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Poll about finding out the sex

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
I'm always interested in people who have found out the sex early for some pregnancies and waited for others. If you did it differently with different pregnancies, what made you change your method? Which way did you prefer? We've never found out but each time I'm tempting to just to see what that experience is like. But then I don't want to give up the experience of waiting either so we've never found out. Just curious about other people's experiences.
post #2 of 23

We didn't find out with our first. I didn't want to, I felt it ruined the surprise, it was only our first and I was planning on four so I only wanted GN clothing in the little sizes anyways, at that time there was no "girly carseats/highchairs/swings" it was all GN stuff. And I just liked the idea of waiting. 

I was *POSITIVE* I was having a boy. Like super duper positive. DH only had brothers, his dad had two brothers and two sisters, but it was two boys from that father first (the oldest sister had a different dad) and pretty much just all boys in that family. When we went for the ultrasound we were also told that the only sex they could be 100% positive on was boy and the tech said "Do you want to know, I can tell you." And everyone else was positive I was having a boy too. Including people who said they never guessed wrong.

And then I had a girl. And no one made that big announcement "It's a GIRL!" when she came out. It was a couple minutes before they handed her to me and said "Here's your daughter!". I was floored! It took me months to really *get* that I had a daughter. I always saw myself as a mom of boys. I didn't know how to raise girls. When I taught lessons my favorites classes were the classes of 4 3 year old boys :lol

It wasn't a disappointment feeling, it was just a shock feeling. I don't know how to explain it. 

When we were pregnant with our second. DH insisted we find out. He had been pretty insistent that we find out the first time and his dad was right pissed that we didn't find out. He even said minutes after the ultrasound with our first "Well it's not just her child..." So we found out the second time. DH was scared that I would be just as shocked although at that point it didn't bother me. 

Finding out was kinda nice and kinda a let down. On one hand you can plan a bit more if there is non GN stuff going in the house or for naming or a few other things I guess. But not finding out is fun too. 

With this one we'll probably find out again. I love my girls and would love another girl, but part of me would still like to be able to parent a boy. But although I wanted four part of me also thinks this may be our last biological child and knowing would be nice. Plus there's a few things I wouldn't mind planning before hand. 

post #3 of 23

My husband doesn't want to find out this time. We were 100% finding out last time. I'm pretty sure I have no desire to wait. I want to know and I'd like to know asap lol 

 

I told my husband I'd find out and he can be in the dark lol But we'll see. Maybe I'll get on his bandwagon. Maybe he'll get on mine.

 

Knowing would make my clothes situation easier. I have a ton of girl specific clothes and would need to at least get some more gender neutral just in case. But if it's a girl, it'd be wasted money because my daughter will only be 2.5 and we have all of her clothes.

 

I'm replacing my daughters car seat and getting a 2nd and they're both black/grey and green. 

 

Cosleeping, so no bedding needed. 

 

I don't have huge hopes or expectations either way so I could probably wait. I really love my girl so of course I see comfort in having another plus we only have 2 bedrooms and I'd be completely comfortable with two girls sharing a room through puberty but not so much a girl and a boy. But finding out won't change that anyways! I would love a little boy just as much and my husband would be over the moon ( and only very slightly less over the moon at a girl, and he suspects we're having a girl)

 

 

 

I might have talked myself into waiting for as long as my husband wants to!

post #4 of 23
We found out with our first and second. This is #3 and we'll wait. We have a boy and a girl so no reason I can see to not wait. Plus I could use the incentive for labor.
post #5 of 23
We didn't didn't find out with our first 3 and loved it! This time I am pretty sure we will, just because if it is a girl we'll have to move our girls to the bigger room. Plus I kind of feel like doing something different this time around. But part of me feels like finding out and not telling anyone... Just because I like making that big announcement and having the suspense!
post #6 of 23
We didn't tell anyone when we found out wink1.gif we kept it just to us smile.gif

I just found out that some of our friends actually did fun out what they were having but weren't telling anyone but apparently had told the Bro and SIL... Well we ran into them last weekend and they were a little tipsy so had loose lips lol. I kinda had figured out what she was having anyways just hadn't had it "confirmed". I also know what my other friend is having (also had guessed that one correctly) and she told me but I don't know if or who else she's told...
post #7 of 23

We found out with all 3 of our girls- I'm kind of a planner and really like to be prepared.   Plus I like having the name figured out ahead of time (each time our names have fit them perfectly).  But we don't tell anyone IRL the name ahead of time- no need to hear comments or opinions.

