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Postpartum Chat

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 

I don't know about you guys, but I need just as much support postpartum as I do during pregnancy!  I know everyone is busy now with their littles.  But if you have a second, check in and let us know how everything is going!  There are so many topics to cover!

 

AFM, we're 5 days PP and I'm pooped and full of crazy hormones.  I'm not depressed by any means, but my brain is just on overdrive and I obsess over 5 topics at once.  Is Kat eating enough? Sleeping too much? Is her poop red? (It wasn't, but the nightlight made it look bright red and I spent a solid 30 minutes reading about poop colors before thinking to turn the regular light on.) How is DS coping? Should we move to be closer to family? Do I want another child? When would be the best time to have another baby? (I seriously spent hours the other night trying to calculate this based on spacing, physical recovery, life goals, the need to buy a new house... you know, while my 3 day old sleeps next to me).  On and on and on.  I'm actually pretty stable emotionally, although these thoughts come from an emotional place.  I can't remember when the adrenaline wore off with DS, though I remember it being similar.  I was exhausted, but could not sleep between wanting to stare at him constantly and all my crazy thoughts.

 

Otherwise things are pretty good.  She's super sleepy and I worry about that, but I think it's within the realm of normal and her alert periods are getting longer and longer.  I think it didn't help that her face got pretty swollen and she still has a hard time actually opening her eyelids.  We're getting a hang of nursing.  I'm not a huge fan of her latch, but I apparently have indestructible nipples and the crustiness seems to have healed as of yesterday and it will get easier as my let down chills out and she learns how to deal with it.  Her larynx is also a little floppy.  I don't know if that affects feeding - none of the pros at the hospital seemed to think so, but it sure doesn't sound good when she eats.

 

DS is adjusting better than I expected.  Better than I am, I think!  He is the biggest focus of my crazy thoughts and I'm positive our relationship is ruined or he hates me or is going to grow away from me or I missed out on a big part of his babyhood by being a grouchy pregnant lady and everything is ruined.  And I feel like that creepy mom in Love You Forever who will be sneaking into her adult son's house to rock him every night.  Eesh.  Oh yeah, that's where the real crazies are.  Hopefully, he will continue to take things in stride and I will CHILL OUT about it.

post #2 of 47

 Cwill-  I am laughing over your post!  I am so glad I am not the only one who thinks the mom is creepy in Love You Forever :)  But I have thought that as well and it cheers me out of my blue phase to know that I am not the only one.

 

My baby is finally getting milk and is content and I am engorged and blue and sore and tired.  Kind of irritated too I guess.  My MIL came over today and said she was going to help out and folded like one basket of laundry.  No dishes or anything.  I shouldn't be crabby about it- but I am.  

 

My children are at my moms for the week and I know they are having a great vacation from me but I am so lonely and miss them and want them to come home.  Basically I want to ruin their vacation because I am lonely.  There.  Isn't that the truth?  And then when they do come home I will be overwhelmed and cranky and even more tired.  But not lonely by any means.  

 

And I am sore.  Everything still obviously hurts and I can't really do much except sit and snuggle my baby but there  are lots of things that I feel like I should be doing at the same time.  Like cooking a decent meal since apparently my DH is going to make me eat only the huge kettle of chili he made.  

post #3 of 47
Me, too.

I'm still frustrated by my sore (bruised) tailbone which makes it hard to sit. I can't believe over a week has gone by already. My baby is growing up!! I get a little teary sometimes thinking about it.

It was nice to have a peds appt today and have her weighed and know she is gaining, I have been worried. I guess I need something to worry about.

Tomorrow I've decided we are going for a walk. I will take it slow and easy but I've got to get out of the house! Not sure if I will put her in the car seat on the stroller frame or in the moby. Might depend on the weather. We will walk over to babies r us and exchange a couple of duplicate gifts.

I'm feeling nervous and unsure about my recovery. The bleeding had slowed a lot but thurs but today it's still going strong. I'm antsy to be able to sit more easily!!

I really want to switch to cloth but I haven't bought the diaper pail trash can yet. I still can't drive so I can't get to target to pick one up.I don't know that I want to put cloth in the open can we are using for sposies right now?? Also need to get to the breast feeding center at the hospital to get my breast pump and some more nursing bras but see also: can't drive yet. I need some nursing tops too but I don't know what to get??

