This is as much a vent as it is a request for advice.
Our baby was doing pretty decently, not great, but alright. We couldn't figure out a tell when in diapers, but we were giving our baby about 30-45 minutes a day diaper free without any accidents, sometimes we'd notice what might be a signal sometimes it was just shear luck. We were planning on expanding the diaper free time slowly. Then our baby decided about 2 weeks ago (9.5mo) that peeing on the floor and peeing on me is no big deal. We haven't been able to do diaper free time without an accident, as our baby will sit on the potty, get off, and immediately pee. I know this isn't uncommon- but it had never happened before. We've tried getting baby underwear in case the problem was that our baby thought no diaper=pee time, but that hasn't helped and the underwear isn't thick enough so it still gets on the floor or me.
What really makes me want to tear my hair out, though, is that our baby signals at night. The only reason our baby wakes up (aside from a 7am feed) is to go to the potty. Which is generally only twice a night, but last night it was 6 times. Our baby can make it clear they need the potty, can hold it for a few minutes if we're being slow, and can go on the potty- without actually waking up. But during the day, nothing.
I really hate it. I wouldn't mind the middle of the night wakings if our baby was staying dry during the day, but right now I just don't feel this is worth it. It only makes me more frustrated to know that our baby can but won't. I hate waking up at night to do this, if I knew how to get our baby to go back to wetting diapers without waking up I would in a heart beat. I need sleep and I don't need this headache. I really don't know where to go from here. I hate having to leave our baby in diapers all the time, but I'm not willing to let our baby piss all over the floor and me.
This morning was just really bad. Our baby was going diaper free for 45 minutes without an accident. I thought we might have gotten over the regression and back on track. Tried the potty 3 times after what seemed like tells with nothing, so figuring kiddo just didn't have to pee, then I pick up the baby to go somewhere else in the house and got peed on. I keep reading that babies are supposed to not want to pee on their caregivers, but apparently mine thinks I'm a potty- I'm sick of it!