Hi Everyone, I am new here and remember I had come here to the forums many many years ago when my daughter was just 3 or 4 yo and the support was really helpful.
So, I am back in the hopes of maybe finding some direction. I will try to keep this fairly short if I can!
My daughter is 14yo and I am at my wits end. She lives with me most of the time, she sees her dad on the weekend and her dad and I get along well now. Been divorced 10 years.
Just over the last several months in particular, in her 8th grade year, she has hit bottom, so-to-speak.
Last Monday it was time to get up for school and she just started crying uncontrollably. To the point of near hyperventilation. She couldn't stop and didn't for hours. I had to get to work so I called her dad to come stay with her until I could get back. She was going on about feeling like she was 'dying inside' and was 'so tired of it all'. She was 'tired of trying'. She basically just hit a wall and couldn't do it anymore.
The thing is, she is not at risk for self harm or anything like that--she has a friend going through it and she thinks its really wrong and 'stupid'.....but never the less she is still having these dark heavy feelings. She has been a really good student, has a few very close, good friends, she and I are very close and she is pretty close with her dad.
This has been building for years I think, my daughter has always been uber-sensitive and when meeting new people was not the super friendly outgoing type.
Anyway, I digress.
This happened last week and when I got home she and her dad hadn't moved and the tears and lack of vitality continued. The next day---same thing, she couldn't stop crying and I had to get to work. This continued for days! I was feeling both frustrated, and very concerned. She has missed school, I've missed some work but mostly I am worried about her.
I have communicated with the school, they are understanding--very much so. I found an amazing therapist who my daughter actually connected with (she has been against therapy for years but I demanded it)--
But last night she was at her dads and texting me saying she was having a lot of anxiety about going back to school and still feels awful inside and said "what if I can't stop crying again?". And "I'm too tired to do anything', and "I just want everything to go away."
Basically, I think she has depression and anxiety......
I refuse to put her on medication, but I am trying to figure this out!! I can't keep doing this. And school seems to be a huge trigger, she does well but does not like school.
She is expressing herself right now in the all black, black eyeliner, heavy metal-core music and I know its her refuge and I am open minded but I can't help but feel totally at a loss what to do.
Sorry this is so long! Have any of you had this experience?? Any thoughts?
Thank you for taking the time to read this :)