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Very lonely

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone,

I'm a 37 year old stay at home mom of three school aged children, 6, 8 and 10. This year I've been subbing at their school. There are hardly ever subbing jobs so most days I stay at home, alone, while the husband and kids are doing their thing. I am so lonely. I want to look into getting a job during the day but we have a long trip we're taking in a few months and I want to wait til after we get back to look around.

The real problem is, the only kind of job I could get would be some crappy part time low paying job, because of child care issues. I am really trying to be grateful to have 3 healthy kids and a sweet supportive husband, but I feel like this is not the life I wanted. Ever since I've had kids I feel like I've lost myself. I guess I just need some encouragement.

post #2 of 4
Aww mama, hugs to you. Mothering is not easy and I find it is real easy to forget about yourself as a person because you become so use to caring for others. Do you have any friends? Can you get a volunteer job that you could enjoy rather than a crappy low paying job? How about taking a class?
Hugs again!
post #3 of 4

Have you considered a volunteer position? It sounds like what you're looking for is more something that interests you and gives you another sense of purpose, rather than just to rake in the bucks. Maybe there's a position out ther ethat you would find inspiring and you could meet like-minded people while you're at it... my mom started volunteering at a thrift store years ago... they raise funds for services like counseling and programs in the community, and a food bank. Plus she made it her hobby to clothe all her grand kids on the cheap, ha ha! Anyway, it's something to consider.

post #4 of 4

Hugs Mama, you are absolutely correct about feeling like you lose yourself after you have kids, and now your kids are in school during the day and it's not clear to you what your role is.

 

Have you thought about what you'd like to do longer term?  Perhaps you could start thinking about this, and make a plan about you can move forward in that direction.  Maybe it will involve some part time study or joining some professional development groups.  Just try to put down on paper what you are interested in, and be open to a new career that you hadn't even thought of.  I think just by getting the ball rolling, you will feel much better because it's a project in itself. Try to look at this as a very exciting time in your life because you get to start with a blank canvas.

 

Look for some online support groups that promote "positive psychology" - just being in a community of "can do" people will really lift your spirits and remind you that you have so much untapped potential within you.

 

Also try to cultivate a belief that "there is a perfect job out there for me" rather than believing that "the only job I could get is a crappy low paying job".

 

Aside from that, are there some hobbies that you could when the kids are at school so that you have some regular social contact and can engage in something you enjoy.

 

I empathise...it's not always easy being without regular adult contact.

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