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do you wear make-up?

post #1 of 45
Thread Starter 

my whole adult life I was pretty against the idea of makeup in general.  I would wear it on special occasions, but that amounted to once or twice a year- and even then it was scant.  fast forward to me at 35 with a 15 mo.  after her unexpected stay in NICU after birth, and then the exhausting month of pumping around the clock while we tried to establish BF (and did BTW :) I felt spent!  every time I caught a glimpse of my tired face, it made me feel even more tired.  I will admit (coupled with the baby weight) my self esteem began to waver.  It all stared with a little tinted moisturizer (who would know?).  I started carving out time for more self care and my makeup routine grew to include sparkly eye shadow, mascara, and a little brow pencil!  I now love my make up routine (it only takes about 5 minutes) and I feel like I am decorating and honoring myself, each sparkle a reminder of how awesome it is to give birth and raise a child!  I feel like I am bringing out my inner Goddess!  now, I have always considered my self a pretty crunchy hippie, but now sometimes, when I am around other crunchy mamas, or I run into old friends who are seriously shocked to see me adorned in makeup, I feel embarrassed, and totally inadequate among my fellow hippie mamas!  I use natural, vegan, makeup and really don't put that much on.   In college I had a radical feminist philosophy teacher who wore makeup (lots), heals, the whole nine yards, and she always said that as a feminist it was her right to express herself how ever she felt and as a woman she had the right to not be judged for it.  I always liked that.  So, anyone else wear makeup?  Ever feel guilty about it?

post #2 of 45

I wear makeup every single day. I didn't always used to either. My routine sounds similar to yours but I do love my lipstick and eyeliner these days. Who knew?! It takes me 10 minutes after my shower to dress, put on my makeup, and comb out my hair. It's 10 minutes that make my day.

 

I was trying to explain to DH yesterday after he asked why I put on lipstick on Sunday morning when I wasn't going anywhere. For me, it isn't about anyone else and me wanting to "look pretty" for them. I want to feel good about myself and for me, my eyeliner and lipstick put a little pep in my step. My days are long and hard. We've got multiple special needs among my children. I make hard decisions every day. Tomorrow isn't going to be any better. Neither is next year. And if a 5 dollar tube of lipstick is going to put a smile on my face for a while then so be it. 

 

And yes, I've gotten the comments or the looks that I wear makeup so I must not be a feminist or crunchy enough. It did used to bother me, but I don't care anymore. I'm all about what gets me or who ever it is, through that very day.

post #3 of 45
I wear makeup most of the time. Powder, blush, brow pencil, and mascara is my everyday basic routine. I'll add eyeshadow and liner if I'm being fancy. wink1.gif I live in an image-conscious area though, so if anything I feel less made up than many women in my area. I certainly never feel guilty for wearing it. Sometimes I wish I had a fancier makeup arsenal and was more adept at applying it, but I never get around to actually buying better makeup or learning more about it.

I agree with your teacher though, that part of feminism is accepting the uber-girly among us, not insisting that everyone shun that side of their personality.
post #4 of 45

I have three variations:

~no make-up

~mascara and blush

~eyeliner (put on the outer upper lids and lower lids), mascara and blush and for going out I may add some Burt's Bees tinted lip balm

 

I often wear no make up if I'm just getting stuff done at home or errands and stuff.

I always wear the mascara/blush variation when I go to work (about 2-4x/week) and sometimes with eyeliner. And some days I do feel more empowered or better about myself if I put on some make up even if I'm not going anywhere. When I'm on vacation I usually don't wear it except maybe for going out but even then I usually don't. Somehow the relaxed vibe of beach and nature doesn't inspire me to put on make up.

 

I had some years in my 20s where I wore no make up and that was great. But once I started a professional career I felt it was appropriate to wear some. Now, at 40, after having done some self-awareness work I realized I did feel more in my power and a stronger vibe of myself and my sexuality when I wore the eyeliner. So I do it now and it feels great!

