I am so fed up with the terrible twos...and he just turned two!! I don't think I quite understand the concept of Gentle Discipline, though I really really want to do things differently than those around me. I grew up being spanked, all of my sisters spank and preach that it's the only way to not have wild, selfish, uncontrollable children. Spanking is the atmosphere I was raised in and it didn't traumatize me or anything, it's just not what I want to do.
My problem is, we're transitioning from baby-hood - where there's a little parenting, but mostly just managing - to toddlerhood, and I feel disoriented. If I'm not spanking, then what am I doing? How do I handle the not-listening, tantrum-throwing, maddening little person flinging himself around my home? We have been doing some time-out, mostly just when I'm so frustrated I know I'll scream if I don't get him away from me. I don't want to scream. I think that's just as damaging as spanking.
Specifically, I am completely at a loss of how to deal with refusing to get in his car seat, booster seat at mealtimes, and huge tantrums whenever we change his diaper. He has to do those things! But he kicks and screams and arches his back and I end up holding him down to get his stupid diaper on him or forcing him into his car seat because we need to go. I hate this! That's not how I want to be, but I've got to get a diaper onto him. (Yes, I know I could potty train and I'm looking into that, I just don't think he's ready yet). Has anyone found good ways to negotiate/bribe their kids into a diaper change or into a car seat? I am not closed to bribery. I'm just so frustrated and I hate the atmosphere in our home when I get to such a high frustration level. I think at the heart of it, I'm disoriented with the big picture of gentle discipline as opposed to everything I've ever seen growing up - control and physical punishment. I need some sort of discipline plan or something to help give structure to what I do.
As some background, he just turned two and can't speak very much yet. I'm sure a lot of his frustration comes from that.