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The Saner TTC and Graduates -- Wolf Moon - Page 8

post #141 of 429
Thread Starter 
Mamablue - Wonderful to hear that your appt went well. When does a fetascope start to work? I'm familiar with the device, but have never used one myself.

Loved "man flu." So true and so frustrating. I have retired to my bedroom for the night. I told DH he needs to take DD to daycare tomorrow, and he snapped at me. We sort of got into it, I tried to stay cool, explaining that I was frustrated because this had been going on all week and I felt unwell and tired all of the time. He said, "I think there's a difference between not feeling well and being sick." Aaaaaand that was enough for me. I'm going to sleep and work this off. And I swear this is the end of my cranky marital play-by-play for tonight.

I have to read, like, so much Chaucer in the next two days. It may be time for Cliffnotes.
post #142 of 429
I haven't read the recent posts so i hope everyone is well. Popping in to say we got good news at my first ultrasound! 11 weeks, 2 days. Measuring just right, very active and perfect heartbeat! My husband and i are in awe. Today is my birthday and I'm so happy. I'll catch up here tomorrow. Right now i need to eat cake.
post #143 of 429
Primal - I'm not sure on the fetascope. My midwife has one in her office and she's used it with my other babies, but she said it was way too early for today. Maybe next month she'll give it a whirl. For now I just really want this babe's kicky action to be more noticeable. That would do me a world of wonderful.

Lovely - Yay for the awesome doctors appointment and happy bean! A great reason to celebrate.
post #144 of 429
Mama blue- great news on your little shy guy! I'm so pleased he is growing nicely. Relax and enjoy (as much as possible!).

Faith- great news on your appointment too. I'm so pleased we get to hear the news through your pregnancy, great stuff! And happy birthday.

Primal- honestly, men. As much as we love them, and we all do, they think we are their mothers!! We want a 50:50 relationship, or even 60:40 and they think 10:90 is ok. He needs to recalibrate and raise his pain threshold! Stick to your guns and hold him to it. You are mrs amazing at the best of times holding very thing together, when you are also baking a baby he needs to get back in the game quickly. It's not like you haven't been sympathetic or let him rest, now he needs to move on. It is difficult working from home if you don't have your own space to avoid everyone. Do you have mobile broadband so you could go work in a coffee shop and be physically out for a while? My DH tends to do that when I am annoying him!!!

Over here I was a hormone mess last night, really sad and vulnerable. I told my DH how bad I was feeing and he just said, do you want a cuddle on the sofa? I said yes and burst into tears. He just sat and held me for an hour. Ugh, ladies, I swear u have gone loopy!! This is sooo not like me at all!! We had a talk about our options. The next consultant appointment is end of March when I have done three rounds of clomid, so u think we might try a round of IVF. Over here you get one round for free on our public healthcare system, so I want to try it before I get any older (I'm 37 in May). It's a tough decision though. DH is very hopeful about clomid and not so much about IVF. He's sad that it would come to that- I think I went through those emotions when I started clomid.

Anyway, hi to everyone else. Hope the end of the week is looking good for you xx
post #145 of 429
Hi ladies- hugs on the meds and side effects and hormonal loopiness!!! I totally get it!

Primal congrats on a healthy baby boy!!! That is amazing and awesome news. Sorry that you are carrying the weight and big hugs.....hope hubby realizes that you need your rest right now.

I am rushing because I quickly read through the posts. I have had a busy week. I also just got the bill for my D&C and it is $2,000! I was floored. I had no idea it cost that much. I guess I should have asked first. I probably would have tried going through it first at home....but of course that would have been even more traumatic and would have happened around Christmas Day. I had the procedure on the 18th......oh my.....I am just spinning. $2,000 is almost what our maternity co-pay would have been for a newborn....except I have a hole in my heart and no baby.

Sorry I won't complain anymore.....I know many have spent thousands on fertility and pregnancy complications, etc. It just scares me to try again because what if we have another miscarriage.....I don't know how people afford it. We were worried about coming up with the co-pay of $2,500 to the OB before 20 weeks (their standard office procedure).

Anyway. A little blue about that. I just finished my AF cycle....so I'm on day 6 I think.

