Anyway, current problem. Visits. LO is almost one year old. He is not on the birth certificate, and as he has a drinking problem and has been very drunk a few times he wanted to visit, I am not comfortable with him having her alone, so I have to be there. We did not set up formal visits, but agreed on Sundays for visits, and my door has been open if he wanted to come see her. He complains that he does not get to see her enough, but it's all in his hands and he does not make the effort. AND lately, he has been scheduling BBQ/parties when we're supposed to come visit. Am I being overly controlling, or is that not really a visitation? I pack up all of our things and drive across town (because he can't seem to come to my place), and I don't feel like sitting through an effing party. I have more important things to do if he doesn't really want to bond with her. The visits are very taxing on me, and I just don't feel like driving all the way over there for him to BBQ with buddies and drink. I'm driving there for him to have a relationship with his daughter. He argued that I spend time with friends with her, why can't he do the same? My thought, because that's the ONLY time you spend with her.
I'll be honest. It also partially bugs me because he has been lying to me and trying to get back together with me while seeing other women. Said other women/woman will probably be there. He always lies to me about them and I find out later. So that is the kind of people we would be spending time with during our visits. I don't want to get back together with him, but the lies and manipulation really bug me.
What should I do? Am I being silly? Controlling? Are these visits his and he can do what he wants with them? Or should I say hell no, I don't have time to party with you, I have dishes and laundry and bathing to do, and your place is a dangerous mess, but if you want to spend quality time with her, you are welcome to drive your grown self over here?
What do y'all's visitations look like?