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October Moms Pregnant After Loss Thread - Page 2

post #21 of 234
Hugs to all the PAL mamas! It's a rough journey. I pray you all make it to the end with a healthy, crying rainbow baby in your arms. <3

This is my 5th pregnancy, and will hopefully be our 4th living baby. Pregnancy #3 was our loss, so we have a rainbow baby already. Finley Jonas died at about 13 weeks and was born at home, still, at 16 weeks. My pregnancy with our youngest was *so* rough on me, mentally and emotionally. I felt bad for the baby I was growing. greensad.gif When she was born, I cried tears of joy and said "hi baby, you're here!"

You guys are smart to have a PAL support thread in the DDC. I hope it helps you all!
post #22 of 234

I am so grateful you started this thread. I have been feeling so crazy with worry. Nothing really eases it. It feels like a waiting game that is just dragging on. I've been going back and fourth about doing a vaginal UC at 7.5 weeks just to catch something if there is a problem, but there is no guarantee. I feel in my heart that it feels like my first successful pregnancy, but that doesn't mean it will keep feeling that way. I am not nearly as nauseous yet. This is going to be a difficult pregnancy just managing my emotions I think. So many of my close friends have been through later m/c recently too. Sigh. thanks for listening.

post #23 of 234

it's so hard not too worry. but i've just been trying to keep up the joy and trying to be excited and optimistic when announcing my pregnancy to my closest friends and coworkers this week. those that will figure it out anyways with my constant munching and pee breaks. plus my belly's here already.

 

keep going ladies, 

post #24 of 234

I am so glad that this thread exists. I am not quite 6 weeks along and go back and forth between feeling excited and hopeful, and being worried and obsessing over whether my symptoms are as strong as they were last week or yesterday...

 

I had a loss in November 2012 at 8 weeks and another in May 2013 at 11 weeks (with that one we saw a heartbeat at 7 weeks, so the mc was particularly surprising). Lots of tests and no clear answer, which has been hard. 

 

I feel like I just came through the grief on the May loss a couple months ago, and because of that, I'm not surprised that it took so long to get our next bfp - although my partner and I are also working with a sperm donor who lives across the country, so there were some other obstacles to a quick bfp, too. 

 

Here's to good news and lots of support for all of us...

post #25 of 234

It is hard not to get worried. I keep thinking "things are going well... for now" -- it is almost impossible for me to drop the "for now." I am working on not being worried, because I know that doesn't help. But yeah, we are having our first u/s in the middle of week 7, but I know that last time the embryo survived into early-to-mid week 8, so I wonder how I will feel after my u/s. Even if I get a heartbeat and all looks good, I will be wondering if it is just going to stop the next week. It makes me happy when I hear about people who carried a baby to term after one m/c and nervous when I hear about people who had two m/c before carrying a baby to term -- but I can imagine it is much worse for the people who have had the experience of two m/c already. 

 

Fingers crossed for us all!

post #26 of 234
Thread Starter 

Sorry I've been so absent on this thread - I always want to do more personal responses on here, and I hate trying to do that on my phone, which is where I'm usually browsing from. (I'm convinced someday my son will have brain cancer, since the cell phone is nearly always by his head while he's nursing...)

 

Anyway, I'm glad we've got a nice little community to share with here, even if I don't always respond.

 

The next few days are big for me - this is when I started spotting and then miscarried last time. I have no reason to think it will happen again, I'm still sick a ton, totally different from last time, but still - I will feel better when Wednesday passes. Even better if we hear the heartbeat Friday.

 

Meanwhile, I can't help thinking that if the last baby stuck, I'd be totally over morning sickness and be closer to counting down the weeks until baby arrived. Sigh. But based on how poorly I'm able to care for my son now, I can't imagine how he would have been okay if he'd been barely one. Although I guess he nursed more then, so maybe he wouldn't have been so hungry? But I probably wouldn't have been well-hydrated enough to nurse him 6+ times a day, either.

post #27 of 234

Monkeyscience - I know what you mean. If I hadn't lost the last pregnancy, I would be 6 months along now. I have a friend who conceived two days before me, and it is a little weird to see her growing belly and hear about her plans. That should have been me, too... and it would have been fun to be on maternal leave together. I think I will also get nervous when I get close to the time when I lost the last embryo (8 weeks). I'm still 3 weeks away from that, though.

post #28 of 234
I'm worrying today. My boobs are less sore, I haven't been feeling as nausous since yesterday. I know symptoms can come and go but this is what happened last pregnancy. I'm 6w1d today. Baby stopped growing around 6w last time, i started bleeding at 8w.Trying not to worry but It's getting to me. I have a dr appointment Monday. Hoping for reassuring news but now kinda dreading waiting that long and then finding out the baby isn't growing. I know it could totally go the other way. I guess it's hard to feel that right now.
post #29 of 234

I am an anxious ball of nerves. It is amazing how in tune I have become with my body- I am aware of every little cramp and tinge and twist and bubble and what-not.

