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Moving- Good or bad?

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

We have the opportunity to move to another, more desirable area.  DH works from home and we can really relocate anywhere in the state.  I am trying to figure out if it is best for us or the kids.....

 

We moved to this town (fresno) 3 years ago right after DD2 was born to be closer to both sets of grandparents.  It has been awesome (DH expected WAY more out of his family, but I feel like it has worked out well.)  kids see grandparents on average at least 1 time per week, although, almost always very quick visits.  Where we lived before, we saw them 4-6 times per year.

 

Downside of the area we live now:  HOT in the summer, high cost for cooling.... super bad air quality, like in the top 10 for the country.  If DH lost his job, there is nothing in the area where he could bring in as much as he is now.  There is not really any great outdoor stuff (this is a big one for us as we love hiking/ running outside/ biking, etc)

 

Upside of where we live now:  MUCH lower COL, we are buying our house (we would have to rent if we moved, at least for 3-5 years), close to grandparents and DH's siblings/ nieces and nephews.  I love the charter homeschool DD1 attends.

 

There are 2 areas we are looking at, the place we came from before (San Diego) and where my sister lives (Monterey) and we have also lived there in college.  We like both places and they both have the outdoor stuff we like.  One is 6-8 hours away from family and a pretty brutal drive (through LA).  The other is a 2.5-3.5 hour drive and usually no traffic.  Both have better job opportunities for DH, but honestly, San Diego (our second choice) has WAY better/ higher paying jobs).  Also not sure about the homeschool opportunities in Monterey, San Diego has some great charters.

 

I am having a hard time figuring out if moving is best for our family and more importantly the kids.  The air quality thing has me worried and DH really misses the outdoor activities and doesn't feel at home here because of that.  My parents would move to where me and my sis live in (if we chose Monterey) 5 years, but DH's family will all be here forever.  

 

I am just not sure....   Do you think moving when kids are this little (will be 6, almost 4 and 1.5) is a problem at all?  Is it bad to take them away from the town their grandparents live in?  

post #2 of 6
What does your husband say? What does your gut tell you because only you could really make this difficult decision. Sending positive energy!
post #3 of 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama View Post
 

We have the opportunity to move to another, more desirable area.  DH works from home and we can really relocate anywhere in the state.  I am trying to figure out if it is best for us or the kids.....

 

We moved to this town (fresno) 3 years ago right after DD2 was born to be closer to both sets of grandparents.  It has been awesome (DH expected WAY more out of his family, but I feel like it has worked out well.)  kids see grandparents on average at least 1 time per week, although, almost always very quick visits.  Where we lived before, we saw them 4-6 times per year.

 

Downside of the area we live now:  HOT in the summer, high cost for cooling.... super bad air quality, like in the top 10 for the country.  If DH lost his job, there is nothing in the area where he could bring in as much as he is now.  There is not really any great outdoor stuff (this is a big one for us as we love hiking/ running outside/ biking, etc)

 

Upside of where we live now:  MUCH lower COL, we are buying our house (we would have to rent if we moved, at least for 3-5 years), close to grandparents and DH's siblings/ nieces and nephews.  I love the charter homeschool DD1 attends.

 

There are 2 areas we are looking at, the place we came from before (San Diego) and where my sister lives (Monterey) and we have also lived there in college.  We like both places and they both have the outdoor stuff we like.  One is 6-8 hours away from family and a pretty brutal drive (through LA).  The other is a 2.5-3.5 hour drive and usually no traffic.  Both have better job opportunities for DH, but honestly, San Diego (our second choice) has WAY better/ higher paying jobs).  Also not sure about the homeschool opportunities in Monterey, San Diego has some great charters.

 

I am having a hard time figuring out if moving is best for our family and more importantly the kids.  The air quality thing has me worried and DH really misses the outdoor activities and doesn't feel at home here because of that.  My parents would move to where me and my sis live in (if we chose Monterey) 5 years, but DH's family will all be here forever.  

 

I am just not sure....   Do you think moving when kids are this little (will be 6, almost 4 and 1.5) is a problem at all?  Is it bad to take them away from the town their grandparents live in?  

 

It sounds like you want to go to Monterey, right?  Is it just the better job opportunities in San Diego that are holding you back?  If I'm reading that all correctly, are you able to research the homeschooling opportunities in Monterey and get a better feel for the area by visiting a couple of times?  I know you said you had been there, but it will probably feel/seem different to you now than it did in college.  (You may have visited since, I'm not sure.)  I would probably do an extensive pro and con list, including numbering each item by importance.  It may help flesh out what's really important to you and your husband so you make the best move for your family.

 

As for the moving thing, I think it's a personal decision, but we would move our children at those ages if we had a good reason to do so (i.e. better opportunity, closer to family, etc.).

post #4 of 6
Thread Starter 
thanks for responding both of you. dh really prefers san diego and i love it there too. The long term job situation would most likely have us relocate to SD anyways, in 5-10 years. We moved here to be closer to family and that is the biggest thing holding me back. We have actually spent quite a bit of time in Monterey as well as San Diego and I think either would fill the other needs we have for a city....

I am nervous about moving the kids AWAY from family, instead of to be close. But, like I said, long term, we will have to move to another city with more tech stuff in a few years anyways, and with the air quality and other health stuff, better is good.

I think ultimately we have decided to stay put for 1-2 years then go to San Diego. The kids will be 7ish/ 5ish and 2.5 I think still young enough to go with the flow.
post #5 of 6

We've moved a bunch of times for my DH's job, and for the most part, kids are pretty easy to move until they are about 12 or so.

 

In thinking about moving away from family while your children are young, I would consider the impact it will have on YOU. If you are used to having childcare for dates, to go to the dentist, etc. Really think through the massive switch to being in a city where you don't know a soul you are comfortable leaving your kids with. Because of our frequent moves, it was far harder for me to have time to myself (even for basics like a well woman check) or for my DH and I to spend time one on one. It's not just about taking your kids away from granny, it's about leaving behind your support network.

post #6 of 6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post
 

We've moved a bunch of times for my DH's job, and for the most part, kids are pretty easy to move until they are about 12 or so.

 

In thinking about moving away from family while your children are young, I would consider the impact it will have on YOU. If you are used to having childcare for dates, to go to the dentist, etc. Really think through the massive switch to being in a city where you don't know a soul you are comfortable leaving your kids with. Because of our frequent moves, it was far harder for me to have time to myself (even for basics like a well woman check) or for my DH and I to spend time one on one. It's not just about taking your kids away from granny, it's about leaving behind your support network.

 

This, this, and this.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama View Post

thanks for responding both of you. dh really prefers san diego and i love it there too. The long term job situation would most likely have us relocate to SD anyways, in 5-10 years. We moved here to be closer to family and that is the biggest thing holding me back. We have actually spent quite a bit of time in Monterey as well as San Diego and I think either would fill the other needs we have for a city....

I am nervous about moving the kids AWAY from family, instead of to be close. But, like I said, long term, we will have to move to another city with more tech stuff in a few years anyways, and with the air quality and other health stuff, better is good.

I think ultimately we have decided to stay put for 1-2 years then go to San Diego. The kids will be 7ish/ 5ish and 2.5 I think still young enough to go with the flow.

 

Whoops, I got that wrong.  I saw "second choice" and made the assumption.  Anyway, I think that sounds like a nice plan because it gives you some time to think about it more.

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