I don't know if I need to vent or hear suggestions, but I'm just spent. DH and I have zero- ZERO- time to ourselves or time to spend with one another and it seems like that is just not going to change. We are both frustrated with this current situation and cannot figure out how to change it.
We have a almost 4 yo DS who is a wonderful, wonderful boy who also happens to have SPD. His SPD needs are definitely life altering for him, as well as us. We are constantly trying to keep up with his sensory needs throughout the day with a regular sensory diet, but he always requires 100% out of one of us. He cannot be left alone anywhere in the house, he does not really play on his own for any length of time, and many of his seeking behaviors are very physical and can be dangerous. If we leave the house, he needs to be in constant physical contact with one of us, as he bolts frequently. To say the least, taking care of him means you have to bring your A game.
Our 11 month old daughter is a pure joy. But she is terrified of anyone besides me and DH. Howls, cries, and is miserable around other adults. I know it is likely just a phase, but it certainly seems to be a long one. So having someone babysit her is pretty much out of the question. Besides that, at night she wakes every few hours and is only soothed by me (ok, and my boob).
So what on earth are we supposed to do? I would love a date with my husband, but I feel like we have no options. We have no family nearby. My inlaws live 40 minutes away, but they are no help and would not drive here to watch our children. Besides that, they have no idea how to care for our son.
We have a babysitter but there's no way she could safely put our son and daughter to sleep at night. I'm certain it is not possible. DH can't even put them both to bed. Its always me. Our son goes into extreme sensory overload when the nighttime routine is altered in any way.
We have one couple that we've been friends with forever and I know they are really upset that we don't go out with them anymore. They are childless and have a bit more freedom than us. How do I even explain our limitations to them? I've tried but it always comes out sounding lame.