First off I'm in a similar boat with being the odd woman out in my grouping of friends over just about every decision I've ever made so it can be tough when you disagree with all of their advice. We went back and forth about me leaving my job when DD was born and I stayed home about 6mos then found part time work to help offset some of the bills (DH works 2 full time jobs). It's been rough but we get by and more and more we've talked about me going back full time. Up until now my FIL has watched DD for the 5hrs I'm away M-F, and as nice as that is, I've had MANY issues crop up that have been caused by him and it's been pushing me towards putting DD into a full time pre-school when she's 3 (currently 26mos).
This is what brought me to this decision...
1) FIL used to take her out all the time and walk her around the neighborhood, took her to the nearby park, lots of outside time.....now it's literally 5hrs of tv and it kills me and much of it is stuff I'd rather she not watch.
2) She's had food issues most of her life - dairy being the first one we discovered a sensitivity to, followed by gluten sensitivity and a nasty oat allergy. He's known this - yet the day she turned 18mos he took her out for ice cream claiming he heard me say 18mos was the age she'd be ok to have dairy so without double checking he did it anyways and she was horribly ill afterwards. Similar issue more recently he found some cheerios buried in a cabinet, they have oats, long story short I was able to halt the progression of the hives at her thighs with the use of Rescue Remedy and the following day he never batted an eye, didn't apologize, nor ask if she was ok. All of her reactions are delayed thus because he doesn't "see them" he doesn't always head our dietary advice for her, even if I tell him exactly what to feed her....very frustrating.
3) He's very pushy about doing things for people - DD is VERY independent...painfully at times, but she will fight him tooth and nail over something like cutting her own eggs and I feel like it shouldn't be a battle - just let her cut the damn eggs! But he pushes and she gets very firm in telling him no and I have to step in (this is all before I leave for work) and it was/is a major issue potty training. She was on her way to being potty trained at 15mos until he stepped in forced her to sit on the potty when she didn't want to, potty phobia ensued....back on track now and has been basically pee trained since her birthday but he again scared her from pooping on the potty so she asks for a diaper. ::sigh:: We'll get there eventually but it's thing like this that make me think he's holding her back and she would suffer by staying at home vs being out with others.
4) She's incredibly bright and inquisitive and I feel like keeping her home with him is doing her a disservice. DH was leery when I mentioned she would be going full time at 3, but all things considered I think for her it's the best option. Not all kids need or should go tot school that young or at all. I do know people who have pulled their kids from public or private schools to homeschool and then send them back after a while.
So the compromise to home schooling that has worked for us is a Montessori/magnet style of learning that focuses on individual ability rather than conforming to a group so she will still get one on one and will be allowed to advance in the areas she wants and will get help in areas she needs.
You have to go with what you feel is best for your child - if that's not what others would do, well it's not their decision to make. Only you know your LO best and only you can chose what will work best. Don't sweat it! I've found more recently the more open I am about my decisions and the more I embrace them and am confident in myself for making them, people either walk away (and that's fine) or new people who've been waiting in the wings have stepped forward and are filling the gaps and hopefully it will lead to new friendships that can fill the real life gap!