So now that I'm in the second trimester, I am thinking a lot about what the sex of this baby is. I wanted so bad to be team yellow and not find out at all, and let it be a surprise, but as time goes on I feel myself getting really anxious about the gender!!! I already have a sweet adorable little boy already and I guess I worry about it being another boy! I know that sounds ungrateful and insane but please let me emphasize that I am SO thankful for this pregnancy doing well and will feel blessed and in love with the baby no matter what the gender! There's just this part of me that wants my little boy to be my only little boy...and it's hard to imagine loving another little guy as much as I love him! I know that's crazy, but it's how I've been feeling and struggling with and I feel like finding out the gender in advance will give me time to wrap my head around the idea and bond if it is another boy.
On the other hand I want the surprise and elation that comes with finding out at birth!
I dunno, just so conflicted. :-( Any words of wisdom? How do I chill out about this?