I think it would be interesting to talk with each other about the various times that we've been sort of on the permissive or protective end of the spectrum in terms of what we will allow our kids to do.
When my first was young I suppose that we were "protective". Compared to my more mainstream relatives I was known as a protective mother. Honestly, even compared to most "AP" people I think I was on the cautious side. I would say that all throughout her early childhood we were often on the more protective side of things compared to choices all our friends and relatives. But now that my DC has entered middle school I am finding myself to be on the other end of the spectrum rather suddenly.
To give an example...
My DC wanted to get together with her friends. My DC is ready to attend a public event unchaperoned. When we made the invite I was clear that I would not be there and this was a "get together" not a party that we are hosting. It turns out that quite a few other parents or kids are just not ready for this type of thing and several parents will be in attendance. Many of whom have joked with me about what a pickle I've landed them in for planning a party that is going to be rather unpleasant for parents to attend as a chaperon.
Anyway, it's interesting to have been on both ends of the spectrum here. I'm very glad that I was once the parent who attended events where other parents dropped off because I can understand what it's like to be that parent. I also don't feel all that badly for the parents who feel they must attend my DC's get together because I've BTDT and know that it's about them and their family values and not a reflection on me.
Also, after all those years at parties at annoying toddler event type places with nothing to eat but sheet cake...I love that I get to stay home tonight and have a beer.