Does anyone struggle with a narcistic mother as well? I am struggling really badly at the moment, due to the overall situation.
My mom is not one who would jump right in to help someone if in need, as in she did not come to help out even though she knew that I was pretty sick from the pregnancy, the depression and the overall situation at home.
When I had to go on bedrest she came, and I guess it helped, but the price to pay was really, really high.
She left today (her dog is lonely otherwise, so she could not stay any longer) - and I am really, really relieved.
She was constantly critisizing me.
I spend to much money. And I don't know how to be organized enough to keep our family out of debt. (and while that is true, it does not help if someone is just punching it into your face all.the.time.)
I am not organized enough. My laundry room is a disaster (she arrived here after me being on bedrest for about five days, and I was not well before that, so it was a disaster. I just don't see how I could change that in the given situation).
We are not caring for our kids. They are untidy and their clothing is dirty. DS1 clothing is too colorful. (?!)
People talk about us, how we don't keep our kids tidy. Apparently.
She gets really upset and screams at me if I don't agree with her, and if I don't let her change my life. She used a doctor's appointment to clean our bedroom, which I feel is overstepping limits in a huge way, and she tried to throw stuff away that I did not want to be thrown away. And than she got hysteric when I didn't let her. There were three pairs of jeans and a maternity sweater and expensive toys from the kids in the bags. All in perfectly alright condition.
But I am mental. She tells me to see a therapist "for my problems" - she read my medical papers from the hospital - because they were lying around. Again - huge limit overstepping.
I don't know how to deal with this anymore. She does this my whole life, whatever I do, it's just not good enough. She always finds a reason to blame and critize and hurt, and than I am mental for telling her to please accept my limits.
She wants to come again for the birth of the little one, but I don't really think I want her here. She is not caring in the slightest, she actually told me when I had really, really bad contraction and my back were hurting like hell that I should fold the laundry: because your hands don't hurt.
I am really torn, because sometimes I think I see her being genuinely nice, but than the next critic starts.
And I honestly don't like it when my mother tells me that I need psychiatric care when I try to be mindfull and not waste resources and stuff.
And than she goes to people and tells them stuff about me, how I am crazy and overconfident and not a good mom, and it hurts me on such a deep level.
Anyone with similar experiences?