I apologize ahead of time because I'm not sure how much sense I'm going to make... I'll try!
My oldest in 9, 10 next week. My youngest is 3. I would say we are pretty middle-of-the-road unschoolers - RUers would think us too mainstream, mainstreamers think us too radical, heh. ;)
We are having issues with my oldest:
- more interested in playing the Wii than spending time with family
- not wanting to do basic things like have showers and brush teeth
- not wanting to do his piano homework for the class he choose to take
There's other things I could vent about, but those are the biggies right now. :)
And on my side, I am struggling with feeling like I am always running behind and never on top of things, and we are so disorganized that nothing ever gets done. Things we *want* to do we don't even get around to half the time! Let alone the boring stuff like housework! I am not a schedule person, but last week I wrote out a schedule for us for mornings when we are home. My son thought it was funny - "we've tried like 10 things to get organized before and it never works!" - and, yeah, not helping, lol. We haven't managed to follow it fully once. I think I could revise it a bit to be more forgiving of our nature to take things slowly, but I'm not sure it's really the answer.
Thing is, with piano and things like showers, I thought having a schedule or a routine would help him just get them done. I am tired of nagging him. It's not how I want to parent. This morning I asked him to have a shower - we aim for twice a week - because it was due and tomorrow we are leaving the house early so it wouldn't be a good day for it. He refused, saying he'd have one when we got home from being out this afternoon. Well, he hasn't. No big surprise.
With the piano, we aren't hardcore "you must practice your 20 minutes every day!", but I do expect him to put in a reasonable effort and do the written homework his teacher asks him to do. He is not sure he wants to continue with piano, which is fine, but while he is continuing with it, I feel like practicing and doing homework is his part of the bargain.
With the Wii, well, we've always been very relaxed about screen time, not having any particular limits - just talking about issues when they come up. Which I guess is what we need to do now, but I have to admit, I feel like just throwing the damn thing out! He spent 5 hours yesterday on the Wii and the computer (doing Wii stuff) and after I had just spent an hour trying to get his brother to sleep I came downstairs to remind him it's bedtime soon (yes, we have bedtimes) and he asked if he could stay up another hour to play more. I ranted, I admit. :(
I think I'm just tired of talking. I definitely don't want to nag about basic hygiene or piano practice or negotiate flipping screen time. I don't want my job to be the police! But that's the role I'm slipping into... Help!!