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October Moms Pregnant After Loss Thread

post #1 of 234
Thread Starter 
I'm not going to type my whole story up right now (I'm on my phone), but I noticed there are quite a few of us who are expecting again after a loss, and thought it might be nice to have a place to share our hopes and fears. smile.gif
post #2 of 234

thanks monkeyscience. it will be nice to have this forum. i am feeling excited right now, day 1 of being preggo. i know the anxiety is coming though and i'd like to discuss more about timelines and testing for serial HCG and early ultrasound. 

I am thinking 6 week HCG counts and then maybe a 7 or 8 week ultrasound? last pregnancy i didn't have an ultrasound as i should feel the funds growing, but it turned out the baby had stopped growing but the sac was still growing.

I will get to speak with one of the midwives on tuesday.

 

best wishes ladies!

post #3 of 234

I'm really excited that for http://www.stillbornandstillbreathing.com. They're hosting a blog series on love letters to moms pregnant after loss, starts on the 14th :throb

post #4 of 234
Hi all! Thanks for starting this thread! I've been thinking of starting it myself, just hadn't got around to it.

I had a very recent loss. Bleeding started Jan 6th at 8 weeks, baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. I had an ultrasound at 7w4d which revealed the baby much smaller than I expected with questionable cardiac activity. The Doc thought he could maybe see something of a heartbeat but he couldn't measure it. I left that appointment trying to think positively but overall the whole picture (measuring early for dates, decreasing symptoms) didn't add up and I knew the baby was gone. That was a Thursday, Sunday I began spotting and Monday the blood was bright red. Tues the yolk sac with tiny baby came out, my husband and I inspected it, sadly but also with wonder. I stopped bleeding after a week, we resumed sex right away, got married Feb 1st. I got a faint bfp the morning after our wedding. I have a 7 year old boy and this is now my 3rd pregnancy.

I am very freaked out but so very happy to be pregnant again. Praying and thinking positively. I'll probably get hcg levels drawn in a week or so and definately an early u/s.

-Anne
Edited by OregonMoon - 2/9/14 at 6:54pm
post #5 of 234
Thread Starter 

Welcome, Jese and Sami! Not exactly a club you want to be part of, but better to at least not be alone, right?

 

A little about us: We had a son in August 2012 after dealing with infertility due to PCOS. I was thrilled to find out I was pregnant just a couple of days before ds's first birthday - it was the second time I ovulated since his birth, and the first time we really tried to get pregnant. I was excited not to be dealing with the whole infertility mess again. (PCOS usually improves temporarily with pregnancy/nursing.) We bought a big brother shirt for DS and gave it to him at his birthday party as our way of telling our family our news. I was tired, but excited to only experience occasional mild nausea after being horribly nauseous for about half my pregnancy with DS. We were about a week away from our first midwife visit when I started spotting. I didn't think anything of it - I had had some mild spotting with my ds due to an irritated cervix. I also had a backache, but didn't think anything of that, either. The next day, the spotting had increased and was redder, and I was definitely cramping. I was 7w 5d, and I pretty much knew it was over at that point. I texted my midwife to tell her what was happening. She called me, and confirmed my fears - it was most likely a miscarriage, and, of course, nothing could be done. The placenta passed the next day, and the bleeding and cramping were mercifully mild and brief compared to what many have experienced. My guess, based on lack of symptoms and lack of any discernible fetus passing was that development had stopped fairly early on. We hadn't had any blood tests or ultrasounds, so I'll never really know for sure.

 

This pregnancy, I have been paranoid since the get-go. I went and saw an OB/GYN a few weeks before I got pregnant to talk about my PCOS issues, and he said he'd be happy to order blood tests and an early ultrasound for me when I did get pregnant again. (My midwife could also do this, but he is much closer by.) So as soon as I got a past-the-time-limit squinter on an HPT (about 9 DPO), I called for a blood test. They took FOREVER to get back to me with the results, but I had good doubling times, so that was reassuring. Also, my hCG levels are fairly high overall, which probably also explains why I get such bad morning sickness, and is yet another indicator that something went wrong early on last time. We had our early ultrasound on Friday at 6w 2d (give or take a day), and we saw a heartbeat!! Doc measured the baby at 6w6d, which is impossible, but it was so small and squirmy, he had a hard time getting a good picture to measure. He also measured my cervix length, and said it was excellent. (Apparently if it's under a certain length, that's a risk for miscarriage.) I also feel terrible, so I take that as a good (but icky) sign. I see the midwife in 2 weeks and am hoping they pick up the heartbeat on a doppler, even though it's early. We heard my son at 8w 4d, so it's possible!

