We are adopting an 8-year-old who has been in foster care for 3 years. We have known her for those three years, and she is very excited to finally make it official. With all the termination visits completed with her birth parents, we have been able to bring up the fact that her last name will change to ours.
At first she was a little hesitant, but has since decided that she not only wants to change her last name to ours, but wants to change all of her names... My hope was that we could use her first name, add her birth last name as her middle name (she does not identify with her current middle name at all - only found out what it was this year, and can't even spell it), and then use our last name. But, she wants to change her whole name. She wants a derivative of her first, currently hyphenated first name, and then Hazel - a totally unrelated name, and then our last name.
I've read all the threads about changing names, and appreciate the heated opinions on the topic. Although I wouldn't have chosen her name for a child myself, I've known her for 3 years and had no intention of changing it. But, now it is she who wants the change. I'm not sure how I feel about this. She is only 8, and I don't want her to resent the fact that I let her change it in years to come. On the other hand, I feel like this is her exerting a little bit of control over the whole situation, and if she really wants to change her name, I think this is a fine time to do it.
I guess I'm just looking for some opinions from people who have BTDT. What would you all do in a similar situation? Should I be talking to a therapist about it, or is it just not that big of a deal?
Thanks, in advance, for your advice.