 

I think make up is such a personal thing and every woman has her own relationship to it, and it means something different to each person. I used to be more narrow-minded about it but now I see that it really is something different for everyone and it's impossible to say what it means if a woman does or doesn't wear it.

post #5 of 45
How do you ladies deal with your little ones seeing you put on makeup? I have a 16 month old DD who sometimes is with me during the 5-10 min it takes me to do my makeup. I am starting to see her imitate me with her rubbing my makeup brushes on her face. For some reason this makes me sad. I don't want her to think she needs makeup or to think it's cool. I know I didn't start wearing it until after HS. Do I stop with the makeup, only put it on when she's not around, thoughts/suggestions please!
post #6 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthmoma View Post

How do you ladies deal with your little ones seeing you put on makeup? I have a 16 month old DD who sometimes is with me during the 5-10 min it takes me to do my makeup. I am starting to see her imitate me with her rubbing my makeup brushes on her face. For some reason this makes me sad. I don't want her to think she needs makeup or to think it's cool. I know I didn't start wearing it until after HS. Do I stop with the makeup, only put it on when she's not around, thoughts/suggestions please!

I had these same worries, but then my sister said something really great.  She said its important for little girls to see their mothers taking care of themselves and feeling confident.  (Now, this obviously doesn't have to involve make up, but it can).  I have been thinking about the makeup thing for a while because its new to me, but also because I am setting an example for my baby.  My plan is to,

1.  be care free about it, meaning some days I will intentionally not wear make up when we all go out so she can see its not that important.

2.  explain (when she is old enough to understand) that women have been decorating themselves for thousands of years to celebrate being women, and she can decorate herself when she is a grown up too :)

3.  make it clear that women don't decorate themselves for other people, only for themselves

4.  consistently demonstrate to her that women are smart, strong, and independent and can do what ever they want in life regardless of how they look.  In other words focus more on values and less on little stuff like make up.  

post #7 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by P.J. View Post

 

 

 Somehow the relaxed vibe of beach and nature doesn't inspire me to put on make up.

 

I think make up is such a personal thing and every woman has her own relationship to it, and it means something different to each person. I used to be more narrow-minded about it but now I see that it really is something different for everyone and it's impossible to say what it means if a woman does or doesn't wear it.

I'm never compelled to wear makeup in nature either!  It is interesting how social situations and environment can change how we perceive ourselves.

I too used to be more narrow minded about women who wore makeup (or more specifically my opinion of what make up itself stood for), and you have made me think about all the times I feel judged in my makeup... maybe those women have not yet evolved in their view of other women, or what it can mean to celebrate ones self through decoration! :)

post #8 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthmoma View Post

How do you ladies deal with your little ones seeing you put on makeup? I have a 16 month old DD who sometimes is with me during the 5-10 min it takes me to do my makeup. I am starting to see her imitate me with her rubbing my makeup brushes on her face. For some reason this makes me sad. I don't want her to think she needs makeup or to think it's cool. I know I didn't start wearing it until after HS. Do I stop with the makeup, only put it on when she's not around, thoughts/suggestions please!


This concerned me too, and I usually apply makeup (like powder and maybe mascara) and do my hair only once I am at work.  This is partly for practical reasons - I walk and my hair would be all messed up anyway when I got there, but also my kids are still young, both girls, and I love how asexual (or non-gendered?) they are.  One is in kindergarten, but has an awesome teacher where princess stuff and girl vs boy things aren't on the radar, so I want to keep it that way for a while longer for her. 

 

I'm not ashamed of wearing makeup - like others who have posted I've gone through phases of less and more and right now it's pretty minimal - but I just am not  interested in that being a "thing" that my girls identify with me right now.  If my kids notice my makeup, I respond honestly and positively, and they see my necklaces and earrings, but I don't make make-up a part of my home routine. I don't see wearing makeup as being un-feminist, though the messages of the fashion/makeup industry are sometimes questionable.  Sometimes I wonder why I wear it, but I think some of it is because it is time I spend on me!  That time is pretty infrequent, and I like to check in with myself, and, check myself out! :wink

post #9 of 45
I wouldn't make too much of your dd pretending. Both of my girls pretended to put it on, esp loved the tiny brushes, and I haven't worn makeup since my wedding (19 yrs ago-ack!).
I see nothing wrong with it and certainly don't judge people who wear it. I just know nothing about how to buy or apply it and figure no makeup is better than badly done makeup! Annnd I'm very lazy about stuff like that...clean and brushed hair is as good as I can do most days.
post #10 of 45

I'm fifty-one this year and have been pretty minimalist.  At this point it's foundation, powder, lipstick, and often lip liner.  Have glasses and don't do the eyes, mascara for special occasions.  Though I'm going to look at using eyeliner after a PP's remark about power, I really like that.