post #6 of 234

Hey all! I'm at work, and I think I may have posted my story elsewhere already, so I am not going to do it again right now. But I am really grateful for this thread!

post #7 of 234

Thanks for starting this thread, monkeyscience. This pregnancy is scary for me after two early losses last year. None of our babies have been planned, and I like it that. But it still hurts no matter. I have never had losses that I know of except those two. My question is, if I tell my care provider, will I be labeled high risk because of them?

post #8 of 234
lilbsmama- no, I don't believe you'd be labeled highrisk b/c of 2 early losses. M/c is fairly common, although so sad and painful every time. Are you planning on seeing an OB or midwife? I work with pregnant women and it's important to know complete health history so I can be extra careful/loving with mamas who have a loss, also important to know if they have had a d&c or not, to know surgical history. You'll def want to tell your provider so you can have more individualized care.
post #9 of 234

I'll most likely be seeing an OB this time. 

post #10 of 234

Ladies, I'm obsessing over my blood tests.  Last Monday, my progesterone was 27.5 and today I had another draw.  I get to access my results online, and it's15.2.  This is bad, right?  :(  Annoyingly, my hcg results are not yet posted. >:(  Man, I thought this one might stick, too. 

post #11 of 234
I'm so sorry this is worrying you. I don't know if that is bad. I'm guessing lower is not reassuring, but honestly I don't know. I hope hcg levels are up soon so you get an idea of what's going on. Early pregnancy (esp after loss) sucks! I'm praying your baby is sticking around. Hugs!
post #12 of 234
Thread Starter 
I'm sorry, marmo. That does sound worrying. I think lower is not a good sign, but I don't know if it's as certainly bad as dropping hCG. And grrr about not having all your results! Any chance your doctor might already have them?
post #13 of 234

i hope everything is fine marmo, do you have another blood hCg to compare to? you are still in range for progesterone, maybe you need extra for first trimester.

 

I have a lab sheet to go in for progesterone asap once pregnant. here is am at 3 weeks 4 days. should i go in tomorrow? what should it be? i had it tested luteal phase last cycle and it was 45ish.

when should i request serial hcg? closer to 5-6 weeks?

i think i will request an ultrasound around 7 weeks as previously my babies stopped growing at 6-7 weeks and 8.5 weeks. not that an ultrasound guarantees anything but i think it will help me relax.

post #14 of 234

Having a grief wave today. The anxiety is crippling. I feel so bad for buttercup, having to stew in this pain, I'm sorry buttercup. I miss your big brother so much sometimes I forget how to breathe. I held some of his clothes today, and his smell is gone and I'm not doing well. It's been a really really hard couple of days. bawling.gifgloomy.gifbrokenheart.gif

post #15 of 234

:HugHugs, Sami. 

post #16 of 234
Thinking of you Sami. Sending love and light to you and Buttercup.
post #17 of 234

Oh Sami, I am so sorry.  I don't "belong" on this thread but I just want you to know I saw your story when I first joined the ddc and I think about you every single day.  I'm so sorry, I can not even begin to wrap my mind around what you are going through.  Sending you lots of peaceful thoughts.

post #18 of 234
Thanks mamas. hug.gif
post #19 of 234

I have 3 beautiful children...ages 2, 4, and 6. My 4 the pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage this last fall. I finally had a D&C at 16 weeks.  We waited 3 cycles since then and got pregnant this 4th cycle (though we were still preventing!) I must have ovulated earlier than normal.  EDD Oct 24. Excited :)


Edited by AshleeS - 2/14/14 at 11:53pm
post #20 of 234
Sami, I'm so sorry. I wish that anything I could say would take bit of the pain away, but I know it can't, so I'm just so sorry. And all the mamas here, it takes courage to do this again. I'm happy for you all, and wish everyone a healthy 9 months.
My hcg numbers are still looking good, and I started a progesterone supplement. On Friday I get another blood draw and hopefully an ultrasound next week. I feel a little detached and clinical about this, or I thought I did, until I worried my progesterone numbers meant I was losing it, then I realized that I would be heartbroken all over again. I told my husband that of I lost this pregnancy, I would try once more, and if it was another miscarriage, then I'm done. I can't take much more. The struggle to get and stay pregnant is too hard on me, AND my family. I know I'm despairing when there isn't anything to despair over. I just thought I was more ok with everything we went through to get pregnant with my son than I actually am.
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