Moms of many - any one doing a baby shower?
I don't think you can have a shower without asking for things. I would suggest you look into a blessingway instead. I threw a get together loosely based on the native American tradition for my aunt who was carrying a child who would never leave the hospital. Obviously, we didn't want to inundate her with gifts that she would never get to use, but I still wanted her to get the chance to get together with family and friends and celebrate.
yes- w/ my 4th i really wanted to celebrate the baby. she was totally unexpected and i wanted everyone to rejoice in this new one and celebrate her. i never considered a shower but our housemate at the time was really excited to throw one for me. we didn't ask for a lot (basically got new onesies and some boy things in case) and those are all my DS2 wears now!
i loved the party and it was a great way for people who knew us but weren't close (b/c most of my friends were single at the time) get to interact on the baby front w/ me. and everyone was so excited when she came out b/c by celebrating her, when they met her it was like 'YOU!!! we were waiting for you and celebrating you!!!' which was awesome. and she still carries a bit of that w/ her wherever she goes.
blessingway sounds amazing.
I just am exited about our surprise #4
yeah- my mom thought it was selfish and weird to have a shower on my 4th. she thought my friend throwing it was presumptuous as well to think people would want to give to a baby that many in... i think it was very generous and wonderful.
do it w/ a friend if you have someone like that in your life! that makes it easier.
Another idea, but you can't ask for it: with number 3, our church gave us a money tree. That was super helpful!
If this baby is a girl baby, I am going to let my friends throw me a shower. With my second (2nd boy) the ladies at church insisted on a shower. I really didn't need anything, and so most of the stuff was either frivolous or to-be-returned. I didn't have one with DS #3. The thing is, if this is a girl, I will have her about the same time that our adoption is final of our oldest (a girl), so I think it would be really fun to have a tea party or something to celebrate both events, not focusing on the baby, but allowing some acknowledgement of her existence as the 5th!
My bestie threw an amazing Mother's blessing (aka blessingway) for me for my 2nd, after years of us doing them for other people. It was a pivotal day for me in healing emotionally from my first birth, and left me feeling ready for birth. Our group also does a meal train, and I don't expect a baby shower. Unfortunately, I did already give most of the baby stuff away, as my baby is two and we were not planning on having more! Oh well ;) I'm not one for holding onto things that I don't need.
I had a couple traditional showers with my first. For my second, my friends did a nice "blessingway" The guests were instructed to bring a freezer meal for us instead of gifts. Oh and a bead to add to a necklace. It was a sweet and intimate time with close friends and family. I liked how the focus wasn't on gifts at all. For my third, my fellow LLL leaders just did a little bbq and gave me some freezer meals. There are only 4 of us so it wasn't a big thing, but still nice. I am not really expecting much this time and that is fine. I do need a few things, like a new carseat, but really by the 4th kid you realize how little you actually need. ;)
With my first I was in my last semester of college and a bunch of friends set up a "diaper collection" where everyone donated diapers and diaper changing supplies and it was pretty much the best thing ever. We didn't pay for anything diapering related for almost a year (such a huge help!) and when we had things we couldn't use (wrong diaper cream, wrong size diapers, etc) we could walk into pretty much any store and exchange it for what we needed.
We weren't CDing at the time, but I imagine it could work really similarly if people were directed on what to get(via registry or whatever)
I didn't think we'd do anything for this one because I was always under the impression that you only got a shower for your first... but I have a friend who is positively insisting on throwing a shower for this babe, and although I'm not a shower person it's been 9 years since our first and we have NOTHING baby related anymore so gifts wouldn't hurt... that said, I have hated every single traditional baby shower I've ever been to and absolutely don't want that, nor do I really want a blessing way (in spite of the fact that I was raised in a family where that is normal, and my husband is Native American).
Anyway, this time I think it would be really nice to have a BBQ/Cookout party that's less focused on being a "shower" and more about being a "celebration" and if people want to bring gifts great but if not that's just as well.
It's for sure not going to be a traditional shower. More of a party with baby shower type games and lots of drinks . I'm also leaning towards a bbq/pool party.
I do have another question! Would writing, "Gifts not necessary, but hand-me-downs or frozen meals for after the birth would be greatly appreciated!" be rude? Lol. Maybe I won't write the hand me down part, mostly because everyone has already given us their hand me downs :)
Just thinking out loud.
I think that sounds like a great idea CherryBombMama. I love this whole idea of bringing a freezer meal instead of a gift too. I think I may do something like that. I hated my baby shower, so I don't want to do all the stupid games and stuff. Plus so many of my friends are boys that it mostly ended up being family and me feeling weird that I had like 2 friends that were girls there. Maybe this time we'll do a big celebration of baby bbq too!