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Telling your older kids.

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 

I told my kids this weekend. They are 15 and 13, both boys. My 15 year old has two younger siblings from his Dad, so he's thrilled. He loves being a big brother to them, though he only gets to see them a couple of times a year.

My younger son is over the top excited. I was nervous telling him, considering he's "the baby", and I'm getting older and all that jazz. But he took so well to the news, and has been asking lots of questions about me, my health, what's going on, and interjects his thoughts on life with a baby and names, and things through out the day. I'm so thrilled. I had this vision of a wonderful relationship between these siblings BECAUSE of their years difference. That she wouldn't be the naggy/bratty/annoying younger sister (or brother), but more of a sweet little person to enjoy and be friends with. 
I'm very happy for telling them.

Have you shared with the older siblings? Do you have experience BEING that older sibling?

post #2 of 3

My son was 7 when I got pregnant the second time.  He actually guessed because of my dizzy spells and aversion to certain odors, and said, "Are you having a baby or something?!" yet he was surprised when I told him that in fact I was!  He was all excited: "I never thought I would get to be a big brother!"  Then the embryo turned out to have no heart and died at 7 weeks.  He was very sad.

 

He was 8 1/2 when I got pregnant with this one.  Because of the previous loss, he was cynical at first, but after I'd heard the heartbeat he perked up a bit, and when I started "looking pregnant" in his opinion he became more interested.  Now every few days he asks questions about what the baby will be able to do when new, what he can do to take care of and entertain it, etc.  He has strong opinions about names, which unfortunately don't match up with his dad's and mine...so it's becoming our goal just to choose a name that we like and he doesn't outright hate.

 

I was the older sibling but only 2 years 5 months when my brother was born.  I don't remember being told about the pregnancy.  I just barely remember Mom having a big tummy and then the baby coming home and everybody paying attention to the baby not me. :angry I think it may be easier to enjoy a new sibling when you are farther from the baby stage yourself.  A lot of people shared positive stories of large age gaps between siblings in comments on my post about how my family planning didn't go as planned, and I have heard a lot of positives from people in real life as well.

post #3 of 3
Thread Starter 

Becca, I agree with you about the time distance between siblings. I think it could work in favor of a positive relationship. My boys are about 2 years apart, so they've "always" had each other, at least in their conscious remembering of their childhoods. I think in a way their relationship is taken for granted... Not as cherished somehow, or cherished differently. I'm sure in time they'll come to really cherish their relationship, but the closeness in age just makes it so "normal". 
With a good age gap, there is a different involvement. A much more conscious involvement. I'm really excited to watch my 13 and 15 year old become big brother mentors for this little person. We all love babies so much in this family, that falling in love will be easy and something special. I don't know if that all makes any sense, but I see so many positives in a big age gap.

 

My younger is excited for me to "look pregnant". I've told him stories of me in my fatter days, and I think he really just wants to see me fat! lol

 

Looking forward to hearing of how your "big brother" will transition into actual life as a big brother. 

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