I am not sure if there's a better place for this, if so, I apologize in advance.
I have two separate issues here that I could just use some support with. Just FYI, it's a little graphic.
Issue 1: I don't like being fingered by my s.o. much at all anymore. I feel like about a year ago, my sex drive and sexual preferences changed or shifted a little. On the one hand, my drive went WAY up. It was like my libido took off. On the other hand, I have become really sensitive down there. His fingers just feel too poky for me, for lack of a better description. He keeps his nails nice and short so that's not the problem. It almost gives me a creepy-crawly feeling when he does it sometimes, like I just can't stand it. The issue here is I am wondering how to bring it up without making it sound like I'm telling he's bad at it. I do still like it sometimes, but I have to be really aroused to enjoy it. I dislike it often enough that I feel like I should talk to him and tell him he should only do it if I say to, rather than just doing it by default, because telling him to stop sort of is a mood killer. I just don't know how to bring it up. We're very open about this sort of thing so that's not the problem, I just don't know how to not hurt his feelings or make him feel inadequate.
Issue 2: This is sort of related. I made the mistake of posting about this problem on a certain online forum, asking for advice. I got some good responses, and then I got a slough of people telling me, "OMG it's probably an infection, go see a gyno" and "you should be seeing one yearly anyway so bring it up next time", blah blah blah.
Honestly I have never seen a gyno and I never plan to. I am just not comfortable enough with it for it to be worth it. Any problem that I could have, I have such a low chance of it that I feel it is worth the low risk in exchange for not having a stranger grope my privates. It would just feel like sexual abuse to me. I wouldn't let some stranger do that, and I guess I can't justify one doing it simply because they have a medical license. I just would not handle it well mentally and I feel that the after effects of it all would be way way worse than dealing with extra sensitivity that probably has nothing to do with an infection and more to do with my libido shifting.
Furthermore, if I had an infection for a whole year, I think I would have some sort of idea that there was a problem. But really, is there such a thing as an infection that the only symptom is increased sensitivity? I would be really surprised if there was. I am in a completely monogamous relationship and any infection I can think of that I could just "get" would be like a yeast infection or something similar and I definitely don't have that.
It just upset me because some of the people who replied acted like I was crazy for not wanting to see a dr. I replied that I am really in tune with my body and I prefer non-traditional methods of healing. Might as well have gone running naked across the park for the way they replied to that. They really thought I was nuts. It's like to them, I'm a bad human being and a bad woman for not doing my duty to my body and going for an annual exam. I have always listened to my body and frankly, it responds better to holistic approaches. No, I don't go to the dr. like some people do. Why does that have to make me a loon?
Sorry for the rant. And I understand that not everyone here feels the same way, I just figured you all would be more understanding than the sheep I chose to confide in. Thanks for listening.