I hope everyone is doing well, and I in no way mean that anyone here lacks faith or meant to imply that without God or religion or anything that we are any different or better or worse than the other. We are all in this together. I know that religious beliefs are a touchy subject so I will keep to the ttc talk and cheer on our pregnant mamas!

post #146 of 429
Thread Starter 

Wendy -- Oh, I remember what a gut punch that bill is after a loss! It's a horrible feeling. FWIW, I think you did the right thing having the D&C, since as I recall it had been a while since the baby had stopped growing. That wait is so agonizing, and it can go on for a long time. Did you look at the hospital's charity care program? It applies to people at a lot of income levels (bill may not go away entirely, but it might be substantially reduced), and does apply to balances after insurance (meaning, it's not just for the uninsured). I think a lot of people don't know about it, and the hospital doesn't usually tell you. I am really sorry you are having to experience this fresh insult.

post #147 of 429
Thread Starter 

Mamablue -- I think I'm confused if what you were describing wasn't a fetascope. Is it a fetal monitor like what they put on you in a hospital?

post #148 of 429
Yup, like in the hospital, but it's portable. Works best on bigger fetuses, and she uses it a lot in labor. Baby is kicking a bunch this morning so I know he's fine.
post #149 of 429
Oh wengrin!!! That is so shocking!! I'm no surprised it has knocked you for six :-( I had no idea bills could be that expensive, you have my sympathy. I hope everything else is ok for you and the kids are behaving?

Mamablue- congratulations on the little football player you have in there!! He us making himself known now :-)
post #150 of 429
Wengrin - Ouch! Do you have all the bills for your D&C? I know for mine, there were three. Hospital, doctor, and anesthesia. I'd see about charity care or negotiate if possible to have them lowered, and see if you can put the rest on payments. I had two surgeries (dec 2010 and jan 2011) because of a breast cancer scare and because it was two different years, it went towards two different deductibles. My portion was $14,000 and I did not get anywhere with charity care or negotiations (totally A-hole fancy-pants hospital), but I was able to choose what I could afford for interest-free monthly payments. Here we are in 2014 and my balance is now $2700. I'll be able to pay it off this year, and it didn't break the bank. (It does still suck though, but No Cancer, so that's good.)
post #151 of 429
Mamablue - yay on the happy report - more so on the belly full of kicks wink1.gif happy peace to you xxx

Primal - hugs, and patience to you! I was joking about swapping roles, I know there's no time - but really men are useless at times! Just do what you have to to cope, be as selfish of your energy as is needed... And send the toddler to dad for stuff whenever possible smile.gif you truly are amazing, dh obviously thinks so and that there is no end to your ability... Set him straight anytime you want xxx

Wendy - hugs! Definitely look into that option primal mentioned, the bill seems like a kick in the teeth after all the suffering. I agree with primal though a d&c was still probably better for you... You suffered enough of a wait... I am not impressed that there was no discussion with you first though - that seems really rude.

Oxford - hugs on the hormones, and know that I'm riding the train with you wink1.gif I've gone and turned into the cry baby wife who needs to be coddled lol... However the vitamin b complex help heaps - lol so I'm pushing them... Apparently all of the stuff is in a pg multi anyway so it's safe... I still have the tears and tantrums but not the feeling of hopelessness - that for me was the worst. Did a major correction yesterday with natural therapy, which added tithe mix as my body adjusted. Are you doing opk's? Any idea how far from o you are? I'm in tomorrow (sat) for my final assessment before iui... I'm getting excited - cos my ovaries are so sore!
post #152 of 429
Thanks ladies- yes I will definitely check into the charity care program. I'm afraid hubby makes too much, but when you subtract child support it's not a lot. We don't live an extravagant lifestyle at all. But he does do well....so I don't know but I did receive all 3 bills- hospital, doctor, anesthesiologist and the total of my portion after insurance for all 3 is 2,000. The darned hospital is the biggest one at $1825. Ridonkulous.....(sorry that's my silly slang)

I am comforted knowing we can settle possibly or make payments. That is reassuring. I am most definitely checking into the charity care program.

Mamablue I can imagine you are so relieved not to have cancer, but paying that bill down just stinks!! Healthcare is crazy expensive here. And the doctors aren't the ones making the money, I know too many of them personally. It's medical malpractice liability insurance and the big insurance companies as well as the fact that there is not a good govt healthcare system to help those that cannot pay because they are disabled. So everyone goes to the ER because they know they'll get treatment there and then they just don't pay because they can't or don't have jobs etc....

Anyway, thanks Primal for reassuring me that I did the right thing. Yes the baby had died at 7 weeks 3 days and I went in at 9 weeks 1 day and there was no sign of impending miscarriage. Plus I've heard some women have chosen to wait it out and try to miscarry naturally (or use Cytotec) and still end up needed D&C so at least I feel some comfort knowing that it is something that I was better off doing.....

