or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

good news bad news

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

last night my gf 8 month pregnant sister brought her pit bull over to our house, her mother told her the dog needs to get fixed before the baby, so talking about genital mutilation I asked if they decided what they would do about the penis she said they are going to circ.  I tried to give her a few reasons not to but shes too hard headed and mainstream,  but she was just talking about how she doesnt have equal bc its bad for the baby ( I wanted to comment on that but didnt) So I asked her if her or her husband would watch the circ.  She said no thats too  "sad".  But i asked her if my gf (her sister) would possibly be able to observe that way she can be there to support the baby.  She wasnt against it and said she would ask her dr.  I think that would be good that way if the child is gna be mutilated my gf can see how awful it is and hopefully change her mind and save us a fight down the road.  Then in 20 years i can tell their son his pain and loss was not in vain that some good came of it.  Do you think that the hospital will allow my gf to observe the circ she will be there for the birth?

post #2 of 16

Most hospitals don't allow it, although I know people in my area who have watched. 

post #3 of 16

I would think that if the mom or dad wanted to go with the baby they'd allow that... my brother went with his son... came out saying it was the most awful thing ever, but that at least he "looks good." pffffttt.  I don't think they should do circs without a parent present to witness what is happening to their child.

post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
It just sucks watching her sister think she's doing everything right and not hurting the baby. I am just worried about my gf she's gna be a great mom but how do I tell her that no matter
What she thinks she's wrong and I can't allow that to happen to my child. On my fathers side of
The family my gparents married in 1941 and no child on that side has ever been mutilated and
I certainly don't want to be the first.
post #5 of 16
I think you should think carefully about your plan. It is deceitful to have a hidden agenda and to lie about why you want her to be there. If this will be your strategy, it suggests that you need better communication skills and to have this issue better discussed before you get married.

While I cannot do anything about you having that discussion, I can point you to a great resource in communication:

http://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Edition/dp/0071771328

I highly recommend it, for everyone.

Regards
post #6 of 16

I'm not clear from this whether you've tried actually talking directly to your gf about your feelings about circumcision. Did you try this and how did the conversation go?

post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 
Yes I have spoken directly with her. No matter what reasons I give her she just shrugs it off she thinks that infections will happen but she won't look anything up she just thinks I'm making a big deal over nothing and its not that bad. I think it's disrespectful to me bc it's like saying the way u are isn't good enough for our child and that hurts me
post #8 of 16

But you said you are intact, right? Do you suffer from all kinds of infections??? Sorry, I don't know how serious you and your girl friend are, if you really plan on having children one day. But this is one of the few things I would *not* budge on and I'd make that known in advance. There is no way in the world I would ever consider marrying or having children with someone hell bent on circumcising. It would definitely be a deal breaker to me.

post #9 of 16
I was present for my second sons circ. it was at the peds office and I probably could have had someone with me. My then 7yo D's was out in the hall.

FTR,I am now against RIC!
post #10 of 16
Thread Starter 
Yes I'm intact and never had any infection nobody on my fathers side ever has, yes we are serious, when her sister has
Her child i am gna remind my gf that she will never have a child with me that is mutilated
post #11 of 16
Thread Starter 
Ok my gf sister will be induced probably this Thursday or Friday
I am prob going to go to the hospital to see the baby, how should I
Handle the situation in terms w my frustration and sadness about the circ?
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by duh477 View Post

Ok my gf sister will be induced probably this Thursday or Friday
I am prob going to go to the hospital to see the baby, how should I
Handle the situation in terms w my frustration and sadness about the circ?

I really don't know what to tell you.  I don't participate in this kind of thing.  Dh knows not to tell me when babies-to-be-cut are born.  I can't handle it.  I can't sleep thinking about it.  My nephew that I'll never know (my brother disowned me because I don't put up w/ his BS games) is going to be kicked out of his mother (repeat cesarean) on the 14th.  I'm trying really hard to forget it.  I'm pretty sure he'll be cut.  I have to occupy my mind to not think about it.  I couldn't go to the hospital & not say something.  I tried when my brother had his first boy & I don't know what they decided to do.  I imagine they just decided I was crazy.  Funny, they're the crazy ones.

 

Anyway, personally, I'd stay away & try to get as few details as possible.  But that's just how I protect myself.

 

Best wishes,

Sus

post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 

the other part that makes me angry is they want everyone to get shots to protect the baby,  I live w my gf and her mother so if they really want me to get it I will,  But i have already made it clear to them thats it rediculous to get shots to protect the baby.  So once the child is mutilated and brought home then its time to start protecting them.  I really want my gf to watch the circ but i dont think she will.  She will be over her house for the first few weeks helping with the baby so I think i want to stop by and see how bad the damage is and reinforce to my gf that this isnt happening to our child.  I wish we could just have all girls!

post #14 of 16
Thread Starter 
The poor baby will be born in a few hours, but my gf gave in finally and said we don't
Have to circ, I still would rather have girls. I told her when she holds this baby to ask herself
Is he perfect so hopefully that will reinforce it!
post #15 of 16
Thread Starter 
My gf sister had the baby mutilated on Sunday I almost went to the hospital
Sat night bc I wanted a pic w the whole baby but I realized I couldn't emotionally
Handle it, I went to the house to see him tonite when I was holding him he pooped his
Diaper and I got nervous bc I didn't want it to get his wound infected. They went to change
Him and I wanted to get a chance to see the damage but didnt get to I heard him scream for
20 minutes, then I saw a list on the counter that had only gauze and vasoline on it so I ran out without
Telling them and got them just bc I figured they weren't prepared. I'm just glad my gf finally caved
And said that we can keep our kids whole, I think I finally have shown her how awful
And unnecessary it is
post #16 of 16

thats SUPER that you could come to agreement like this before you have kids :)  very wonderful!

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Understanding Circumcision