or Connect
Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › 1 year discussion thread

1 year discussion thread

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 

okay mamas-

 

how has life changed for you in 1 year?

what is the most rewarding aspect of being a mother, for you?

 

first baby-- how has your emotional dynamic shifted, if at all? do you look at mothers in a different light? at babies? at yourself?

 

more than one baby--what challenges do you face as a growing family? plans for more children or not? 

 

of course you can/should answer both of the 1 or 2+ kid questions! 

 

these are loaded questions, but since it's been a year for our babies this month, and we have all been together through our beautiful journeys for longer, they are great questions and i think hearing what other mamas have/are going through will help with our ever-changing lives.

 

i'll write later after some thinking. 

love to you all.

post #2 of 9
I want to come back and respond to this, but I need to think about it first. Good questions KB smile.gif
post #3 of 9

I was just about to make a February thread and then realized that it's one year and Kelly Beth already has this great thread going! Of course we're the late comers to the baby party as A doesn't turn 1 for another 6 weeks. This time last year I was about to lose my mind. 

 

Life is different. It's fuller, there's more love, more tender moments in each day. My husband and I are so deeply in love with this baby and that has just made us happier as a family. There have been bumps and steep learning curves but I think we're coming out on top at last. 

 

I'm learning to accept my failures and celebrate the successes and have found that the sum of these imperfect parts is my parenting style. It's rewarding to feel part of this new family unit and know where I sit within it. 

 

I want more babies!

post #4 of 9
how has life changed? well, we did HAVE A BABY and also moved to a very rural small town for my husband to start clinicals. life is different in every way, it seems, big and small. my heart has changed, my outlook has changed. I'm softer, more empathetic, more patient. our days are slower and have this intentional, reflective quality about them. our minds are always on our daughter and her future. the most rewarding thing about motherhood is getting to know this devilish little creature of mine in all her quirky glory. I'm not just "a" mom- I'm HER mom smile.gif

Emotional dynamic shift? Yes. Totally. I'm just waaaaaaay more open and forgiving- like, I see the way other people mother versus the way I mother and I just don't think there's a "right" way anymore. I also was never much interested in babies before, but now I think they're amazing. Lastly, I'm tougher in the ways that matter. I've entered matriarch mama bear mode, and would die defending my family. Which is handy because lately I've been dealing with a lot of bogus advice from MJ's healthcare providers.... And I know how to protect her. I feel very confident in that now, in being her advocate.

Challenges/growth as a family. We are openly discussing how to space our next child. There's a lot to consider. I'd like for Margot to have time to be my baby and continue nursing etc. but I'd also like for her to have the gift of a sibling relatively close in age. I'd like to really get into a better groove, sleep wise and health wise for all of us before I become pregnant again. And we're also working around DH's training schedule. I'd like NOT to be due with a baby in the middle of a potential cross country move (we'll likely move sometime in May/June of 2015, if we must relocate for medical residency... And I don't want to have a newborn or be heavily pregnant that summer!!). So, we think we're aiming for conceiving anytime after Match Day 2015 (next Feb/March, when we find out what residency program DH matched to....) We do practice NFP so we're leaving our options open for sooner. But to us, a three year spacing sounds ideal!
post #5 of 9

I so agree with what WWW and Typebug have said-- I am loving being a mom (even though it is Capital H Hard!) and have become a better person because of it.  I am truly, truly thrilled to be a mom to Miss L.  The only way in which I differ... I am really not sure I want any more!

post #6 of 9

Oops!  Started to post pics before I saw the other thread!

post #7 of 9

how has life changed for you in 1 year?

 

Well, Liam is 1 year old today.  He is just such a cute, energetic, loving little boy.  I love having 3 kids, but it is a little harder than I thought.  I had a SUPER hard time with the transition from 1-2 and I thought 2-3 was going to be a piece of cake compared to that (everyone says so.....) and while it was easier, and I didn't have PPD as bad this time, it was still so hard.  It is also so wonderful.  The girls love Liam so much and I love seeing DD1 really take an interest and being so helpful and engaged.  

 

what is the most rewarding aspect of being a mother, for you?