 

My sons were, I think, pretty unaware of my makeup use-or-not-use.  When they were young it was just lipstick and powder . . . same as now, basically, just more depth now.  One time when DS2 was a teenager and saw me putting on powder, he asked why I did and that he couldn't tell the difference.  I said something like I could tell, and that I liked the way it feels.

 

I'm an introvert and kind of think of it as armor.  Maybe not to hide behind, but to solidify, somehow, if that makes any sense.

post #11 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaMadly View Post
 

 

 

I'm an introvert and kind of think of it as armor.  Maybe not to hide behind, but to solidify, somehow, if that makes any sense.

OP here, I am an introvert too, I wonder if that has something to do with feeling better in a little make up now that I socialize WAY more than I ever "had" too (play dates with LO).  interesting!

post #12 of 45

I used to wear make-up every day...light for work, as I had an office job for many years, and very heavy for weekends or evening outings. (My weekend/evening style was very reminiscent of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, although I used more colours of eyeshadow, and the end result wasn't quite as bright.)

 

I don't wear it these days. Eye make-up was always my favourite, and it bugs my eyes now. I don't really like wearing lipstick, unless it's part of a whole look. I think the last time I put any make-up on was my anniversary last September (and I only used a tiny bit of eyeshadow and some mascara), and the time before that was the preceeding anniversary. I wore eye make-up, a hint of blusher and lipstick for that one, but it was our tenth anniversary. Other than ds1's grad banquest (June, 2011), I think that's it for make-up in the last 5-10 years...a bit of lipstick at my year-end choir show last year, I think.

 

I skimmed the replies before I posted and saw a couple references to introversion and armor. I defintiely used it that way when I was younger, which is part of why my look was so over the top. If people were looking at "the look", they weren't looking at me. (In addition to introversion, I've always had issues with social anxiety and self-consciousness.)

post #13 of 45

Rarely.  However, as I have aged, I have started thinking about it.  I do like the way I look better when I put a bit on.  I think my self-confidence about my appearance could use a boost (even if it is created through makeup).  I don't want to wear a lot, but I am thinking about it more and more.

 

Amy

post #14 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by gardendweller View Post
 

My plan is to,

1.  be care free about it, meaning some days I will intentionally not wear make up when we all go out so she can see its not that important.

2.  explain (when she is old enough to understand) that women have been decorating themselves for thousands of years to celebrate being women, and she can decorate herself when she is a grown up too :)

3.  make it clear that women don't decorate themselves for other people, only for themselves

4.  consistently demonstrate to her that women are smart, strong, and independent and can do what ever they want in life regardless of how they look.  In other words focus more on values and less on little stuff like make up.  

And, until relatively recently, men as well.  Must have went out when naturalism became the fashion--out with wigs and makeup and corsets for a while-- and never really caught on again amongst men.  Anyway, I personally wouldn't say "to celebrate being women" to my girls, but I do comment what is fashionable at the moment.  Older girls might get a kick seeing how makeup has its own fashion evolution over the decades.  It's fun--same way as hair styles and clothes, but also with the same pitfalls of self-worth.  I hope that makes sense

 

That said, I don't wear make-up, ever, but I don't judge others as being less-than-natural because they do, because "natural" is not my primary motivation--it's really based on laziness.  I do, however, judge a little when women don't feel confident enough to go without--ever-- but I know that's a little silly.  I feel just as awkward when I have put on make-up in the past and really I shouldn't.  Somehow we've connected it with insecurity, but that impression is strengthened when women start wearing it because they feel frumpy instead of "wow, I love this whole look together".  