We had several smacks in the face yesterday....a couple other big bills, plus some tax liabilities we hadn't planned on, and so last night we were just both in a daze. Hubby checks out when he gets stressed. He says he has a headache and needs to lie down. So I had a hard time last night...while I was cleaning dinner I asked him to help DD with her math homework. This AM when I checked over it, half of it was wrong. She said he told her that it was right. I think he doesn't feel like it's his responsibility to help her with homework, maybe because she is his step-D?? Or maybe I am assuming things. He could have just been tired and stressed.

I am second guessing TTC now because of the money, the chaos of trying to raise DD and DS with little help in the evenings from DH, and everything. I started imagining 4-5 years from now if we were fortunate enough to have another, I would have DD with middle school math, DS starting elementary school and possibly struggling (he is left handed and his brother, my step son, is dislexic and had a really rough time reading in elementary school) so I wonder how he will do. Not that left handed has anything to do with dislexia....I know many, many leftys are brilliant. But they sometimes tend to learn differently. Maybe I am imagining the worst.

I am having a bad day, if you can't already tell! Sorry to be blah blah all about me....

I hope everyone is doing well and staying warm!! Polar freeze here and snow in some part of our area, north of here. Melted soon after it hit the ground but still. Strange. And it's supposed to be in the 70's again this weekend. 😳
post #153 of 429
Wengrin - hugs and breath... Just breath and relax... I'm sure it's not that dh won't help, like you said he was probably just checked out and thinking about those bills - it's hard to do two lots of maths at once wink1.gif
Just try and stay calm until you've worked out what to do with the bills... At the moment I totally understand both of your stress - it's like the bills are playing a game of 'stacks on' and that is not fun - but when you are feeling totally overwhelmed is not the best time to rethink your family size... I totally understand the anxiety (mine was back full force this month with the meds) just give yourself time to recover from the bills gut punch and then decide what's best for you...
Btw I'm a lefty too - and the best thing my mum ever did for me was tell the teachers not to make a big deal or treat me specially - I found my own way, some things left handed some things right (Golf lol) it really won't make any difference... If he's dyslexic then he's dyslexic - but you will work through that too cos you care so much and are an awesome mum... If you are worried work with him before he's school age... I could read age 4 and write my name (but my mum was a stay at home primary teacher lol)
Seriously he's will be fine... Be gentle with you and take a time out to relax xxx
post #154 of 429
I'm a lefty and I'm brilliant. Or not. lol.gif

Wengrin - DH and I have had our share of financial ups and downs. Up until 5 years ago we were in a very high income bracket. We could easily afford our home, new cars, new electronics, designer clothes and vacations. Then because of complicated family dynamics, he quit his job with the family business and became self-employed. Aside from the money, it was the best decision we've ever made, but his income became one third of what it was. His income has grown every year since then, but we are not anywhere near where we were. Never will be. Then we found out that I was pregnant with DS. We were so shocked and so, so happy, but my DH freaked out about finances. (It didn't help that his family has so much pity for our financial situation. My goodness, we cannot even afford to take a couple weeks off work to go on tropical and ski vacations and buy new full-size SUV's every few years. It's shocking that the employees at Nordstrom don't even know me by name anymore. Tut tut.) It was a legit concern, but it's worked out just fine. TTC this current baby was a big decision to make, too. Fertility costs are expensive and so are children in general. Based on federal income levels, we are bordering on poor, but we manage our money well. We knew we'd regret not having another down the road. In the long run, our current money woes won't matter, but my son having a sibling near his age will be a lifelong gift.

The point of me saying all if this because it's important to look way ahead. Not just a couple years, but 5, 10, 15 years. In 20 years, will you regret not having another? Will you be glad you didn't?
post #155 of 429
Heading to bed, so just a really quick hello to say good luck to chuord with the IUI. We are all with you xx
post #156 of 429
Mamablue- I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer scare. I'm delighted that you caught it an the treatment worked, it must have been a difficult time. It just shows we need to get in with life and enjoy it while we are here. The bills sounds terrible though, what a shocker! Is that that the total cost of the treatment or just the part you guys have to pay on top of the insurance? That's pretty scary that something like that or like poor wengrin, can come out of the blue and land you a massive bill. We pay high taxes for free healthcare. The standards are varied and often you have to fight for what you need as they are always trying to balance the budgets but I still feel very lucky when I read your extra payments. I always thought that you guys paid an insurance policy and that covered you for great healthcare, I had no idea you have extra to pay on top :-(

Anyway glad you pulled through Mamablue. And wengrin I'm glad you took the care that you need, nothing is more important than your health.

