I know it's been covered several times, and I've read many of the older threads, but I'm posting to see if anyone has any other concrete examples of how to handle a toddler throwing objects, hitting, and refusing to pick up toys. I have tried "redirecting" him, but whatever I "redirect" him to just gets thrown as well, so that doesn't work. Telling him "No," or "Do not hit. Hitting is not nice," doesn't work. I've had to hold his hands down when he smacks me and then he arches his back and tries wriggling away. It seems like nothing is working. Talking isn't working. Redirecting isn't working. Yelling doesn't seem to work, because both of us just get angrier.
To make matters worse, we are staying with my parents temporarily, and my mom took him yesterday and made him "sit on the chair" at the dining room table after he threw a cutting board against her curio cabinet. Tonight she told me "Whatever you are doing isn't working. He is out of control and doesn't play well with other kids. You need to fix it or take him to a doctor because something is wrong with him."
I'm really hurt and offended, but at the same time I know that he cannot continue throwing objects, especially those that could hurt him, someone else, or another person's belongings.
When I ask him to pick up his blocks, he just ignores me, so I ask him again and maybe he'll pick up one, and then walk away. Other times I'll ask him to pick them up and he'll pick up one and slam dunk it into the box, then refuse to pick up the rest.
Tonight I felt so out of control with anger over this. I yelled at him to pick up the blocks. I even cursed at him in the middle of one request because we were about 15 minutes into this power struggle, and he still was just sitting there, picking up one, then playing with the rest, or walking away.
I'm feeling confused about why this is happening, and wondering if something really is wrong with him. My mom said she's never seen a two-year old behave the way he does. It made me want to cry.
He doesn't really throw anything in public. We go to music class and story-time, and he is usually happy, running around, looking at books, playing with the instruments. Why does this keep happening at home?
Trying to "understand his perspective" isn't doing me much good, either. I "understand" he is full of emotions and is expressing his feelings, or his will, but it is having a negative impact on those around me.
I don't know what else to do.
Edited by Binduspire - 2/17/14 at 5:17pm