I was just too tired to do these things last week while dh was fully home, this week he is working from home so he can't drive me places greensad.gif
post #4 of 47
You guys could try a hemherhoid ring to help sitting be more comfy. A neck pillow also works (a good investment for sleeping upright in the LaZBoy while nursing). I know, not safe. Hmmmmm. Last babe i alternated my cheap inflatable travel neck pillow between my sore bottom and my sore neck. Lol.

Poly, you would be fine using an open bucket for cloth diapers. Do you have another child or a dog who would get into it?. Otherwise, supposedly an open pail is LESS stinky than a closed one. The ammonia smell dissipates when the diaper dries.

My other suggestion is Amazon Prime and have all that junk shipped! Best ever when you have a small babe.

Iowa, i feel you. Hang in there! I considered sending my kids away for the first bit, but decided i need their positive energy. I know it will be overwhelming and make me grumpy. Lol. Catch 22!
post #5 of 47
We have cats so I wanted a lid. Not tight fitting but something. I can't find what I want on amazon prime, I looked greensad.gif but I decided to just use the pail liner on its own.

I have found the new designed boppy is great to sit on, the ring pillow from the hospital not so nice. Ugh.
post #6 of 47

Things have been a challenge here. Atlas is nursing pretty well but my let downs kill. I can't believe he is almost 4 weeks old already. I don't remember, do let downs continue to hurt or get more painful because I swear they have.... Anyway DD loves him so much and wants to kiss and hug him all the time and I really have to watch because she is not always careful. She has also really been acting out and it is wearing me down. I think I have been having some PP depression which sucks. The first 3 weeks were really hard and my family seemed very uninterested in coming to see us. My DH had most of the first week off and helped out a little but other that than I haven't had much help with anything. Its not that I can't handle things on my own but every time I think I have stopped bleeding, I have a busy day and lots of laundry and stuff and then it starts back up again. I have had lots of trouble focusing on stuff too- as you can probably tell by this. lol I have been sleeping on the couch for the 3 weeks too because Atlas does't want to sleep anywhere but on me and I don't want him to keep DH up at night since he has to be at work so early. .I think this is part of why I have been feeling so down. I just need to sleep in my bed again and get Atlas to sleep in the bassinet. 

 

Ok I'm done with that now.... So Atlas is so amazing. He is so cute and smiles all the time (I tell you it is not just gas! lol ) He really is such a good baby and I just love him like crazy. I am so very blessed and that is what kills even more about feeling so down all the time. I have been taking B vitamin 12 and that has been helping a little with the blues.. 

post #7 of 47
Just curious mamas, who has encapsulated their placenta and is taking it already?
post #8 of 47
I wish I would have! greensad.gif
post #9 of 47
Oh, tspencer, i am so sorry. It is very hard to be at home with a newborn and a demanding LO. It isnt a great solution, but you can nurse the baby on the sofa while you cuddle with the bigger one and watch tv. And i read something recently that said a few minutes focused on the big kid when they first wake up, a good early snuggle, helps fill the tank so they feel good all day. Right, well, it is worth a try! Good luck. Take care of yourself and make sure you are getting a break when DH gets home in the evening.
post #10 of 47

Thanks, vtamanda! I will have to try that in the morning. I do try to get her to cuddle with me while I am nursing but she won't always. I try to give her attention while he is sleeping, but it doesn't always seem to be enough for her, or she is only interested in me while I am dealing with Atlas. lol I just love her so much and don't want her to feel like I love her less or anything. And I feel horrible because I feel like I am always on her case because she has been acting out so much. Ugh It is just a difficult transition that I tried to prepare for but....... 

post #11 of 47

Ohhh ladies.  I know it is rough right now but it does get better soon!  

 

Polyhymnia- order the pail off target and just have it shipped.  I know it seems like a waste- but just do it and have it done.  Can you just order the bras and tops?  I have order several times off of breakout bras before and the service is great.  For tops I really like bravado tanks with a shirt over.  Or a nursing bra with a cami over that and then pull the cami down and pull a shirt up.

 

tspencer-  I completely agree with the fill the cup of the little one first thing in the morning and they behave much nicer!  

