or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Preteens and Teens › Increasing negative behavior since preteen years
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Increasing negative behavior since preteen years

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

I'm at the end of my rope; I remember a time when my daughter, Angela, was a sweet and kind little girl, and around the age of 9 there was a sudden snap and everything about her changed. She began to withdraw, became very quiet and solitary. I blamed it on puberty and figured that it would change as she got older. The behaviors evolved and she began mouthing off to teachers at school; I was in the school office at least every other week to talk about her behavior. Skipping classes, she's very disrespectful to me, seems to be either always sad or full of rage. Now at age 15 I've caught her drinking more recently, and she sneaks out of the house to be with friends that I think are nothing but trouble. Angela is very secretive, she put a lock on her bedroom door without my knowledge (when I found it, I had my brother help me get into the room and remove the lock), and I found a locked box (that my brother also helped me get into) containing a series of notebooks. I decided not to read these books for the time being, but I find it strange that she would lock up like this.

 

Was I right the first time, is this just puberty affecting her head? Or is something more serious at work here? I need ideas of what to do. I'm at a loss

 

 

-Kaelyn

post #2 of 5
Advice please.......
post #3 of 5

This sounds like more than puberty. A lot of kids withdraw and get a bit sullen around 12 or 13 but most work their way back and never get to the sorts of behaviors you mentioned. While I generally believe privacy is important, I also think her current behavior warrants skimming through the notebooks. Perhaps something happened when she was 9 and this all started. If you've tried to talk to her and she won't communicate. If she's drinking, sneaking out of the house, then she's forfeiting her rights to privacy. Just be fair. Try not to take any mother venting personally. You know we all did it. I'd just look for some clues and perhaps consider some professional help in the matter. I'm sorry you guys are going through this. Can't be easy to watch.

post #4 of 5

Its been going on for 6 years. Its something more serious. Take her to a good therapist.

post #5 of 5
This sounds like it's beyond typical pubescent or adolescent issues, and it's been going on a while. I'd get her to a counselor. Sometimes they won't talk to their parents but they'll talk to a third party, and she sounds like she needs help dealing with something.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Preteens and Teens
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › Preteens and Teens › Increasing negative behavior since preteen years