 

We will be finding out this time too... if it's a boy then we will need to get some non girly things.  It's hard to imagine I'm having a boy though- it's almost like I don't know if we're capable of making boys.  But I would really like the opportunity to raise a son.

post #8 of 23
Thread Starter 

It amazes me that I haven't found out with our first 3.  I was the kid who used to unwrap my Christmas presents before Christmas and then re-wrap them because I couldn't stand the wait!  But I think the bigger thing for me is that I like guarantees and I would hate to be told, "I'm 80% sure it's a ____" because I wouldn't feel like I could really KNOW what it was and yet I wouldn't be totally shocked at the birth either so I feel like it would ruin it for me.  Plus, I had a friend recently who had been told they were having a boy and surprise, it's a girl!  

 

And I'm also a big planner but I guess I'm not very organized or something when a baby comes because I don't know what I'd have to plan.  With our first, I was actually afraid to know because I worried that I'd want to buy a cute girl car seat or stroller or something and I just felt that it wouldn't be very practical (especially without having tons of disposal income) to get gender specific stuff that I knew I'd be using for multiple children.  And I didn't trust myself to not get caught up in the cuteness of a girly car seat or something.  I also knew I'd just want a lot of gender neutral newborn clothes and then once the baby is born people always bought us more clothes specific for a boy or girl so that was never an issue.  And we co-sleep for the first year so we never had to figure anything out in terms of who was sleeping in what room or anything. We also just picked a boy name and a girl name too. So I've always heard people want to plan, but I just never knew what to plan!  lol!  

 

I'm considering finding out this time (although dh definitely doesn't want to) just because it will likely be our last baby so our last chance to find out early.  Also, I'm hoping for a boy so we can give ds a brother and just to even things out and I almost want to know earlier so I can get used to the fact if it's not (not that I'd be upset with a girl, but I'd just have to accept that he probably won't have a brother).  I also probably wouldn't tell people though if we did find out.  My SIL found out with her first and it was sort of anticlimactic when she was born since everyone knew it was a girl, her name, etc.  The announcement was "She's here!" which was great, but it wasn't as exciting as when she'd kept it a surprise with her 2nd.  And I always have fun with people trying to guess and then sharing the news after the birth.  Although I did tell dh that I want to wait a bit after the birth to find out. He always wants to know right away and I'm still out of breath and recovering from just pushing a baby out of me so I look and tell him but it's still sort of surreal and doesn't really register so I felt (especially with our last birth where I only pushed for 14 seconds) like I sort of missed the announcement, as weird as that sounds!  Oh well, I have time to decide!  

post #9 of 23

So my husbands a big butt and says he was kidding, he wants to find out. Its also possible he's still being a butt and doesn't want to find out, but wants me to come back and post that he was kidding.

 

 

I'm married to an overgrown 5 year old ladies. lol I love him

post #10 of 23
Never found out and we won't ever find out. The surprise on birth-day is the best ever!
post #11 of 23

My husband wants to find out. I do not. I want to be surprised. And it will probably upset my mom. =D (I kind of feel like the dad in the Croods, he does things just to get rid of his MIL.. But this wont hurt my mom.) I am also not telling anyone the names I have picked out NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW. My mom just tears every single baby name of every grand kid she has apart because she thinks its weird or lame. She had 3 chances to name children it is our turn and I will not sit there for months and have her tell me my name was stupid. When my sister and BIL were looking for a biblical name my mother said that their choice (Gideon) was stupid and that she might as well just name her child Jesus. Not telling.

post #12 of 23

I totally want to find out! I know people say there are so few true surprises in life but I gotta say the last 2 years have been chock-o-block full of them for me, for once I'd like to know something and get excited and plan for it!

post #13 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaMaQ1125 View Post
 

My husband wants to find out. I do not. I want to be surprised. And it will probably upset my mom. =D (I kind of feel like the dad in the Croods, he does things just to get rid of his MIL.. But this wont hurt my mom.) I am also not telling anyone the names I have picked out NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW. My mom just tears every single baby name of every grand kid she has apart because she thinks its weird or lame. She had 3 chances to name children it is our turn and I will not sit there for months and have her tell me my name was stupid. When my sister and BIL were looking for a biblical name my mother said that their choice (Gideon) was stupid and that she might as well just name her child Jesus. Not telling.

