Help not sure what is going on with my 6yr old boy
Have you requested an eval from the school? You can request one in writing, in a real letter with a date and a signature, and they have to evaluate.
Have you been able to figure out what any of his triggers are for melting down?
One idea is to have a way for him to release strong feelings in a controlled way, such as a punching bag.
Edited by adaut - 1/15/14 at 5:25pm
What do the doctors say about meth and its effects . . . and then the withdrawal? There has to be info out there. Is there a clinic nearby or docs to specialize in substance recovery? You may need to see docs who has experience in this area. It is an unfortunate truth that your son is not the only baby who has been given meth. Hopefully you will hear from people with experience.
I agree with OrmEmbar's suggestion, I'd also consider contacting hospitals with NICUs as they likely have experience specifically with infants who've been effected by meth. I'd also look into research centers and universities that are doing studies on meth. Even if no one there can help you, they should be able to point you in the right direction.
I think universities would be a good place to go. If you're willing to let someone do a case study or something on your child, you could likely find a professor or student who would want to do the research to figure out what's going on with your son at no cost to you because they'll be getting something out of it. The case study should be completely anonymous and may help someone in the future who goes through the same thing. There are people in my school who are interested in how drug use during pregnancy effects infants, I'm sure that you can find students or professors who would want to study that. I can understand if you're uncomfortable with this idea, though, it can be very invasive to have such personal information made public, even if your names are left off.
This will likely be an incredibly difficult and heartwrenching journey for you and your family. It's horrific that your ex did that to your son. I hope that you're able to find the help your son and your family needs.
It sounds like you need someone more specialized than a pediatrician. I would take him to see a child psychiatrist and/or a pediatric neurologist and/or a child development clinic of some kind and seek a developmental evaluation.
Also, if he doesn't have an IEP right now I would strongly encourage you to get one put into place immediately. Don't wait to see a specialist--you should be able to get one based on his behavior. And you can request that it be adjusted at any time based on a new diagnosis, even if that means 2 days later you are requesting changes. You have that right. Being recognized with an disability in an IEP changes how the school must treat him for any behavior that is potentially related to the IEP, including suspensions. For example, it may limit how long he can legally be suspended without the school providing certain services to him.
If your state has an educational ombundsman's office for students with disabilities, I would also call them and speak to them about your particular situation. The fact that they have delayed the evaluation strikes me as counterproductive, and I would question whether it is legal to do so based on a suspension. Typically, the law requires that an evaluation be performed within a certain time after they receive your written request (so make a written request right now if you haven't already); usually 30 calendar or 30 school days, and I don't recall there being a provision that they could extend that timeline due to a suspension.