 

Anyway.... thoughts.

post #15 of 45
I wear a little for fun sometimes and so does my dd. We are nail polish junkies and enjoy a little mascara, eye shadow, and lipstick along with it.
post #16 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post
 

  Anyway, I personally wouldn't say "to celebrate being women" to my girls,

 

 

 

why not?  I think its a great way to look at self adornment!  Its much more positive than saying its for self esteem, or for men, or to fit in to current trends!  just my opinion :)

post #17 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by gardendweller View Post

 

why not?  I think its a great way to look at self adornment!  Its much more positive than saying its for self esteem, or for men, or to fit in to current trends!  just my opinion :)

Hmmm... I guess I'm coming at it from makeup throughout history, which only recently has makeup been for women.  I like to put things in perspective when questions like "why don't boys wear dresses/ why do women wear makeup" get asked, and the answer is "fashion", basically because both of those things have become exclusive to girls/women only recently (and in other cultures still, just not western culture).  For me, to answer otherwise would to imply that there is some deep, biological reason for the distinction, which there isn't.  

 

And I *personally* wouldn't wear it to celebrate being a woman, but since I also see it as self-adornment, I can see how someone else might see that as celebrating being a woman, but that's not why I get dressed in any particular way either.  So, in that sense, as odd as it sounds, the answer for why is the same for why not, but opposite.  :dizzy 

post #18 of 45

No, I can't be bothered.  I don't want the expense, it's extra time, and my skin is oily anyway so it fades off quickly.

 

As I've gotten older, I've invested more in cleaning/moisturizing my face, and using sunscreen.  And just being healthier in general (lots of water, exercise, sauna/hydrotherapy).

 

It's just not something I want on me.  Partially for the baggage with growing up (even now my mom will not set foot outside the house without pancaking it on and fumigating herself with aquanet, but she's a southern lady of a certain age, she told me I "needed" to wear make up starting at 12, ect), but mostly because I really can't be assed to do something I don't enjoy at my age.  I already spent too many years being good and doing everything I was supposed to.  I'm getting better about not bothering with things I don't like and that ultimately nobody's going to care if I do or not (unless they're a tool).  :)  I don't have a problem with people doing whatever they want with makeup.  I like looking at the creative things some folks do.  Whatever makes 'em happy.

post #19 of 45
Thread Starter 
All these deep emotions surrounding the use of cosmetics is so interesting to me!

Sweetsilver, I see where you are approaching the issue from, but I gotta point out that I know a lot guys who wear makeup currently for different reasons (some for artistic reasons and some for fashion and some for gender identity)! So my answer to why do women put on makeup is different than if dd asked why boys wear makeup! LOL!

Tigerchild, interesting that your mom pushed makeup on you! I grew up with the opposite! Isn't amazing how much of the way we live can be traced back to our mothers?! It really pushes me to be a better person every day!
post #20 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by gardendweller View Post



So my answer to why do women put on makeup is different than if dd asked why boys wear makeup! LOL!

 

Every answer I find to questions regarding makeup or certain clothing or hair styles (all issues of self-adornment) bring up logical difficulties, I find.  If it's because you celebrate being a woman, for example, then when you don't where makeup is that the opposite?  Is it somehow better to be a woman than a man and therefore you celebrate?  Do I have to wear makeup to be considered a woman?  (Not so silly a question for the youngest set.)

 

I could think of more, but I think those illustrate my point, which is why the only answer for makeup for me (if I ever decided to wear it again), especially when asked, is:

 

1.  It's fun!  

 

2.  When I'm having fun with something, I'm happy.  So this is something that makes me happy.

 

3.  I really like the way it looks on me.  See #2.

 

The answer is the same for my clothes.  These would be good answers for men and women, and better still, avoids some of the logical outcomes of other statements.

 

I know I'm nitpicking this one point.  I don't think makeup is inherently a big deal one way or another, but I do cringe when sometimes when it gets mixed up with gender identity without the context of fashion.  It is the basic fashion of our times for women to wear makeup, not men.  Same as dresses and high heels.  There is nothing more *inherently* significant to it than that.  (Some individuals doing otherwise do not a fashion make.....yet....)  One could get into the modern morality of gender identity defining those fashions, but that's a can of worms I can do without opening.  For now.  Until someone else starts a thread about it.  :p

 

OK, I promise I've rambled enough on such mental munchies and I'll give your thread back to you now.  :blowkiss 

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