My son's father and I battled in court for custody, then visitation, in NY. Jurisdiction was and is in NY. I was, however, allowed to move back to my home state of MA during our court battle and given sole physical and legal custody, my son's father was given supervised visitation. This was two years ago and my son still has supervised visitation at the halfway point. Visitation is every 6-8 weeks for two hours. My son is now 3 years old. There is a history of abuse towards me and my older son (not the same father) and a history of threatening to kidnap my son, but so far, he's "been on his best behavior" during his supervised visitation. (I know this is just an act, but I'm not sure how to prove it- to the courts, he's gonna try to look like SuperDad being denied his child.) My son's father recently told me in an email that he plans on filing for unsupervised overnights next year when my son turns four. I cannot let this happen!
Not only will my son not be ready (he may have a sleep disorder- he does not sleep through the night, wakes sometimes 3-4 times during the night, takes forever to fall asleep, such a light sleeper, the slightest noise, light or change of routine wakes him, and more often than not, will SCREAM for an hour or more when he wakes in the night, and has been this way since birth), but my son's father has anger issues and a history of abuse and I'm afraid of what will happen to my son in a nighttime situation with no supervision and the child "not behaving" by waking.
I'm also afraid that as a "solution", my ex may try to cosleep with my son. When I was with him before my little one was born, he always slept naked, and then would use any and every excuse to leave the bedroom naked, even though I told him to put some clothes on, and then make sure my older son (then 15) saw him walking around naked, or he'd make some comment about us being "naked on the bed, but she made me put pants on to come out here", and when he changed his diapers, he would use excessive wiping in the boy-part area, lifting every part and moving it aside to make sure it's clean, etc, even for just pee, etc, something the supervisor interperated as him being a thourough, attentive Daddy, though my gut instinct tells me there was something weird about his fascination with my son's boy-parts or with my older son being pretty much told someone was having sex with his Mother. (And as a side note, he does have a history of that kind of abuse towards at least two women, though never been convicted.)
Also, my son's father brings home a string of women to have sex with and I have no doubt this will continue once he's alone with my son for overnights, and given his extremely casual stance on showing off he can get some, I'm worried he he will not only cosleep with my son, but cosleep naked, possibly with a random girlfriend (and possibly mistreat or abuse the child if he doesn't "cooperate" by sleeping).
Is there anything I can do to change jurisdiction before he brings it back to court next year (or whenever the urge hits him) for unsupervised visitation and/or overnights, or do I have to wait until he files, and then counter file? I have no reason to go back to court and can't afford it, so I can't file anything first, but since he's not interested at all in visitation in my home city, I strongly suspect if he had to file in MA to change anything, he won't bother, or at least for a long time, and I can buy at least a couple more years of my son having supervised visits.
Edited by kblackstone444 - 1/30/14 at 6:08am