Wengrin- you are an amazing mom. You will be fabulous with two or three children because it is obvious that you adore theme and put yourself at the heart of your family. You can achieve whatever you want, just believe.

Chuord- I'm thinking of you and the IUI today. I think with time difference you will have had it by now. Let us know all about it. Hope you're ok sweetheart.

Over here I think O was yesterday. We have been doing alternate days bd, so we hit -4,-2 and morning of O, then a +1, just for good luck!! My ovaries have been giving me he'll so I am hopeful they have worked again this month. Unfortunately I've been got by the lack of CM side effect of the clomid. I had nothing until the afternoon of O and then a bit of EWCM. We used a sperm friendly lubricant so I hope that was enough. It's slightly annoying that the drug to help O dries up the fluid that helps the sperm! :-( oh well, it is back to the TWW for me. Chuord, Are you there too now?

How is the polar freeze going over there? We are hovering just above freezing with constant rain and gales. It hAs been the wettest January on record and parts if the country are still flooded. Crazy weather, I want spring to arrive now. Chuord- have you still got your heat wave? It has dropped out if the news here now so I'm guessing it has passed?

Have a great Saturday everyone. We are visiting the in laws.
post #157 of 429
Mamablue - I must have missed a post, sorry to hear about the cancer scare.

Oxford - yay for o!!!
Sorry in bed with a sore head so I'll be brief... No iui yet - that will now be Monday, however today I had my fsh and o prevention this morning followed this afternoon by 6500 pregnyl (hcg) to trigger I for iui on Monday morning - my poor body is a little confused lol..
He thinks the larger follicle may be a dud and of the other two only one ripened... More in the morning I'm beat xxx
post #158 of 429
Chourd - I'm cheering for your follies for Monday! Ripen eggies, ripen! Take some time to pamper yourself, I know your ovaries must be yellling pretty loud.

Oxford - You timing sounds perfect! How cool would it be to conceive on an unmonitored cycle?! Let the two week wait begin, and here is some extra sanity for you. dust.gif

I'm sorry, I must have not been clear about my health scare. It turned out I didn't have cancer. The breast biopsy and first surgery came back inconclusive, so I had to have a second, larger one to rule it out once and for all. It was scary because I'm one of the only women on my mothers side of the family who hasn't had it. But, so far so good. A prophylactic double mastectomy is on the horizon for me, and I welcome it! Anyway, yes, the amount I listed for it is the amount due after insurance. It's an ugly price to pay for necessary medical care, but so may other people have it much worse. It didn't bankrupt us or cause us to lose our home. That happens sometimes, unfortunately. Plus, no cancer. That's the best part.
post #159 of 429
Chuord - come on follies!! Thinking of you tomorrow.

Wengrin - my minion is a lefty. Happily the school never tried to "fix" it and he does well with it. I'm a righty and so is dh. But most of my in-laws are ambidextrous.

MamaBlue - awesomesauce for no cancer.

Im missing people and im sorry.

Afm - nada special going on. Superbowl tomorrow which I wont watch but dh will. Minion gets dental surgery Thursday. Yerp. Boring all around here and it's niiiice.
post #160 of 429
Oxford - mama blue is right it would be awesome to get pg on an I monitored cycle - even better if it's a sticky!
Oxford and Chrissy thanks for the love smile.gif Chrissy - I love the sound of your boring right now, not the road there but just this moment in time xxx
Mamablue - no pampering here, today we get to go and fix the inlaws dentures ;( and take them some food she can eat without. It lol...
Sorry all miss this bit if you aren't up for a whinge... I'm not sure how much hcg 6500 of pregnyl contains - but I feel so tired, less rested after sleep with all the crazy dreams (half of them I had bad sinus and asthma and was gasping)... I know it should all be worth it - but I get 1 egg normally and all this medication bites the big one... I also have to have pregnyl boosters (1500 Thursday, Sunday and Thursday) I'm getting to the stage where on the one hand it doesn't feel the right path for me - I regret the intervention, on the other that I'm so old and defective I'd better move straight onto ivf next cycle... I really wish last month had been different... My stomach is sore and swollen (plus bruising from injections), my ovaries hurt to lie on, I just want to cry lol and am feeling cranky...
Ok I think I'm done, sorry to unload - just ignore me I needed to vent and dh has taken enough wink1.gif
The reason he thinks the big one is a dud - oestrogen levels should be 500-1000 per healthy egg, my last test was only 382 and the large follie was ready by then, so it probably indicates a bad one...
Hope all is well besides - looking forward to reading about your fun
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