I would like to have a third party witness as well.
If it's leaving marks or bruises, it's abuse.
I work collaboratively with CPS on a daily basis... I do the mental health assessments and therapy - if deemed necessary - on CPS referred cases. In my county (and it does vary greatly by county), as soon as a mark and/or bruise is witnessed - preferably by a third party - they will investigate within either a 24 or 72 hour time frame. The details of the reports are assigned points... the higher the points the quicker the investigation. The fact that it is your autistic ds, who is receiving the marks, the higher the priority.
Additionally, as important as it is to document by taking pictures of the marks... it's often very easy to enter into a he said/she said dispute about the validity of those pictures. This is why third party witnesses (particularly mandated reporters; teachers, doctors, childcare workers, etc) and their subsequent reports are SO important.
It's aggressive but controlled
I'm just trying to keep him happy until it's all final so he doesn't change his mind (to answer the question why I let him have them unsupervised).
Also worth noting is that he's going to Korea for a year in May so I won't have to worry about it for a while..
The fact that he is grabbing your ds hard enough to leave a bruise, that is not controlled.
While I completely understand trying not to "rock the boat" and wait it out until he leaves... it truly only takes one incident to go from bad to worse. Not the mention the potential psychological damage it is putting your children through... presently and possibly in the future.
If there is still a visible bruise, then contact CPS immediately and/or see if you can get into see your pediatrician. You need that third party witness. Also, bring your pictures of the recent bruises/marks and the previous incidents. Personally, going straight to the police station, which can be very intimidating for a child, should only be considered in more severe and immediate cases. Although, in all honesty, ANY action you take to protect your kids is a good decision.
If there is not a visible bruise, contact CPS and give them ALL the details. They could then advise you on next steps. You can call and give them this information anonymously. In my county, we call it an anonymous consult.
I'm really sorry that you and your kids are having to deal with this. It is never easy... for anyone involved.
Edited by Holland73 - 1/22/14 at 5:11pm