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stressed out possible father

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
My gf is now 9 weeks pregnant her LMP date was Nov 15th 2013 28 day cycle we had unprotected sex on the 22nd she then cheated on the 26th I'm wondering if there's any chance I could be the father
post #2 of 13
Im not able to write much now, but yes, either you or the other person could be the father.
post #3 of 13
Thread Starter 
The thing her ovulation date is the 29th
post #4 of 13

Sorry, not sure there's a straight answer to this. When she cheated was that definitely unprotected? I don't know there's any way to confirm exactly when she got pregnant, it could have been either of those days.

post #5 of 13
Thread Starter 
She got drunk and took ex that night she woke up the next morning naked. It was unprotected sex.
post #6 of 13

That's a horrible situation to be in, I'm sorry. I'm not an expert but it sounds like you had sex just after her period? Maybe too close fo rher to be pregnant, but like i say, I'm not an expert.

I hope you find some answers in this but be prepared for not being able ot find out until after the baby is born.

post #7 of 13

If you have sex...there is a chance. Best thing you can do is prepare yourself in case you are the dad, do your best to handle your stress, start looking into what your rights are and preparing yourself "legally" and when the baby is born have a paternity test done asap. (maybe even try doing an estimate due date on your own and look into what you need to be doing to make sure a test gets done asap...don't wait until the child is a year old) 

post #8 of 13
Thread Starter 
Yes we had sex 5 days after she got off her period she started on Nov 15th ended on Nov 17th trust me if it's mines I'm going to take care of it. Also this wouldn't be my only cold it'll be my second. I experienced couvade syndrome (sympathetic pregnancy) with my son and also with this one before she told me she cheated.
post #9 of 13

Well, how do you know exactly when she ovulated? Does she track her ovulation and periods? 

 

If she doesn't then all you are doing is taking a guess. The thing is, only a DNA test is going to tell you if you are the father or not. Sorry you are in the situation... 

post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 
It's a guess
post #11 of 13

I'm also 10wks pregnant - my LMP was Nov 13th, I ovulated on the 27th. So similar to what your gf is describing, but I have 30 day cycles. My only concern for you is that if she ovulated on the 29th, and you DTD on the 22nd...well, those swimmers don't last 7 days.  Your guys have 5 days tops, in prime conditions. I hate to do the math this way, but unless she ovulated much earlier than you think (like the 24th or 25th), chances are not in your favor. I'd say the odds could go either way - 50/50.  Definitely get a paternity test.

 

So sorry you have to be in this position...it's got to be so difficult. Best of luck to you, and I wish you much peace with whatever happens.

post #12 of 13
Actually, they can sometimes last that long. I think you're going to have to wait until you can do the test once the baby is born. I'm sorry--that's an awful long time to have to wait to know for sure. Also, I guess I'd say that you should decide if you want to be the father anyway. I mean, if you are still together, there's a lot more to being a father than the DNA--if you want to take on that role, you will legally be able to do so in the hospital, from what I understand. That might help you decide how to act between now and the birth in terms of getting ready, staying together, etc.
post #13 of 13
Seriously, there have been three pretty big cases about dads who were no longer with the mother and lost custody because of technicalities during her pregnancy and immediately after birth. The babies were actually adopted, and the fathers who wanted them had no legal recourse. So, if you want to retain your rights, I would suggest getting your ducks in s row now. Judges look at things like going to prenatal appointments, paying for the moms care and prep for baby, etc.

I don't know what the laws are in your state, but an unmarried father definitely can have an uphill battle to get and maintain paternal and custody rights (even shared).
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