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Can't get my 10 month old to nap on his own

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

I'm really frustrated and need some advice.  My 10 month old will not nap during the day on his own.  He will only nap with me in my bed. He sleeps great through the night, but nap times are a different story.  I've tried the CIO method with him several times over the last 5 months, but he would end up screaming an hour or more.  I've been trying CIO again this week, but he still screams for 45 mins or more, and if I go in to try to settle him down it just makes things worse.  (He's a little red head and has the temper to go with it.)  Its heartbreaking to hear.  Plus when he does fall asleep, its for 20-30 mins at the most.  If I lay down with him he will sleep 2 hours in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.  Everyone keeps telling me he should be sleeping on his own by now for naps, or he will never be able to sleep on his own.  I don't mind laying down with him, I actually enjoy the time I spend with him while he naps.  I know eventually he will nap on his own, and have been enjoying the cuddle time while I can.  Is there any advice on when I should start having him nap on his own?  And how to go about it, because so far nothing has worked...

 

 

post #2 of 4
Welcome to Mothering tobeinEngland! We're glad you have joined us. It sounds like you enjoy napping with your son so maybe you don't need to change anything. People say he will never learn to nap on his own, but I doubt he will be 20 years old and still napping with you, He will figure it out eventually. If you have the time and it doesn't bother you, why not continue doing it? Infancy is such a small part of his life that will go by so fast. I am reading the No-Cry Nap Solution. It gives lots of tips for different situations you may encounter. One big piece of advice she gives is that if they way your child naps is not a problem for you then it is not a "sleep problem." She encourages you to not try to fix a "problem" just because other people tell you there is something wrong. She also co-slept and nursed her children so I feel her tips are useful if you do those things.

Are you able to sneak out after he falls asleep or does he wake up?

I also wanted to let you know that Mothering does not support CIO or any harsh sleep-training methods so you won't find discussion of that here. If you click on the Resources link in the box at the top of the forum homepage, you will find resources on sleep and nighttime parenting.
post #3 of 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by tobeinEngland View Post
 

Everyone keeps telling me he should be sleeping on his own by now for naps, or he will never be able to sleep on his own.

 

When my first child was born, he wouldn't nap for more than 20 minutes either unless someone was holding him and he was draped over a warm body. Since we had lots of family around at the time, there was always someone happy to hold him for the first few months. Eventually it was just me, but I didn't mine either. I read or watched tv or knitted and he slept soundly on top of me. Once in awhile I wondered if I would end up regretting the habit we'd formed, but I never had time to. It was just part of our life and by the time he was 2, he gave up napping entirely. Now he's 4 and sleeps 11 solid hours at night, pretty much never waking up unless he's sick. I don't regret the time I spent holding him while he slept as a baby and toddler and I definitely don't think he was damaged by it. In fact, I kind of miss it and think it helped make him the kind, loving, thoughtful preschooler he is now.

post #4 of 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by tobeinEngland View Post

If I lay down with him he will sleep 2 hours in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.  Everyone keeps telling me he should be sleeping on his own by now for naps, or he will never be able to sleep on his own. I don't mind laying down with him, I actually enjoy the time I spend with him while he naps.  I know eventually he will nap on his own, and have been enjoying the cuddle time while I can. 

You already figured out the answer and stated it so beautifully. Continue doing what works to fulfill his needs.
Welcome to the MDC.
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