 

My appointment is today for an U/S. I was not very excited to have ultrasounds at all, but I need to know that everything is okay. I just know that it will help me unclench a tiny bit. I am also dreading finding out something is wrong. Whew. Big ball of emotions, I am. 

post #30 of 234
Hi ladies! So, so, so very thrilled to be here! heartbeat.gif I will BBL to read your stories and introduce myself as I've got to make dinner. I just couldn't wait another second and wanted to go ahead and dive into this thread, well, because lol. Forgive me if that comes off as a bit abrupt; I'm sure you guys know where I'm coming from wink1.gif . Much love to you all and breathe lovelies blowkiss.gif .
post #31 of 234
Thread Starter 
This is the day I lost my baby last time. Not the slightest hint of blood anywhere today. Very relieving to get past this point!

What news from your ultrasound, Hallie?
post #32 of 234
Yay for getting past milestones monkeyscience smile.gif .

I hope your scan went well hallie smile.gif .

jese I love the visualization you were talking about on the TTCAL thread thumb.gif .

I hope you and your Buttercup are doing well today Sami hug.gif .

So, a little about me. This is my fifth pregnancy. We have two boys 7 and 3 and I've had two losses, both at around 10.5 weeks, the first in November of 2012 then the second in July 2013. I had never had fertility issues before and suddenly I found myself thrust into a world of m/c's, hormonal imbalance, and secondary infertility. This whole experience has been quite a journey and I'm so grateful to be able to have this opportunity to be pregnant again. No matter how this turns out I'm doing my very best to enjoy every second. When the fear and uncertainty comes I have to remind myself to keep breathing.

I'm so sorry that we all share this common bond but I'm so glad we have the ability to empathize with each other. Thank you all for sharing here in this thread. Truly, I hope we all get our rainbows heartbeat.gif .
post #33 of 234

So, I am going to take the plunge and join! I have been lurking for a couple of weeks, since I got my BFP on January 31, but I was too anxious to join. We all know how this goes.

Due date is October 13, and my first appointment is next Thursday. I did have three betas done in the first week after bfp and they were beautiful: strong numbers that rose perfectly.

monkeyscience, It's eerily odd how similar we are. We were together on the May board, miscarried around the same time, and now here we are again. But now we're here to stay! :)

mamacatsbaby, you have no idea how happy I am to see you here. What happened to us 'waiting to try" :) So thrilled for both of us.

everyone else, can't wait to get to know you better!

post #34 of 234
Thread Starter 
Hi, kaliakra! I remember you. smile.gif Glad to see you here, too!
post #35 of 234
Hi Kaliakra! flowersforyou.gif How are you doing? Are you getting the sickies, etc. yet? You're about 2 weeks ahead of me. What happened to waiting lol.gif . Who the freak knows ROTFLMAO.gif . Once I tip-toed back into NTNP all that just kind of got kicked in the teeth by TTC lol. Time is not on my side so back up on the horse I went! orngtongue.gif
post #36 of 234

I feel like I can relate to everyone of you... :grouphug This first part is very trying.. I am just waiting to see. Love and hugs to you all.

post #37 of 234

yay, so thrilled that my crew is here! honestly it makes this easier to go though right now as IRL i'm not sharing with most. 

 

oregonmoon, how are you feeling? its impossible not to worry at those milestones from the past. i hope you are feeling very pregnant! even a good sleep or a good breakfast can make you feel better one day over the next. just keep imagining that baby growing. 

 

I am now 5 weeks and go for my first beta tomorrow, then another monday so it'll be 4 days instead of 2 mostly due to my schedule. no previous history with trouble at this stage so all should be well. once i get past 7 weeks i'll be a wreck so i'm hoping for an u/s at that point. 

 

i am TRYING to be present and not think ahead too much, wishing it was april already. I hope to meditate more, starting tonight. 

i am also soooooo exhausted. grow baby grow!

 

mamacats i've been finding myself using the same terminology.  "yep, back on the horse'. 

post #38 of 234

I'd like to share the affirmations that came out of my recent counselling sessions to process my losses. These are the turn arounds of the negative thoughts i was having. They are helping me with this pregnancy and I hope they help you too.

 

 
 
1.  Life is full of joy
 
2. Life is full of love.  Kindness and support are all around me.
 
3. I can handle this.
 
4. I am empowered to help myself.
 
5. I have lots of support.
 
6. There is every reason to believe that I can grow another child.
 
7. I know my body can grow a baby.
 
8. I can be present to each new experience.
post #39 of 234
Absolutely love, love, love those affirmations jese! Guess what I'll be adding to my repertoire, ha orngbiggrin.gif .
post #40 of 234

I am so happy to be expecting after loss and this thread gives me life. I actually thought I was pregnant last month and the month before last. I "thought" I was. This time I have a missed period and also a positive test. My plans are to wait until I get a sonogram to tell my DH because we never had a sonogram. I did tell a few people but I honestly care to make my DH smile. I am very positive about this pregnancy and I talk to my baby(ies) everyday. I do not know why I think it might be twins. I should be about 4 weeks and a few days. I am feeling so in love with the symptoms because I know its my baby growing inside of me :throb:throb

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