This is dora96 from Australia Sydney, I have a lot of problems with my kids. We have four kids ranging from 15 to 6 years of age. My husband and I are very unusual couple. My husband is 74 years old English man, and I am 44 this year Chinese woman. We have a huge age gap between my husband and I . We love our kids and each other, but my husband is permissive dad, no beliefs or religions. I am a Christian, love God and serve Him with all my heart.( It doesn't mean I am superior than him, I just want to show you the difference between us. )
We are struggling with our teenager kids. They are lack of responsibilities and respects. Let me tell you two major issues in my family right now.
Last year, we found our older son experimenting drugs, smoking pot with his girlfriend in his room, not going to school, stealing money from us. We have called the police a few times. There was only a week or so improvement, but the same situation happened again. Eventually, we threw him out, he didn't come home for a bout two weeks, he came back after that not staying our house, but taking food and shower, making phone calls. We both agreed that in the beginning, he was allowed to come home, until he had a regular drug test, and willing to change ( attend school and go to work in his part time job), he refused to do any of them, sadly, my husband gave in, He said " where can he go, it is illegal to throw under age kid out of the street? etc....". I still constantly insist the rules and boundaries, he just completely ignore me. My son hates me and despises me. He told me very disrespectfully nothing I can do about it . I can't fright with him physically and he is over 6 foot tall. I have no show physically to throw him out, I have called the polices due to his abusive behaviors, but he runs off before the police come. They have never caught him. Now the polices are sort of sick of us, they said " unless it is criminal matter, they can't deal with parenting issues. My husband is in denial , he is old, tired and he is not well in health and he wants peace and quiet as long as our son is not doing anything terribly wrong in our house.
The same situation, my daughter has been going out with a 15 years old boy for 4 months, they love each other, she brings him in our house and stays the whole weekend together and bugger off whenever they feel like. He also smokes only outside, but my husband said " where should they go? We can't let our daughter sleep in the street". Both of them are not interested in school, not planning to work. I don't give them money, but dad gives them occasionally. He said" they need money to catch the trains and buses."
There were a few occasions that they got a fare invasion fine, we didn't pay for them, but an enforcement notice came to us, warning us if we don't pay for the fine, they would come to seize your possession. Now they said it is totally our fault. I cry every day and I can see the situations only get from bad to worse because my husband doesn't have the authority or he just doesn't want to use it. I am so frustrated about it. We have talked it over all times, but he just won't reinforce the disciplines. I just can't do it by my self. We have no family in Australia, we are migrants from other countries. I would really appreciate if you could give me some advices and help me if I need to do all these on my own thank you.