered- this spacing will be 27 months so I will have a 6, 4, and 2 year old). With my first I bled for 10 days and then had very light lochia. With my second two I bled for a LOT longer and was still spotting at 6 weeks. But you do what you have to do, right? Like this time again my husband won't be able to take any time off so I will put my newblett in the ring sling and try and go about my day while cutting corners and sitting down as much as I can. But my toddler will still need diaper changes and I will have to lift in and out of high chair and crib. hopefully she will be willing to walk up the stairs on her own for bed and naptimes! but at 27 months, I'm not sure! kids will need baths and help dressing. my older kids will need me to make their meals and snacks and sit outside with them while they play. there is no way I can spend a day in bed!

post #25 of 32

tapioca, this kind of scares me, since in those first days after each baby my condition would go from fine to needing help badly or being useless in minutes sometimes, suddenly weak and starving, from happy to crying or not thinking straight, pretty much passing out sleeping over and over again, suddenly bleeding heavy when I was only spotting mostly, things like that. And it was just normal healing and recovery. If you can have family or friends check on you several times a day, come help with your kids, do the chores, anything at all, I hope you do. Have abundant snacks and drinks handy for you and the kids, little to no prep stuff and disposable dishes, keep them contained with toys, books, screens, easy crafts where you won't have to chase them, and change and feed them on the floor/bed/couch instead of lifting them. Skip baths and just wipe them off when messy for a few days or save it for dad at the end of the day.

post #26 of 32

Yeah, have dad do baths or don't do them (or just do every few days and wipe faces and hands in between, how dirty do toddlers really get around the seams?) Change the toddler on the floor. Forget the high chair and let them eat grapes and crackers and cheese sticks from a bowl on the coffee table or other table at suitable height while standing. If at all possible, get the toddler in a toddler bed before the new baby is born, and then they can climb in on their own. 

post #27 of 32

It's an odd request for sure, but they're right. You should be focusing on resting, healing and bonding, rather than being here, there and everywhere.

post #28 of 32

Honestly, I wish that someone would have said this.  My baby was born 7 years ago.  I left the hospital exactly 48 hours after my C-section.  I was exhausted, in pain, and it was evening (icing and snowing also, mind you).  I wish I would have stayed one more night, and used the nursery.  I also wish I wouldn't have been so concerned about coming home and getting the housework done.  I was in the middle of refinancing the house, and when I got home from the hospital, the checks were there, so I sat down, and paid all of the bills.  My baby slept soundly in his car seat.  Then I spent a ton of time playing with my dogs, who had not had a whole lot of human interaction while I was in the hospital.  The next day, my in-laws from Indiana came to stay with me.  I was expected to be up and around, and hosting them, including cooking and doing dishes.  (They even told me once that they were bored.)  They left, and two days later, I had all of the flooring in the house replaced.  I was up, talking to the contractors, etc., with my baby in my arms.  So, what happened?  I ended up with Bell's Palsey (which the doctors contributed to the stress that I went through right after giving birth).   I also ended up with an infected C-section incision.  Not sure that was totally related, but I know it would have been so much better if I would have been resting and spending time with my baby.  Oh, and I had NO breast milk.  None.  Not a drop.  While I haven't heard this as a normal request, I wish to God that I would have had someone tell me this. I wish I would have spent more time in bed, less time doing household "stuff," entertaining my in-laws, etc.  If I could do it all over again, I would change so many things.   

post #29 of 32

I'd say it's a pretty normal request, and it's for your own (and your baby's) benefit. Also, some midwives purposely say things like this in front of your partner so that your partner knows beyond a shadow of a doubt how important it is to take care of you and let you rest, instead of thinking you're just being lazy and acting like a princess. Hopefully, no woman who has just given birth would be in an situation like that, but most midwives have seen enough of the good, the bad, and the ugly to know that not every woman automatically receives the physical and emotional support she needs after birth.


Even if you're feeling great soon after birth, you still owe it to yourself to rest absolutely as much as possible. From my own experience, even though my husband is very supportive and helpful, I still repeatedly came down with mild-to-severe mastitis for months after the birth of my third child, and it was always triggered by stress or trying to do too much. 

post #30 of 32
Yes! I am so grateful to my strong willed midwife for making it clear to not only me, but everyone around me that this was an absolutely necessary practice. She even threatened to extend that time if she did not like how I was recovering. She liked to remind us that I had a wound in my body the size of that placenta she will show you Soccer ball or so. Wouldn't you allow yourself time to heal if that wound were on the outside? Do it and soak it up. It does get trying at times to have people do everything for you, because there is no way they will do it all right, but it is one of the many opportunities in the parenting journey to learn to let it go. Enjoy!
post #31 of 32
I had a normal birth with baby #1. He was nursing fine, smiling and we went to the ped. Visit the midwives here made sound mandatory on day 2. It was a nasty spiral into more visits, coerced formula supplementation, nipple confusion/breast refusal, etc....

Ever since I beg moms to be not to take healthy babies in until after the first two weeks. It's amazing my thirds had his first ped. visit at 2 months. He'd gained only 1# from birth (3 inches and I was dealing with his food intolerances) and no one cared!

I guarantee if I'd brought him in those first 2 weeks it would have been more of the crazy spiral with #1. Especially, since in retrospect #3s slow to clear meconium was actually digested blood while I figured out his sensitivities. And I doubt the doctors would have been helpful figuring those out since they still generally aren't over two years later.

Especially if the midwives are coming to do postpartum checks at your house I would avoid any weight checks.
post #32 of 32

I don't know, finding weight gain trouble might be helpful if the person working with you has ideas besides "OMG you can't do this they are failing to thrive just give them formula or else!" Finding and fixing dietary sensitivities, latch troubles, jaundiced lethargy, tongue tie, babies not getting enough because mom is scheduling them, genuine undersupply, etc could really help make sure baby thrives if it's done patiently and as a team with mom.

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