As mentioned on Facebook, we are now in our transition to daycare and it is so much harder than I ever anticipated, so I thought it might be nice to have a thread discussing these kinds of changes in our lives right now, given that all our babies are now approaching one year (!).
For us, daycare will be three days per week (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday) through an organization with a location nearby, though still only accessible via public transit for us. It's not terribly convenient but it's a temporary place until June when we start at the place we really like that is essentially across the street from DH's work. This place is fine and all, but it's very "process oriented" so the babies don't really have that much structure and it feels to me like they're just wandering aimlessly around this huge room full of toys all day.
Our first day was Thursday where I stayed for the whole time for an hour, then we came back on Friday and I stayed for half an hour then left her there under their care for two hours. I was anticipating some sadness but what I got was uncontrollable guilt, anxiety, and sobbing... to a point where for the next two days I couldn't even let DH take her out to the store without me without feeling the crushing guilt again. I felt like I had abandoned her and put a serious scar on the relationship of complete trust that I have spent the past year creating with her. When I came to pick her up she had clearly been crying for some time but she was being cuddled by one of the workers and was mostly in a state of sniffling. Apparently she had been okay for a lot of the time but had been crying for the past twenty minutes or so, but they said she let them pick her up and comfort her, which is apparently a good sign that she'll transition well in the end. Regardless, it literally makes my stomach hurt to think about how I'm bringing her back there tomorrow (from morning until just after noon) and Wednesday (for the whole day).
How's everyone else doing with this? I know there are a couple mamas in this group who have already been dealing with this for a little while - how did you get through it?
I fully expect for this to get easier once I'm actually back at work, which starts Feb 3, since I'll be distracted and DH will be the one dropping her off while I get to be the one picking her up, but the next two days will be hell.