post #12 of 47
It is tough! My DD1 was 3yrs and 4 months when DD2 was born. We got to a point where i just had to say "you can wait, this new baby cannot wait. Now come and help me by doing X". I put cups and snacks down where she could get to them herself (you know, in case she was starving and had to have a snack at the exact moment of poopy blowout). And giving her jobs to help with seemed to help. But yea, it is tough. Especially when my husband or a grandma was around but still only Mommy could put her hair in a Ponytail or wipe her butt, or buckle the carseat, or whatever. But she learned that she either waited or accepted another caregiver, or did it herself!! And eventually she was the best big sister. She is a huge help around the house now. It will get better. Just do your best and remember you have to meet your own needs to ever have hope of meeting everyone elses. I hate being pulled in 92 directions, it is exhausting. Just agree to let some things go. Cleaning, cooking, whatever it has to be. This time is not forever, don't stress it.
post #13 of 47
I have no idea what size bras or tops to get greensad.gif I think a friend will come over tomorrow so we can do errands together. I feel guilty because the dr said tues to start giving baby vit d drops but I haven't been to the store to get them, she recommended Carlson brand which they have at whole foods but not amazon greensad.gif
post #14 of 47
Thread Starter 

I'm sorry things have been hard tspencer.  Today is my first day alone with the 2 kids and it is not easy.  DS has been acting out too.  First of all, he is just totally exhausted.  He's been tired since my mom got here and is having the hardest time winding down at night and for naps.  At night, we've been putting him to bed and he'll just sing and talk and yell and jump in his bed for over an hour before finally going to sleep.  This is a kid who usually is dead to the world at 6:30 pm.  But of course being tired is making everything worse.  He's more prone to getting hurt, to getting his feelings hurt, to not wanting to eat anything.  Which makes him even grouchier.

 

This morning I tried what PP recommended and got up with him when he got up.  So far the day has been pretty good.  Oops!  He just woke up.  More later...

post #15 of 47
I'm sorry for everyone struggling with older kids. I was thinking just yesterday that I don't know how anyone does it with a second. This would be much a rider if we weren't just following her cues and rhythm for everything. She's starting to have a few fussy periods but we are learning how to soothe her.

I wanted to share this picture of my big girl - tend days old!!
post #16 of 47
I hesitate to post cause things are going pretty well here on our 4 week birthday. Paulina has a fussy period in the early evening but other than that is getting easier...being more content when not nursing.

The older kids are doing well...ds3 was in my bed until baby came and that transition (to his own toddler bed in my room) has gone very well.

My older kids have made all the difference though...I remember those hard, hard days with babies 2 and 3 but truly having 7 is so much easier! The bigs do so much to help the littles adjust and can distract them when baby only needs mama. It has helped for sure that they have had so many snow days and have been around a lot to help.

For those of you without bigs...any ability to "hire" a 12-14yo helper for a few hours/day? We did that when dd2 was little and it did help.

I totally hear the frustration on not driving! I had vertigo for one week the second week after she was born and couldn't drive anywhere (or even ride in the car!) it sucked. I was totally house happy and of course it's 40 below here and a foot of snow so even though I'm feeling better it still is a total pain to go out!
post #17 of 47

Hope things are improving or at least maintaining....  My kids all came home from Grandmas on Saturday night.  It was pure chaos...  But good because I missed them so much :)  So today is our first day trying to get back to normal.  We are doing school today and it is like trying to make my border collie focus... ugh.  But the lovely thing is that all of our suppers are being delivered from our church this week so there is no pressure to be done early enough to get supper on.  My baby only feel safe in the sling since the kids came home- so I am thankful for my sling.

post #18 of 47
Dh is working at work today. We are doing ok so far for our first day at home alone. Lillian has started fighting sleep but she will settle if I lie down with her. Excuse to snuggle my baby? Heck yes I will take it!

I'm starting to see an end in sight to the tailbone pain too... But now we are dealing with oversupply...
post #19 of 47
Thread Starter 

Postpartum is actually going pretty good for us too.  My brain has slowed down.  DS is still largely taking things in stride with a few big tantrums.  But, you know, he's 2.  They're going to happen, little sister or not.  Ugh, but he hit her yesterday while I was feeding her.  Yesterday was a bad day for him for a few reasons so I'm hoping it was a one time thing.  I put him in his crib and finished feeding her because I didn't know what else to do.  I felt really bad about it.  And I'm torn because on the one hand, he's acting out because he doesn't have limitless access to me anymore and I want to nurture him through that - not push him away even more.  But on the other hand, this is the new norm and he's going to have to learn to adjust without hitting his sister.  That's totally unacceptable. 

post #20 of 47

Poly, be sure it's oversupply and not one of the many little things (like oral issues or minor breathing things) that can cause a baby to struggle with good flow. Most care providers don't know how to tell the difference and if you take advice to tamp down your supply it can bite you in the butt later... I learned this the hard way. Better to find ways to help a baby cope with the flow and keep your supply nice and healthy in my opinion. 

Mothering › Groups ›  January 2014 Due Date Club › Discussions › Postpartum Chat