First off I want to say I am sorry you are going through this. Bed rest is tough. Especially when you have other children to care for.
I am in my 6th week of bed rest and 17 weeks pregnant with #6. I have a large subchorionic hemorrhage that has bled since 11 weeks. I absolutely feel where you are coming from. My children range from 12yo down to 18mths. The 3 oldest are at school during the day while my husband works so the 4yo and 18mth old are alone with me, I do not have family help often. An occasional meal has been brought over and my sisters each did the dishes once but overall it has been a huge adjustment for us as a family but we have come a long way.
In the beginning it was chaos. The whole house was turned upside down and everyone was emotional. With good reason. I have always taken care of all the house work, cooking and making sure the children were cared for. It became ever clear that things were going to have to change big time if we were to survive this.
First off, I suggest talking one on one with your husband about your biggest concerns just to be sure he knows how you are feeling. I have found that my husband simply wasn't aware of some of the things he needed to do. Taking some time to put away unsafe things and "child proof" things while he is in charge. That helped us tremendously as DH wasn't the best at keeping a watchful eye on the little ones. He now keeps doors closed and locked to rooms they shouldn't be in ( bathroom, office and such) to prevent messes and accidents.
The rooms they are allowed in are absolute disasters. But safe still. And I don't obsess abt the mess bc I know it can be cleaned up when things are better. Until then they can play and enjoy themselves and I don't have to stress. We also moved our mattress to the living room so that I can be out where they are playing during the day and feel involved while still resting. It works very well. Some days we nap there together. I keep a basket of books to read with them by the bed. A few movies to entertain. My phone and the laptop are a must
This is by far the most time I have spent really watching them play. Listening to their little conversations. Seeing things from their level. Literally.
As for food for myself and the kids during the day I have DH buy easy to fix foods such as deli meat, bread, string cheese, cereal bars, yogurt, fruit and so on. He could even have your sandwiches premade before leaving for work. Bottled water is good to have on hand and a sippy cup or two nearby. Paper plates and plastic silverware IMO are a must for the time being. It is less stress on him with cleanup after meals and less dishes.
I make the grocery list still and it helps a lot. Supper is pretty repetitive but that's ok. I have him make things he is good at and fairly simple/ kid friendly. Spaghetti, tacos, bfast for supper, frozen pizza, beans and rice. He has gotten really good at cooking and making plates and seems to enjoy his new found skills lol. He does one load of laundry a day so that things don't fall behind. He will bring me the dirty clothes and i sort them and let him know what temp and cycle to use. I also fold the laundry when it's done but he puts everything away. My older girls help with all the above mentioned sometimes.
As for cleaning I won't lie. The house is nothing like it used to be but that's ok. I focus on having him keep the truly important things in order and sanitary. Kitchen sink and counters, bathroom, floors swept and spot cleaned. The other rooms are locked so they don't get too bad off. Bath time is not daily anymore but they are clean enough. Every other day was is working well. In between I use baby wipes for dirty hands, faces and feet
I hope this isn't too much rambling. I hope that something I have shared might be helpful. what I've learned is some days will be hard but that's ok. Its temporary. You won't be on bed rest forever. And as the days pass you, the children and your husband will all adjust. And in the end be closer and stronger. It has been eye opening to say the least. I am learning more about myself and think I will permanently stress less abt the little things. I don't have to do it all every day. It's ok to let things slide sometimes. Hubby really sees and appreciates more all that I do. The kids are all learning to help more and it is becoming habit. We are all working together. It's a beautiful thing. And in the end a perfect blessing we will have.
I wish you and your family the best. I hope that the contrx calm themselves soon. Lots of water, relax, breath. Take care of you and little one inside