We won't tell our name either.  We did with my first 2, and we got all kinds of opinions and criticism.  But with dd3 we waited until her birth and just announced it- and they had to accept it.  No comments were had!  

 

Crickets- I always felt like it was enough of a surprise to meet the brand new human being that shares your dna, that spent many months wiggling and kicking inside of you- I don't need to be surprised by the sex too.  Believe me you will be crazy surprised to meet this new little person even if you know their gender.

post #14 of 23

kateaton- haha I bet I will! This is all so strange and wonderful! 

post #15 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by kateaton View Post
 I always felt like it was enough of a surprise to meet the brand new human being that shares your dna, that spent many months wiggling and kicking inside of you- I don't need to be surprised by the sex too.  Believe me you will be crazy surprised to meet this new little person even if you know their gender.

kateaton - I think this was really, really well put.  Thank you.

 

crunchy - My DH's development was arrested somewhere around 2nd grade (as evidenced by the your-mama jokes he still brings up from time-to-time).  I know what you mean.

 

AFM - Well, cat's out of the bag as you all know I already found out!

 

As an aside: I see here and in lots of other posts about many people wanting their sons to have a brother...  I'd like to comment on that. 

My parents had 4 kids:  girl, boy (2 year gap), boy (2.5 year gap), girl (me with a 6 year gap). 

Accordingly, my brothers should've been like peas and carrots but they weren't.  My brother (6 years older) and I were the pair.  Like totally and completely inseparable all the way into college (and still very connected now even though we're far apart distance wise).  So even though there was a brothers option, it's still a matter of personalities that makes a pairing! 

post #16 of 23

I have a weird reason (well, not SO weird) for wanting my son to have a brother... He is the only male of EVERY male (uncles, cousins, his daddy) we know and little boy in this area that is intact. I just never want him to feel like he's the only one with a "normal" penis. Yes, I know boys don't show each other all the time and everything else, but as a mama, this would just make me feel better (as we still get SO MUCH SLACK from family and crude jokes about keeping him intact). :irked

post #17 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by WendyJo410 View Post
 

I have a weird reason (well, not SO weird) for wanting my son to have a brother... He is the only male of EVERY male (uncles, cousins, his daddy) we know and little boy in this area that is intact. I just never want him to feel like he's the only one with a "normal" penis. Yes, I know boys don't show each other all the time and everything else, but as a mama, this would just make me feel better (as we still get SO MUCH SLACK from family and crude jokes about keeping him intact). :irked

Your family seriously does this??? That is disgusting and shocking.  I'm really, really sorry you have to deal with that.  That is so damaging and immature and I'm kind of livid for you (and for your sweet boy!) at the moment.

post #18 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by WendyJo410 View Post
 

I have a weird reason (well, not SO weird) for wanting my son to have a brother... He is the only male of EVERY male (uncles, cousins, his daddy) we know and little boy in this area that is intact. I just never want him to feel like he's the only one with a "normal" penis. Yes, I know boys don't show each other all the time and everything else, but as a mama, this would just make me feel better (as we still get SO MUCH SLACK from family and crude jokes about keeping him intact). :irked

Oh sheesh! that is just wrong! I am sorry. One of our son's is intact and my mom is very "weird" about it... won't help bath him an acts like it is "nasty" or something. I just don't "get" it. I am sort of wishing for another son for the same reason. It is such a "non issue" when you come down to it... it is sad when people make it into one!

post #19 of 23

I don't remember having an issue with people critisizing our name with our daughter but we now live very close to my in laws and see them almost daily. They can be critical or just comment on everything so we will probably withhold for a while as well. They know me and understand I'm a "don't even bother talking shit" kind of person but they are vocal people (just like me and my husband) and can't always stop lol 

 

I think it's a surprise whenever you find out. =)

post #20 of 23
My husband is the oldest of 5 boys. I still am so proud he was willing to go against everyone's stupid opinions and learn about circumcision with me. Yes, they say idiotic things... Still! 3 years later!
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