 

I love seeing them playing together.  I love reading to the girls while nursing DS.  I love it when DD1 or DD2 tells me or DH or DS that they love us.  It is so special.  I love them all so much and love it when DS goes out of his way to play with the girls.  They are just so cute together.  I love snuggling with all of them and DS is so so good at snuggling!

 

first baby-- how has your emotional dynamic shifted, if at all? do you look at mothers in a different light? at babies? at yourself?

 

3rd baby, but holy cow, emotions run high whenever we add another, whether it is 1, 2, or 3.  DH gets less time, DDs have more independent play time, I feel maxed out most of the time.  But, I still have this great desire to have another.  

 

more than one baby--what challenges do you face as a growing family? plans for more children or not? 

 

Yup, I find I am just pretty overwhelmed most of the time.  We do homeschool and i have all the kids with me ALLLLLLLLL the time, so I think I get to my breaking point.  I am super excited about a local parenting class I am signed up for.  It is called 'joyful parenting'... I am super excited as I feel I don't really use all the tools I can, and am just in survival mode some times.  Wish me luck!  Starts in a few weeks.  DH and I are in a standstill about future kids.  I think he is pretty done, but I would like one more.  Time will tell (Fertility returns at 16ish months and we have not started using protection, so that leads me to believe an Oops wouldn't be the end of the world.)

post #8 of 9

I'm going to try here - but i don't even know if i can answer all of these...

 

how has life changed for you in 1 year?  this was #4 - but life has changed a lot, #4 threw us over some ledge into  a world where my kids are no longer portable .. It is HARD to go anywhere, it is hard to shop or even just go outside to play .. getting everyone to put on shoes in less than 20 mins is nearly impossible.

 

what is the most rewarding aspect of being a mother, for you? 

 

first baby-- how has your emotional dynamic shifted, if at all? do you look at mothers in a different light? at babies? at yourself?

 

I do look at mothers differently - but i'm not sure quiet how - i get a lot of crap from other moms, like they pick on me, 'ha ha, you have so many babies' (not exactly, but like that) .. 'i just couldn't do that..  too many babies'   and a lot of it, iv'e been told, is because i appear to have it all together.. (hahahahaaa)

 

more than one baby--what challenges do you face as a growing family? plans for more children or not?  

 

this year has been a challenge - the personalities of my 2 youngest are both challenging and it is hard to have time for both of them ..  it doesn't bother me the way it would have with the first 2, but it is hard to juggle them...

 

that being said I want another baby.. i don't even know why or how or when... i just know that i do and i want more after that and i don't know how that will work or how i'll do it or how everyone else or DH will feel about it - or how i will turn off this desire if it doesn't work out... I feel like i've gone completely insane.. but i've always said i like being busy, this motherhood/homeschooling gig does that ;)  I am going to be super bored when they get bigger .. 

 

 

post #9 of 9

Hi mamas! Been a little while since I logged in and it's good to read your updates :). 

 

how has life changed for you in 1 year?

 

Going from 2 to 3 was easier than 1 to 2 honestly. But I have to say, I'm happy Lou is now reaching toddler age :). I find this easier. It's absolutely beautiful how much my older boys enjoy their baby brother and the love they show him floors me every day. Recently I made the change to working full-time and it's mostly been positive. But there is a little sadness. Really, nothing is perfect and everything is almost always okay.

 

what is the most rewarding aspect of being a mother, for you?

Watching their minds grow and expand. And again, seeing the brother relationships deepen. I want them all to be best friends for life, like my sister and I are. 

 

more than one baby--what challenges do you face as a growing family? plans for more children or not? 

 

Oh, well, money and space. Those are the challenges. And my time and attention for each of them individually as they crave it. That's been the most difficult challenge for me since adding Lou. Finding the time to give each the attention they need. I continue to work on it. But at least I know they all feel my love. And as for more kids, no! Haha. I knew since I was a kid that I'd have three boys. I have them. They are great. A tiny part of me doesn't want to cut off the possibility of one more... but I know in my soul these are my children and no more souls will grace me. That's what I say now at least ;). 

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: February 2013 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › 1 year discussion thread