Sole custody now doesn't mean he can't come back later and say that he wants visitation or even a fifty fifty split so I wouldn't let that hold you back from calling. I don't know about your state but in mine even when a parent gets sole legal and physical custody not having a visitation schedule for the noncustodial parent is something judges don't sign off on without holding a hearing even if both parents agree.
This is true but a change in the parenting plan would only happen if there was a "substantial change in circumstance". I am 99% sure he would never go back to try to change custody once it's done. I appreciate all of the support, information and ideas. I will make sure that all visits until he leaves for Korea are supervised by me and I will keep records of any bad behavior. I don't appreciate the pressure to go about things in a different way, I believe I am doing things in the correct way to keep my babies safe.
I know there are modified visitation schedules, does anyone have any links to some sample ones I can look at for some ideas? He has agreed to once a month visitation. I really believe that he doesn't really want to be a dad and is only participating at all to look "involved" and so he can feel like he's doing his duty. I wish he would just go away.